The first time my heart was broken

When I was 8 years old the church I attended sent the youth to a summer camp at a church in a nearby town. A yellow school bus picked up about 20 of us Monday through Friday and we went to a center that was located next to the church in the other town. One day we went on a field trip to Mill Mountain and there was a long winding uphill drive that terrified me. I looked out the window and thought we were going to fall over the side and die.

As the bus escalated up the road I turned to listen as some of the older girls were singing songs like "Three six nine the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street care line. The line broke and the monkey got joked and they all went to heaven on a little row boat". There was also another song about drinking wine spo-dee-odie. As I was turning back the boy I will refer to as Gary who was a few seats behind winked at me and my heart melted.

A rush of emotion took me over and I was in love, or so I thought. From that day, every time I got on the bus to camp I would try to sit near Gary who would wink and smile. One day when several seats were empty I began moving my way to the front of the bus by sitting in vacant seats. When I was close to the front I plopped down right beside Gary who was at a window seat. A few of the girls teased me and said "Aww Cheryl loves Greg and I blushed".

Gary was 13 and probably should not have been flirting with an 8 year old but I did not know it at the time. I think we all were simply young at heart and innocent, sheltered county kids. Once day camp was over, Gary was simply a guy in the neighborhood who went to the same church as I did. Our paths did not cross again until 5 years later. I was now 13 and in the 8th grade in junior high school and Gary was a high school senior. We rode the same bus until it stopped at the local elementary school when we each boarded different busses to take us to our respective learning institutions.

One day I was already on the homebound bus and sitting at a window seat when the high schoolers came onboard Gary sat behind me. I felt a tap on the back of my seat and when I lookedGary's fingers were reaching between the seat and the side of the bus. I placed my hand back just enough so that our fingers could touch and it was electricity. We held out fingers this way until it was time for me to get off the bus and we continued this for quite some time.

One Sunday in January it was about 4 degrees outside but my grandma decided she was going to church which was about a block from our house. I dressed up and went too because I wanted to see Greg. There was an old coal furnace in the basement that had to be fired up so the building was freezing. Greg's dad was a deacon and he started the fire. Greg , his mom, younger sister, my grandma, and I were the only ones who came out that day. We had Sunday school but did not go on with the usual Sunday service.

I sat beside Gary and no one knew a thing because they thought we were simply trying to stay warm but my heart was on fire. I marvel at the emotions I had at such a young age without even kissing this boy. We sat on the seat side by side and held hands and no one else could see it and I was over the moon. I was living in a fool's paradise, however, and my world was about to come crashing down.

Gary and I continued holding hands on the bus whenever he could sit behind me and I felt like I had a secret lover. One afternoon, however, when the high school students boarded the bus Gary walked down the aisle holding the hand of another girl who was walking behind him and I was crushed. She was 14 and later that year they got married because she was pregnant. How could he have spent all that time with me, while having a real girlfriend with whom he was having sex?

Jimmy Ruffin sang "What becomes of the broken hearted, I can't stand this pain much longer." and thats exactly how I felt at age 13, I cried and felt as if my world was falling apart. I had been nothing more than a side chick, even though there was no real romance and it hurt deeply. Time went on and Gary and his wife had a son but the marriage did not last. Years later Gary became friends with my middle brother and he came around our house a lot. He tried flirting a little bit but I was no longer interested. A few years later after I met the man I would marry, Gary actually went to his house and gave him a ride to see me one Friday night.

Although these situations took place when I was 8 and 13, my feelings were no less real than a woman who gets cheated on today. I was in love at age 8 even though I know most people would call it a crush and my heart was broken as I felt betrayed at age 13. Thankfully I got over both and today I consider it all youthful indiscretions and consider Gary a lifelong friend.