Bad habits
Who Am I?
Who Am I?In the journey of life, we often encounter a deep, introspective question: "Who am I?" As we seek an answer, our ego frequently stands in the way, distorting our perception of reality. The ego, in essence, is an emotional veil, making us believe that we are the most important and that we are superior to others. However, when we take a step back and observe with a clear mind, we realise that there is no real 'I.' We are merely a small, yet significant, part of this vast universe.The ego is a construct of our thoughts and emotions. It convinces us that our existence is paramount. With achievements like wealth, success, and fame, our ego grows stronger, leading us to consider ourselves superior. We start looking down upon others, often failing to see their worth. Yet, this ego is like a balloon filled with air — one small prick of failure or a life crisis is enough to burst it. In a single moment, everything we built our sense of self upon can crumble.The great saints, like Sant Tukaram and Sant Dnyaneshwar from Maharashtra, India, lived their entire lives renouncing their ego. They consistently professed, "It is not I; it is only the Divine." For them, the 'I' was nothing; everything was the Divine presence. When we set aside our ego, we allow our inner self to connect with the divine. Through our actions, we become an instrument of a higher purpose. These saints placed immense value on humility, love, compassion, and service. They saw themselves as a medium for divine love and not as individuals seeking personal glory.The ego is the root of many problems in relationships. It creates distance, diminishes love, and gives rise to conflicts. In any relationship, if both individuals are constantly driven by the "I" and "You" mindset, there is no room for warmth or trust. The ego becomes a barrier to understanding and empathy. True love and harmony thrive only in the absence of ego, where there is a shared sense of 'We' instead of 'I.'If we want to experience the true beauty of life, it is essential to let go of the ego. Mahatma Gandhi once said, "I am nothing, and yet everything is me," and he lived by this philosophy throughout his life. By renouncing his ego, Gandhi dedicated himself to the service of society, fighting for justice through non-violence and truth. He understood that beyond the ego, we are all a small but vital part of the collective whole. Each of us can bring about positive change, extend a helping hand, and contribute to the well-being of others.When we are trapped in the illusion of the ego, we chase temporary satisfaction. The ego is driven by desires, envy, and a sense of lack. It makes us believe that we are separate from the world around us, creating a constant need to prove ourselves. However, when we relinquish the ego, we can experience unity with everything around us. Our connection with every element of nature, every person we meet, and every experience we have becomes profound and meaningful.Consider the example of a river flowing through various terrains. At some points, it is blocked by rocks, creating turbulence. The ego is like these rocks — it obstructs the natural flow of our life. But if we, like the river, allow ourselves to flow freely without clinging to our ego, we can navigate through any obstacles. We become more adaptable, resilient, and at peace with the journey.Letting go of the ego does not mean losing self-respect. There is a clear distinction between ego and self-esteem. Self-esteem is the recognition of one's worth and respect for oneself, while the ego is a misguided sense of superiority and a constant need to be right. While self-esteem empowers us to strive for personal growth, the ego leads us towards a path of isolation and conflict.Think of a great leader like Nelson Mandela. Despite enduring 27 years in prison, he emerged without bitterness or ego. He chose forgiveness over revenge and humility over arrogance. Mandela’s humility and self-respect helped him unify a divided nation. His life illustrates that true greatness lies in transcending the ego and embracing a higher purpose beyond personal glory.Similarly, the story of Mother Teresa is another shining example. She dedicated her life to the poorest of the poor, never considering herself superior or above others. Despite her global recognition, she remained humble, seeing herself merely as a servant of the people and God. Her lack of ego enabled her to connect deeply with those she served, offering love, compassion, and hope.We are all like droplets in the vast ocean of existence. Our individual identity may feel significant, but when we view ourselves as part of the whole, we see the beauty of the collective. The legacy we leave behind is not of our ego, but of our deeds, love, and the positive impact we create. Ego-driven actions are momentary and often forgotten, while actions of humility and service resonate for generations.In conclusion, the quest to answer "Who am I?" is not about inflating our sense of self but about realising our connection to the world around us. The true self is not defined by achievements, possessions, or external recognition but by our inner essence, which is pure, compassionate, and divine.The realisation of our insignificance in the grand scheme of things is liberating. It frees us from the constant battle of proving ourselves, allowing us to live with joy, compassion, and purpose. By transcending the ego, we can experience true fulfilment and inner peace.So, let us strive to dissolve the illusion of 'I' and embrace the oneness with all. Let us shift our focus from "Who am I?" to "How can I serve?" In doing so, we will find the true answer to the question and live a life of greater meaning and happiness.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
True Words and Masks"
"True Words and Masks" Some people have a strange habit—while they speak sweetly to your face, laugh with you, and treat you well, behind your back, they speak ill about you. Their sweet words, their smiles, and their kind actions build trust in your heart. But at the same time, you fail to realize the false pretence behind those sweet words. Those words make you believe in their sincerity, but behind your back, the same people are criticizing you. There is a terrifying contradiction in this behaviour. How can the very people who speak kindly to you also talk negatively about you when you're not around? When you trust them with your thoughts, your feelings, and the stories of your life, you feel that they truly understand you. But behind those sweet words lies hidden criticism. These masks they wear are invisible to you, yet they are there, and when they speak to others, those masks are put on, leading others to believe that you are somehow lesser. Sometimes, it feels as though in putting your trust in them, you have opened up your heart and shared everything about yourself—your vulnerabilities, your past, and your struggles. But for them, this becomes a burden. You think they understand you, but their heart is not in those sweet words. Instead, they are plotting your downfall in a hidden and manipulative way. You don't see it, but that's their strategy. Their goal may be to demean you, create doubts about you in others' minds, or even shake your self-esteem. What can be done in such situations? The truth is, their words should not have any power over you. Instead of being swayed by their sweet words, it is essential to recognize their true nature. What matters most is that you stay true to yourself in your actions and your speech. Live a life rooted in honesty. Don't allow anyone's words to undermine your worth. Your value should never be determined by someone else's deceitful behaviour. In the end, remember this—there are always people who try to deceive with sweet words and gentle behaviour. But the truth behind those words, the hidden pain, will eventually be revealed. In life, true friends and honest words are what anchor us. While others' gossip and slander may hurt, it is how we face this pain and uphold our self-respect that truly matters. True love, genuine actions, and truthful words are what define our existence. Stay away from those who speak sweetly to your face but criticize you behind your back. Being in the company of such people is like engaging in deceit. How you present yourself to others should reflect your true self, not a mask. Never allow anyone to diminish your self-esteem. Example of Deceptive Behavior Imagine you have a colleague at work. This person is always friendly and speaks highly of you when you're around. They laugh at your jokes, share in your success, and you believe they are a supportive friend. You confide in them, tell them your personal struggles, and ask for advice, thinking they will always be there to guide you. But as soon as you leave the room, this same colleague turns to others and spreads rumours about you. They make fun of your decisions, criticize your work, and undermine your efforts. You don’t realize it, but they are slowly building a negative image of you among others. What’s worse, the next time you speak to them, they act as if nothing is wrong, still smiling and comforting you. This is the power of the mask—behind the warmth and sweetness, there lies a hidden agenda. You are left wondering why they behave this way, but the answer lies in their self-interest. By talking down about you to others, they may seek to elevate themselves or gain favour from others at your expense. The sweetness is merely a tool to gain your trust, while the criticism is used to control the narrative behind your back. How to Handle Such People When faced with such individuals, it is crucial not to internalize their false words. Recognize the deceit, not just in their words but also in their actions. These people do not respect you, and no matter how sweet their words may sound, they are not sincere. Do not let their falsehoods affect your self-worth. You must learn to distance yourself from people who wear masks, who speak with two faces. Surround yourself with those whose words and actions align, those who value you not just to your face but in your absence as well. True friends are those who defend you, not those who build themselves up by putting you down. Life is filled with challenges, and sometimes the people we trust the most end up betraying us. But this is a reality that we must face. By embracing our own worth and staying true to our principles, we can protect ourselves from those who seek to harm us with their lies. Let your actions speak louder than their deceitful words, and remember that no matter what others say, your value is defined by your own integrity. So, the next time you encounter someone who speaks sweetly to your face but criticizes you behind your back, remember to see through their masks. Stay true to yourself, uphold your self-respect, and continue on your path with integrity. The true power lies in honesty and authenticity, not in the masks that others wear to d
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
The Dark Side of Self-Help: What You Need to Know for Balanced Personal Growth
A life of empowerment, prosperity, and unending personal development is what the self-help sector promises. Self-help can be found everywhere, from affirmations and social media to motivational books and courses. However, there is a darker side to the self-help industry that is rarely talked about: pressures, irrational expectations, and myths that can cause stress and disappointment rather than fulfillment.
By aspire ᰔ academy2 years ago in Confessions
"Who Am I?" - The Illusion of Ego
"Who Am I?" - The Illusion of Ego The question, "Who am I?" is a timeless and profound query that every human being contemplates at some point in life. It's not just a philosophical question but a reflection of our innermost thoughts and existence. In seeking its answer, we are often hindered by our ego, a part of our psyche that shrouds our true self in layers of illusion. The ego, in essence, acts as a protective emotional shell, giving us a false sense of identity and importance, making us feel superior to others. But when examined closely, we realise that this notion of "I" is nothing but a mirage, a fleeting concept that does not define our true being. In reality, each of us is a small yet integral part of a vast, interconnected universe.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
People Aren't Foolish, Just Quiet!
People Aren't Foolish, Just Quiet! Some folks have a peculiar habit of constantly exaggerating their own importance. Their life seems like a never-ending drama where they are always the lead character. Their language is consistently self-centric: "He said that to me," "He does it only because of me," or "If I don't say this, I'll be out of the group." These individuals are always looking for ways to make themselves appear larger than life. Listening to their fabricated stories, people around them get a clear view of their true personality, but no one says anything in response. Such people are always haunted by one thought: that they are not as important as they would like to be. So, they constantly need to prove that they are the centre of everyone's universe. They fear that if they don't constantly praise themselves, others might perceive them as less significant. Their self-confidence is entirely dependent on external validation. Hence, they are always eager to hear compliments about themselves from others. Do you know what? Everyone recognises these types of people. Every person sees through their facade and understands the real reason behind their behaviour. But these self-important individuals believe that their act is fooling everyone. In reality, people listen to their exaggerated self-praise, nod in agreement, and then quietly laugh to themselves. This laughter isn't because they admire them; it’s because they find the person’s need for constant validation amusing. Deep down, these individuals are incredibly insecure. This insecurity pushes them to constantly try and prove themselves. They believe that without this self-promotion, no one will value them. Their self-esteem is built on a foundation of false stories and self-praise. To tell the truth, these people are often sad and lonely inside. They need to constantly inflate their sense of self-importance because they lack genuine self-belief. The people around them are fully aware of this. Others aren't foolish—they're just quiet. They choose not to say anything because they know that if they confront these individuals with reality, it could further unsettle their already fragile state of mind. Unbeknownst to them, people understand them deeply. These self-important individuals never realise how embarrassing their false stories and exaggerated importance appear to others. People may laugh at them, but it’s because of their fake stories and inflated sense of self. Others don't call them out because they know that this false sense of grandeur is the only balm that soothes their inner wounds. In reality, true importance lies in our actions and character. It’s not what we say about ourselves that matters, but what we do. When someone acts with humility and genuine effort, people recognise and respect them for their true worth. So, for those who constantly spin false tales to boost their own importance, it's worth taking a moment to look inward. They should try to understand their real worth, which will be proven through their actions. And the rest of society already knows this simple truth—people aren’t foolish; they’re just quiet observers. To truly grow in stature, one must keep their heart and soul genuine. It’s not through false stories or self-praise that we become significant, but through our actions and humility. False grandeur is fleeting, but true deeds are timeless, and it is these deeds that establish our true importance in society.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
"It Takes a Big Heart to Apologize"
"It Takes a Big Heart to Apologize" No matter how much a person learns in life, there are two things that take a long time to master: forgiving others and apologising. For this, one needs a big heart. Apologising means acknowledging one’s mistake or putting one’s pride aside to respect the emotions of the other person, in order to preserve the relationship. Not everyone can do this, because it requires a big heart and, even more, a compassionate heart that understands others’ feelings. The person who apologises even when they are not at fault is truly considerate. Such a person values relationships over ego. They understand that a simple word—“sorry”—can heal many things, clear up misunderstandings, remove bitterness in relationships, and bring a new bond of love to the connection. When we were young, our parents taught us, "Apologise if you make a mistake," but as we grow older, amidst the hustle and bustle of life and the fog of ego, we often forget this lesson. Caught under the weight of ego, a person begins to feel that apologising is a sign of weakness. But true greatness lies in setting aside one’s ego and respecting the feelings of others. Once, something like this happened. There were two friends, very close to each other. One day, due to some reason, they had an argument. The argument created tension in their relationship, and they stopped talking to each other. One friend wasn’t at fault, but still, he went to the other and apologised. In the eyes of the friend who apologised, there was an innocence, a sense of humility. His heart was pure because he wanted to mend the relationship. His apology removed the anger from the other friend's heart, and their bond became stronger again. Through this act, he showed that apologising even when not at fault is, in fact, a symbol of true greatness. In our everyday lives, we often see people apologising even when they haven’t made a mistake. That apology reflects the greatness of the relationship and the person. When we apologise, we put our ego aside and give priority to the relationship, even if we aren’t in the wrong. This kind of greatness is found only in those with big hearts. A person who apologises when they are not at fault is truly considerate of others. They understand that their one apology can remove anger, hurt, and tension from another person's heart. This understanding sets them apart from others and makes them truly great. Apologising does not signify weakness; it is a sign of greatness. It frees a person from their ego and brings a new blossom of love into relationships. A person who apologises to preserve a relationship is truly demonstrating compassion and dedication to maintaining the bond. There are many moments in life when we need to apologise. Sometimes, it is hard for us to do so because our ego comes in the way. But when we set our ego aside and apologise, we strengthen the bonds of our relationships. That is why the person who apologises even when not at fault is truly great. They don't just safeguard their own feelings but also protect the emotions of the other person. This person doesn’t allow ego to take precedence in relationships but instead prioritises love, warmth, and humanity. If everyone in this world learned to set aside their ego and apologise, many problems could be resolved. Therefore, apologising is the mark of a big heart, and the person who apologises even when not at fault is truly considerate and great in spirit.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
Man is a product of his nature.
It is not surprising that one of us eats some of the available foods that he is accustomed to eating, in order to stay alive; because he sees it as a necessity, an essential matter and a condition for the continuation of his offspring on the face of the earth. This floating planet that embraces in its bowels a variable element like the rest of its components, but he may not realize that this process that he is doing is only a link in the links from which and on which all existing living beings live.
By Kisama Riyo 2 years ago in Confessions
Accept Me Maybe?
When I was in my twenties, I dated a woman that liked to criticize how I looked, how I acted, the things that I liked to do, and who I surrounded myself with. It was weird. How could someone want to be with you when they didn’t seem to like anything about you? I didn’t really know how to take her judgement back then. I thought that she was right. I figured that I was still young and still had room to grow and she was trying to mold me into what I needed to be in order to have a longterm relationship. I mean, no one is perfect, and it does take two people to make a commitment work. So, after listening to her critiques, I did my best to accommodate her needs. I tried to be more open about where she went, even if it meant that she was going to her ex’s house. I tried to get along with her friends, even the ones that seemed to be addicted to substances that I had never heard of until then. I even tried to fit in with the personalities of the people that she surrounded herself with. It was very uncomfortable. I always felt like I was being judged, and when she lectured me, telling me that I was too standoffish, I felt back, because I didn’t want to make a bad impression on the people that were close to her. I went through about four years of this before I called it quits. I was tired of standing on eggshells. I was tired of not feeling like I could be myself, and I was tired of being criticized for who I was. I wanted to know who I was, and I wanted someone to like me for that. I was tired of people telling me who I needed to be or blatantly misinterpreting what my wants and needs were. I was ready to speak for myself and be who I was without having people who didn’t like that in my circle. So, after breaking up with her, I cleaned up my physical appearance. I wore the clothes that I wanted to. I got my hair done, and I basically cleaned up my outer appearance to what I wanted it to look like. I still wasn’t completely myself after this. I still didn’t know who I was or what I wanted, so I began making new friends and having new experiences. I went out and did things that I hadn’t in the past, like trying improv or driving halfway across the country to see all of the states that I hadn’t before. Then, when I met my soon to be wife, I started to let my guard down a little. She wasn’t like any of the other women that I had dated. She didn’t tell me how to dress or act or who to hang out with. She didn’t restrict my ability to do the activities that I wanted to do. She just let me be myself, and she loved who I was. This was new for me. I wasn’t used to being around a person that fully accepted me for who I was. I didn’t understand that concept as I had never experienced it. It was such a breath of fresh air. After meeting my wife, I was more confident in who I was and I learned more about my wants and needs, because she gave me the room to grow. She allowed me to explore whatever I needed to in order to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. She supported me on this journey, even when there were barriers, and after being around a person like her, I realized that there were people that I could be around without having to change a thing about mysel
By Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue2 years ago in Confessions
Beware and Look Around!
Everyone has a bad day. I’ve had my share, but the older that I get, the more that I realize that there is always someone that is facing harder circumstances than I am. For instance, I thought school was pretty hard. I didn’t really fit in, and I didn’t really feel like I was a part of anything. I felt pretty insignificant. Because of this, I had a hard time connecting with other people later on. I was used to being judged, so I instantly figured that everyon that I met was judging me. I was used to being bullied, so I expected it. When I was about nineteen, one of the friends that I did have when I was in high school went to college and got a roommate. My friend wanted me to meet this guy, so I did. The guy that I met was nice. He was different from the guys that I grew up with, and he wasn’t as harsh on others as most people that I knew. This new guy started telling me about how he grew up. He had cerebral palsy, so he had a lot of struggles when he was younger. Mobility was one of them. So, while I was worried about making new friends, he was worried about if he would be able to walk. Then, the new guy told me about how nice everyone was to him in school and about his dreams to be a wrestler. He knew that having cerebral palsy affected the possibility of his dreams and instead of getting all upset about it, he made it work for him. Since he couldn’t wrestle right away, he became an announcer, so he could be a part of the sport that he loved so much. Instead of getting jealous of the other people that were able to participate in the dream sport he so much wanted to be a part of, he became friends with them. He tried not to let his struggles get him down, and he did the best that he could to be a part of the sport that he loved. As I got older, I met several more people just like this guy. I met someone my age that lost his sibling due to addiction. I met a single mother that got pregnant at an early age and had to suffer the loss of the baby’s father. I even followed the story of someone that I went to school with as she suffered a miscarriage. All of these people touched my life in a way. It helped me remember that despite the struggles I was going through, there were other things out there that people were enduring that were just heartbreaking, and knowing that these people were able to get up every day and do what they needed to do, helped give me the motivation to do the same. Life isn’t perfect. We all have struggles, and being there to witness other peoples’ struggles and help them if you can puts life in perspective. There might be a day where everything seems to go wrong and everything seems crazy and chaotic, but if you look to your left or your right, you might realize that someone else is going through a situation that is ten times worse than what you are. At least I did, and that made me more appreciative of my circumstances. I’m thankful that I was born in a country with clean and available water. I’m thankful that I have a right to an education, and I’m thankful that I have the ability to choose who I marry or who my friends are. Some people don’t even get these basic rights.
By Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue2 years ago in Confessions
"I Am Good if the World is Good"
"I Am Good if the World is Good" The phrase "I am good if the world is good" reflects a universal truth: our actions, attitudes, and behaviours are often influenced by our surroundings. If we find ourselves in a world that is kind, compassionate, and supportive, we are more likely to mirror these qualities. This is a powerful idea rooted in the interconnected nature of human existence, where our individual goodness often reflects the collective goodness we experience. However, the journey to understanding this concept is complex, involving both the warmth we receive and the darkness we face in the world. Imagine a child growing up in a loving and caring family. This child is likely to develop empathy, kindness, and a positive outlook on life. Their perception of the world is shaped by the nurturing environment they experience daily. For instance, when a parent shows patience and forgiveness, the child learns to be patient and forgiving in return. This is because children are like mirrors; they reflect what they see. When surrounded by goodness, they naturally radiate it back into the world. On the other hand, if we grow up in a hostile or harsh environment, our ability to remain kind and good may be challenged. A person who has faced betrayal or cruelty might develop a defensive attitude, finding it hard to trust or be good to others. This does not mean that the person is inherently bad, but rather that their experiences have influenced their outlook on life. It takes great strength and resilience to maintain goodness in a world that may not always reciprocate it. A powerful example of this can be seen in the life of Nelson Mandela. He was imprisoned for 27 years under apartheid in South Africa, a system that was rooted in racial injustice and discrimination. Despite the cruelty he faced, Mandela chose the path of forgiveness and reconciliation. Instead of harbouring bitterness, he extended a hand of friendship to his former oppressors. Mandela's choice to be good, even when the world around him was harsh, became a beacon of hope and showed the world that goodness can prevail even in the darkest of times. He became an example of how individual goodness can transform the world, even if the world initially seems unkind. Similarly, in our daily lives, we often encounter people who reflect the goodness they receive. Consider a person who has been helped by a stranger during a time of need. Perhaps they were stranded on a road and someone offered them a ride. This simple act of kindness can leave a lasting impression. It may inspire them to help others in similar situations, creating a ripple effect of goodness. They were good because someone was good to them first. It is a cycle of positive energy that keeps going as long as we contribute to it. However, this concept also presents a challenge: if our goodness is conditional upon the world being good, then what happens when we encounter negativity or cruelty? Should we still be good if the world is not good to us? This is where the true test of character lies. Many times, life throws us into situations where it feels like the goodness around us has vanished. In those moments, it becomes our responsibility to decide whether to mirror the negativity or to rise above it and continue being good. A poignant example of this can be seen during natural disasters. When floods, earthquakes, or other calamities strike, we often witness two types of reactions. Some people take advantage of the chaos, hoarding resources or raising prices. But many others step up to help, showing incredible acts of kindness and generosity. Volunteers risk their lives to save strangers, communities come together to provide food and shelter, and individuals donate whatever they can to assist those in need. Even when the world appears dark and unforgiving, there are always those who choose to be good, reminding us of the power of compassion. The idea that "I am good if the world is good" suggests a reciprocal relationship, but it also hints at a deeper truth: our goodness should not be entirely dependent on external factors. While it is true that a positive environment encourages positive behaviour, we also have the power to be the source of that goodness. If we wait for the world to be good first, we might be waiting forever. Instead, we can choose to be the goodness we wish to see in the world. Think of the small acts of kindness that often go unnoticed but have the power to change someone's day. A smile from a stranger, a helping hand from a co-worker, or a kind word during a tough time—these are the little sparks that can ignite a fire of goodness. When we choose to be good even when the world isn't, we set an example for others. Our goodness can become the catalyst that inspires others to be good too, creating a chain reaction that can transform the world, one act at a time. The story of Mahatma Gandhi also beautifully illustrates this concept. He once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi believed in responding to violence with non-violence and hatred with love. Even when the world was filled with conflict and injustice, he remained steadfast in his goodness. His actions inspired millions to follow the path of non-violence, showing that a single individual’s commitment to goodness can influence the entire world. In conclusion, the saying "I am good if the world is good" reflects the dynamic interplay between our environment and our actions. It is easy to be good when surrounded by goodness, but the true test lies in maintaining our goodness even when the world seems unjust or harsh. The real strength of character is shown when we decide to be good regardless of the circumstances, acting as a source of light in the darkness. Our world is a mirror of our collective actions; if we want to see more kindness, compassion, and goodness around us, we must start by embodying these qualities ourselves. Let us strive to be good, not because the world demands it, but because it is who we choose to be. And in doing so, we might just inspire others to reflect that same goodness, creating a world that is good for all.
By Dipak Pawar2 years ago in Confessions
Fear Factor
Understanding Fear: A Complex Emotion and Its Impact on Our Lives Fear is one of the most basic and powerful human emotions. It can grip us unexpectedly, causing heart-pounding anxiety or an overwhelming sense of dread. From childhood fears of the dark to adult anxieties about the future, fear is an emotion we all encounter. But fear is not just a reaction to external threats—it’s deeply ingrained in our biology and psychology. It shapes our thoughts, behaviors, and decisions, sometimes in ways we don’t even fully understand. This article will explore the nature of fear, how it functions, its impact on our lives, and how we can manage and overcome it.
By FRANCIS IKEGBUNAM2 years ago in Confessions
