Survivors and Victims

"Everyone has their own way to define things. Some definitions come from different sources, such as the bible, or a dictionary. There are some words that people dumb-down to make it simpler for those who are considered not as smart. There are many words that the meaning has been changed over the years to suit the world today. There are a few words that have multiple meanings. But there are two that hold should hold a special place, but are often overlooked. Survivor. Victim. It seems simply impossible to define survivor without victim.

Survivor has many meanings, especially since the popular television show came out a few years back. The word should mean something like whatever a person has gone through, they’re coming out on top. It doesn’t mean that the temptations of the past are gone, by no means has something that was second nature become less of a part of their life, it means that they have stopped whatever terrible habit they used to. The struggle hasn’t become any less, but they are fighting their demons, and they haven’t given up. They fight for what they want. The person hasn’t stopped living. They are going on with their life.

On the other hand, victims are the weaker variety of people. Victims allow their lives to be meaningless. They allow the pain and distress to get them down. The victims of this world don’t fight, they allow themselves to be pushed down, to be trampled on and then they beg for attention and complain that they have been pushed around. From personal experience, I used to be a victim. I used to have daily pity parties, and beg for someone to help me, when I wasn’t ready to be saved. There is a massive difference between who I was last year and who I am today. Last year, I used to cut myself and hide away from anyone who wanted to help me, but I wanted to thrive upon the drama I caused, and all the things I was doing back then, I would glamourize them to my friends, saying that was the best thing for me and that I didn’t want help.

Really, I wanted my father to notice that he and his wife’s actions were hurting me. I was a grade-A victim, and I thought there was no salvation for myself.

I became a survivor around the time I moved out of my dad’s house. I decided to face my demons and become a better person. That was when I truly tested my limits and made it through the hardest time. I learned that survivors ask for help when they need it, and they will bite back pride and find a way to the other side. Survivors were once victims, and they don’t deny any of their past transgressions and issues. They own up to whatever their personal hell was, and tries to help people who have gone through similar things.

The dictionary defines the word “victim” as a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency. That is exactly what I was. I felt wronged by everyone and everything. I will admit, I was handed a bad card in life. Until I got out of a toxic environment, I didn’t start truly living. And anyone who went through a bad time, but didn’t get out of that, they aren’t truly living.

On the other hand, survivor is described as a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks. That is a person who has truly lived. That is the kind of person who knows what they need out of life to get by. That is the kind of person I am and I fight to be every day. My idol, Cherie Currie, can also say that she is a survivor. She lived through drug addiction, being thrown around on tour, sexual abuse from random men and her boss, having her family crumble, and almost losing contact with her twin sister. I made up my mind last June that if Cherie Currie could do that, I defiantly could, too. If she lived through all of that, then I could stop cutting, I could stop the cycle of emotional abuse my father had installed in both me and my brother. I know I can’t take all the pain away, but I can ask for help and learn to cope with my pain.

Despite all the pain and suffering I have personally went through, I know that I can live a normal life. I don’t know what will happen in my future, but when I victimized myself, I would have never considered what I have as options now. I can finally be at peace with myself in a way. I may not be able to forgive what has happened to me and the person that hurt me all in one day, but I can learn to forgive myself for what I did wrong. No matter what happens in life, there is always a bright side. For every survivor in this world, there is also a victim who has experienced a piece of the world that isn’t so pretty."

I was freshly eighteen when I wrote this. I got an A, and I was the only person in my class with a score that high. This essay got my accepted to a college. This essay really was advice from my higher self. I was always so proud of this essay, so proud that I wanted to share this with the world.