Switching Schools

I have always been brilliant. I have also struggled to learn effectively, though. After grade school, I could improve my grades and succeed in my work. I had been sent to a small Christian school, and I was doing very well. Learning became more manageable, and I became comfortable with my classmates. Also, I had the best grades in my grade level.

My small class was a joy; I have been with the same kids for years. I was well known for being at the top of the class of just three. There was a girl who was still smart but under my grades and a boy who could care less about his. I was comfortable and familiar with the more difficult classes.

I have finally fit in, which is very difficult for me since I have found that nowhere else. Some friends were formed even in the other classes. The close, tight community was friendly, with fewer kids per class. Each year was not easy, but I could master my classes. I was also doing well in sports and plays. The teachers all knew that I was happy. My identity was in my intelligence and my ability to easily pass.

My parents started conversing about us moving schools to a closer Christian school. I did not want to go since it was my junior year coming up, and I was doing well. It was a rival school, and I would have to be in a larger class. Visiting the school was pleasant, but I only felt accepted after some time. The ones in my class were trying, but I was already halfway through high school. Despite all my dread, my parents moved my siblings and me to the new school. Nothing has been the same since.

The new school was an adjustment. I have known my former classmates since grade school, and my hate has changed. They were nice enough, and a new set of teachers was a new challenge. I was somewhat accepted since they had been in the same class for so long. The lectures were more complicated, and my grades dropped significantly. I was still on a good average, though. It was a growing experience when things just did not get better. I was doing fine in most subjects except for French class. I was low on that, and the grade dropped from my last school. I was at the top or middle of my classmates with lower marks. It was also more prominent in student enrollment, and I had more competition for other roles, such as the plays. I was the main character at my last school, but this one was worse. After being an extra for my previous two years with no way to move up. High school was difficult enough to go through, and trying to make new friends was always complicated for me. I had a few successes but still made it through to the end.

I have always enjoyed sports, but my first school would let me play a little. The following school was much worse. I was bound to the bench as I find myself in life even today. One coach only let me play in JV when seniors were supposed to be on varsity. Looking around, I had more exciting thoughts than paying attention to the games themselves. Softball was the best, but only a little.

I was trying to improve, but with no game experience, my development could have been better. I felt so worthless in my efforts; practices were just there for exercise. My skills were low, but I needed help to become better. I did attempt to play volleyball, basketball, and softball. I was allowed to play some time as a catcher, but that was taken away in college. It did not help my academic or social fiascos as well.

My art was alright, but it does pass as something. I also tried my best, but there was barely anything there either. My limited success in the art shows could have been more encouraging. I did one with well-done eagles, but the simple color the judge could not bear. It seemed even in that realm fell with my grades. I had been involved in many groups, yet nothing ever really came of it. It seemed like I was still going nowhere fast, and constant reminders I could not succeed. Even today, my mom kept my art, which I dare not show to others.

I still had enough to make low As. I made a few friends and others that did not like me either. I was considered the third-in-line snitch for the principal. I never did tell much, but the top two were the top ones in the class reporting. It was a different world and taught me how things operated. There were fun times and times that depression did happen. My younger sister had an easier time since she had a longer time with her class. It was educational and yet the doom that would follow me for the rest of my life. I often wondered about my intelligence; others felt they needed to be more innovative. It was not the worst I would walk through, but it was a taste of the reality of life.

Through it all, I learned important life lessons that are affecting me to this day. The hardship of trying with little to no success was a precursor to things to come. I keep up with some of them from my class, but most have moved on. I wished we moved schools sooner so I could have more time with my classmates instead of just two years. Even if the cold reality could have waited till college and given some happiness through high school. Well, that is where life leads sometimes, despite gaining some of my confidence back in community college. I lost it in the four colleges where I was in the same situation. I know I am intelligent, but it is challenging to feel it when everything is going in a different direction. Struggle will always come, but I keep my head up to fight another day. Life will never be fair, and believing in yourself will get you through.