Smokey Dusk

I don't know why but I wanted to continue on writing about some of my plans. If I am completely honest, when people talk I don't usually get a word in since I have been trained since I was young just to listen.

I don't think I got high at all, but at least my headache is gone.

I am listening to a tarot video that is more calm. My mom is just talking about my brother with my cousin, like always. I really hate how "normal" or just boring their conversation is. It is the same story over and over and over and over and over and over. I am surprised they haven't gone crazy themselves. I guess it just shows that they like their plain lives so much.

I have a date with some cats down the road. I saw princess the other day, she ran to me and I was really happy. They even have started coming to the house in the evening despite all living like 4 blocks away.

Perhaps I should go to my aunts because my mom decided to diss her constantly. I did tell my brother I sort of was avoiding her since his ex wife is a bit psycho right now and my aunt is able to talk sense into people when she decides to.

I really want weed again. I haven't smoked in a whole month. I feel like it would be useful for me right now, but I maintain that I should only use it if I have a plan to do something. I don't like to waste the high on just sitting around.

Someone offered me cocaine the other day but I refused. I think I was getting on my dad's frequency since I actually do miss him.

I am really happy I didn't use it since it goes through the nose and I have a very sensitive nostrils. Plus, who knows on what sort of crazy spree I would've gone on. I probably would've burn the house down or something stupid like that. I think the most important thing and what the " drug dealer " was telling me is that " We all are looking for clarity. "

I guess we all find it in different places...

Luckily now that it is night I feel a whole lot better from the stomach ache and headaches I was going through all day.

Listening to tarot I feel more connected to some new people. I got rid of some of the more toxic ones from my playlist so I feel it is a nice fresh slate.

Unfortunately I think it had to do with the mercury transits which fucks everyone up in some way or another.

I need to go groccery shopping tomorrow since we have no juice in the fridge. Hell, we don't got a lot of things in the fridge actually, but since I am on a diet I don't mind it too much. We're still eating and there is plenty of water to drink.

I miss juice though. I think that is a small addiction of mine. I heard from my mom that my brother has some crazy ideas but I think it is due to the isolation of living with grandma.

I really need to get dressed and interact with the cats. They are my only friends right now. I love the street cats. Maybe it is because I identify as a Lyran starseed? ( apparently they're cat aliens or something )

Either way, maybe I'll wait until tomorow to buy some chicken so I can feed them it.