Taboo
(Part 2) To the Man I Was at 19: A Letter from You - 12 Years Wiser (What God Was Doing All Along)
Hey, You spent so much time wondering where God was in all of it. What you did not see then was that He was never far. Every moment you felt overlooked or misunderstood, He was guiding you through lessons that cannot be taught by comfort. You were not abandoned; you were being equipped.
By Peter Thwing - Host of the FST Podcast12 months ago in Confessions
(Part 1) To the Man I Was at 19: A Letter from You - 12 Years Wiser
Hey, You don’t realize it now, but the way you feel everything so strongly is not a flaw. It is proof that your heart works exactly as it should. You care deeply, you hurt deeply, and you see the world through empathy before logic. That is not weakness. It is the foundation of the man you will become.
By Peter Thwing - Host of the FST Podcast12 months ago in Confessions
Empowering Relationships Through Technology
The way we connect with others has undergone a profound transformation. What once relied on physical proximity now thrives in digital spaces, where individuals foster meaningful interactions, build communities, and explore personal growth through innovative online platforms. This article explores the empowering role of digital connection platforms—spaces designed to celebrate consent, creativity, and self-expression in relationships. Far from misconceptions about online social tools, these platforms represent a democratized approach to interaction, offering avenues for education, entertainment, and personal development. Understanding their value can help anyone harness technology for healthier, more fulfilling connections.
By SATPOWER12 months ago in Confessions
Worked for a Secret Government Unit — Until They Erased My Memory
I used to think secret government programs were just conspiracy theories. The kind of stories people post online to make themselves feel important. I laughed at those people once. I don’t laugh anymore. Five years ago, I worked as a security technician for a government contractor just outside Arlington, Virginia. It was a good job—steady pay, good benefits, nothing strange. Until one day, a man in a gray suit visited my supervisor. After that meeting, my access level changed. I was given a new keycard, a confidentiality agreement thicker than a phone book, and a warning: “You’ll be working on something sensitive. Don’t ask questions.” That was the last normal day of my life. The facility I was transferred to didn’t officially exist. It wasn’t on any map, and no one I knew had ever heard of it. The drive there was done in a black van with tinted windows, no phones allowed. They took us underground—at least three levels below the surface. I remember the metallic smell, the constant humming sound, and the way no one made eye contact. My job was simple: monitor a security system that didn’t protect doors, but *people*. Each person had a small metal implant in the back of their neck. I thought it was for tracking, but then I saw the data streams—it wasn’t GPS. It was *neural*. We were monitoring brain activity. One night, I saw something I shouldn’t have. A test subject—labeled only as “Subject 14”—started screaming during a procedure. His vitals went off the chart. Then suddenly, all his readings flatlined. But the doctors didn’t panic. They just stared at the monitor, almost… waiting. Ten seconds later, his readings came back, perfectly normal. He sat up, calm, eyes empty, and said, “The reset worked.” I still get chills when I think about it. The next morning, my terminal access was revoked. My ID stopped working at the elevator. That evening, two men from “Internal Security” showed up at my apartment. They said there had been a *breach* and they needed to perform a “routine check.” One of them carried a small case with medical equipment. The next thing I remember is waking up two days later in my bed. My head was pounding. My phone, computer, everything—gone. My company email was deleted, and my job portal said my contract had ended six months earlier. I thought it was a mistake… until I saw my reflection in the mirror. There was a small scar behind my left ear. I went to a doctor. The scan showed traces of surgical interference—something metallic had been inserted, then removed. The doctor said it looked “governmental” and refused to get involved. That’s when I realized the truth: they hadn’t fired me. They had *erased* me. Over the next few months, I started getting flashes—short, vivid images I couldn’t explain: a bright room, a red light, a woman’s voice saying “you shouldn’t have seen that.” Sometimes, when I hear high-frequency sounds, my vision blurs and those images return. I tried to contact a few former coworkers, but their numbers were disconnected. One of them, a man named Harris, was listed as “deceased” online. When I visited the address on his file, an elderly couple told me no one by that name had ever lived there. I’ve stopped looking for answers. I know they’re watching me. My internet sometimes disconnects for no reason, and my phone battery drains even when it’s off. A friend who works in cybersecurity told me it’s possible my device is being accessed remotely—but he refused to talk more after running a scan. So why am I writing this? Because lately, my memories are fading again. I forget names, places, faces. I’ve started recording everything I remember, hoping that if they come for me again, someone—anyone—will find this story and know I was real. If you’re reading this and you work for any government contractor, remember this: curiosity isn’t just dangerous—it’s forbidden. And if you ever wake up with a scar behind your ear and no idea how it got there… run.
By America today about a year ago in Confessions
confessions of a madwoman
for about three months, i forgot how to write. i couldn't draw or do much of anything creative but nothing terrified me on such an existential level as forgetting how to write. see, i had a condition called serotonin syndrome, an artificial build-up of the happiness chemical in my brain and it almost killed me. no joke, look it up. that particular side effect (of a cocktail of medications including a migraine preventative that was the last to be replaced) is a mortality risk and a half and i was grappling with the consequences of it at the same time as an identity crisis caused in part by the only viable solution to serotonin syndrome: serotonergic cessation. no serotonin aids for weeks. around that time i started having seizures whenever i tried to engage my imagination. it was hell. it still hurts a little to wrench the words from my subconscious to the surface and i'm twitching a bit because of it, but i'm afraid if i don't start writing again i'll never get back into the habit and this year has cost me so much already. i lost my mind, my career, my identity, my libido, possibly my marriage, definitely my sense of safety, and at least one extremely good friend whose loss i'm not allowed to grieve except at my therapist and buried in the lines of prose i scream into the void. i am profoundly alone and simultaneously surrounded by people who love me and it is the most surreal experience of my life. i'm in the middle of a full-blown PTSD resurgence, blending childhood and adult traumas together into a nightmarish hellscape that overlaps reality like a superimposed photograph all. the. time. and i'm having some kind of midlife crisis regarding my spirituality but lack of religious belief that led me to start a cult (which i will definitely be linking to when i finish writing this because shameless self promotion is the modus operandi). but in my defense the model is terribly unprofitable because the point is to crowd-source the epiphany to the masses, which means free access to all. the most important bits of the philosophy are completely free, from the playlist augury (which you can use to listen to the will of the universe once you tune it to your channel, so to speak) to the three mantras (which guide everyday decisions in the moment) to the twelve principles (which guide overall values and morals). they play off each other to create an implication of further values, but lack the strict methodical proscription of religious dogma. alchemy doesn't care how you get there, or even what you call it. all that matters is that you serve the equilibrium, the balance of the universe, the source of the energy, or your God by doing good things that adhere to the principles and live according to the mantras. if you don't want to use the playlist augury, you don't have to. be hyperpresent in your own body and do something that feels good while you think about who you are and what your place is in the world. mine is behind a screen, ranting like a crazy person (because I am a crazy person) about my nervous breakdown, my new cult, my impending bankruptcy, my new name, my rock bottom, my activist art that no one buys (but they should, since i don't even get a piece of some of them, so there will be another link here), my marriage, my mother... pretty much anything. so when i forgot how to write, i've never been so scared of anything in my life.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemistabout a year ago in Confessions
Not Everything. Top Story - June 2024.
Do you ever feel like you can't run from yourself fast enough? Like every decision you’ve ever made is eternal, but that knowledge alone is not enough to keep you from acting on your idiotic impulses and the thoughts of your bad heart?
By Mezmurabout a year ago in Confessions
so i started the world's worst cult
i really did start the world's least lucrative cult. i gave the real secret techniques away on my patreon already. there are three practical exercises: the playlist augury technique, the three mantras, the twelve principles. the "that chick is crazy crazy" techno-psycho-babble bits are optional extras, and only one of them costs anything to read. the secret recipes to fine-tune your psyche with your favorite music, without having to change religions or start one if you are a non-believer? they're coming to patreon this weekend for $1/each (of three).
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemistabout a year ago in Confessions
Chuck Schumer and the Government Shutdown: What’s Happening and Why It Matters
The United States is once again facing a government shutdown caused by a political standoff over federal funding and spending priorities. The shutdown has stretched into several weeks, with no clear resolution in sight. Federal employees are going unpaid, government services are disrupted, and frustration among citizens is growing as Congress struggles to agree on a plan to reopen the government. At the center of the political battle stands Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. As the top Democrat in the Senate, Schumer plays a critical role in shaping his party’s strategy and negotiating with Republican leaders and the White House. His leadership decisions have made him a key figure in determining how long the shutdown will last and what kind of deal might eventually bring it to an end. Schumer’s approach to the crisis combines firm resistance and strategic negotiation. He and his Democratic colleagues argue that certain Republican funding bills contain unacceptable policy changes or spending cuts that would harm essential programs. Schumer has blocked several GOP proposals in the Senate, insisting that any plan to reopen the government must be fair, balanced, and protect American workers and families. His critics, however, accuse him of using the shutdown as political leverage and preventing the passage of bills that could quickly restore government operations. Behind the scenes, Schumer’s team has been working tirelessly to coordinate Democratic votes and craft proposals that can win bipartisan support. His office has served as a command center for legislative strategy, with daily meetings focused on messaging, negotiations, and public communication. The challenge lies in balancing political pressure from within his party with the urgent need to find common ground that can pass both the Senate and the House of Representatives. The situation is further complicated by the White House’s stance. The President has made it clear that certain policy demands must be met before agreeing to reopen the government, which has limited the space for negotiation. This has left Schumer and other congressional leaders caught between intense political divisions and the practical need to keep government functioning. Public frustration continues to grow as the shutdown’s effects spread. Thousands of federal employees have been furloughed or forced to work without pay, airports and national parks have experienced staffing shortages, and vital programs have slowed down. The longer the impasse continues, the greater the impact on the economy and public trust in government institutions. ### Common Questions People Are Asking **Why is Chuck Schumer blocking bills to reopen the government?** Schumer believes that some Republican proposals would set harmful precedents or include spending priorities that Democrats cannot accept. He argues that approving narrow funding bills without addressing broader issues would weaken his party’s negotiating position and fail to protect key programs. **Is Chuck Schumer responsible for the shutdown?** Responsibility for the shutdown is shared among multiple political actors. Schumer leads the Senate Democrats, but the crisis is the result of deep disagreements between both parties and the executive branch. Each side blames the other for refusing to compromise, making it difficult to assign blame to a single person. **How long has the shutdown lasted, and what are its effects?** The shutdown has lasted several weeks, with repeated failed votes in the Senate. Many government employees remain unpaid, public services are delayed, and agencies are struggling to maintain operations. The longer the situation drags on, the more serious its social and economic consequences become. **Will Schumer negotiate a deal to end the shutdown?** Schumer has expressed willingness to negotiate, but he insists that any deal must be fair and include reasonable compromises. Whether an agreement can be reached depends on political calculations, the willingness of both parties to make concessions, and the overall public pressure to restore normal government functions. ### Outlook for the Coming Weeks The future of the shutdown depends on how the political negotiations evolve in the coming days. Schumer’s leadership will continue to be a decisive factor. If Democrats and Republicans can agree on a short-term funding bill that avoids controversial policy changes, the government could reopen soon. However, if both sides continue to hold firm to their demands, the shutdown could extend even longer. In many ways, this crisis reflects the broader state of American politics—highly polarized, deeply divided, and driven by competing visions of how the government should serve its people. Chuck Schumer’s role in this standoff highlights the difficult balance between standing firm on principles and recognizing the urgent need to keep the government running. The outcome of this confrontation will not only affect federal workers and public services but also shape the political landscape heading into the next election cycle.
By America today about a year ago in Confessions
The Weight of Labels
I did not get angry because I was attacked. I got angry because I felt invisible. That is what labeling does. It reduces a human being—a soul with thoughts, experiences, and convictions—into a set of categories that can be dismissed before they even speak.
By Peter Thwing - Host of the FST Podcastabout a year ago in Confessions
The Café That Waited for Her. AI-Generated.
Every morning at exactly 8:05, Adrian unlocked the doors of Café del Mare, a small seaside coffee shop in Lisbon that smelled like cinnamon and saltwater. He wasn’t the kind of man people remembered — quiet, polite, always writing in a notebook between customers.
By shakir hamidabout a year ago in Confessions
Secret Letter . Content Warning.
Humans are monsters. I remember my first scary movie being a Stephen King-esc one where a little girl is shot and carried into a plane while the monsters below eat the planet up whole. It had been several years since my brain surgery and in a much personal way, several months since my last Seer-ing experience I had with Lucifer.
By Parsley Rose about a year ago in Confessions
