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Selling myself


By ChantelPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
Selling myself
Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash

Other then possibly selling myself off to a sugar daddy, my life has been fairly interesting! I have applied to a social club and have a panel interview on Thursday for the part-time engineer role of creating the events themselves and hosting at minimum 5 gigs a month.

I have been seeing a new man who just happens to have the same profession as me and according to the chinses zodiac signs, we are compatible as he is a boar and I am a bunny. I was not compatible with the previous UK guy and this one has never been in an official relationship before at the prime age of 27. Should that be a red flag? I haven't either, don't get me wrong, but I just lie and say that I have been. Cause all of situationships were basically like relationships, I just think we title things differently now. Or maybe I'm just stupid who knows.

He stares so intensiously sometimes that it just makes me uncomfortable. He cupped my face a couple of other times as well as looking at my lips when I talk and always talks about how he has been the more dominant one in a relationship. I've only dated sweet romantic men and have never had a successful relationship with a dominant man- typically cause our personalities would clash too much as I like my independence, but also like being treated as a Queen. Dilemmas.

He is exciting in the sense that we haven't done anything yet- not even kissed. We've held hands and cuddled watching a movie. My friend thinks we would have kinky sex, but I'm really not sure! I typically move slow now in relationships just because it takes time to trust men and also for me to be comfortable with them. Hence why I don't think I'd make a good sugar baby. I do find him very attractive and he can be a fun conversationalist, not sure yet if I prefer him or Fred.

Fred is sweet and also sexist. The fact that I even make the effort despite this man only bringing dick and cuddles to the equation amazes me. But its a reliable one pump that will make me come, so I stick by it.

I have to continuously learn otherwise I will get bored with life and a bored me is a menace to society. I like being creative! To top it off, I am actually hoping to brand myself to make a resume review business and to be able to hire a mentor to get it started. Maybe I will actually make a podcast/blog/videos and post them on LinkedIn! That would be super cool to see.

My best friend who is also a sugar baby wants me to accompany her on a trip to Chicago to visit a sugar daddy there in July. Will update if I decide to go or not!

I am looking forward to meeting up with my cousin next week, possibly meeting a SD for the first time, and getting that new role for the social club. To new adventures!

I made that draft a month ago. I did not go to Chicago, but I have booked a flight for Nashville, TN. I am no longer interested in Fred in all honesty. I have been giving short responses if any and I had gotten the ick from them constantly messaging me about every story I posted. I did accept that other hosting job, and need to fill out the paperwork for it.

Currently planning my first PPM for this Thursday and will probably sleep with the man if all goes well. Sugaring is work. I don't care what people say. Having to coordinate time to message them and screen through who you want to meet with, takes so much time. I've only made 100 so far from constant texting and calling.

There are times when I feel my sweetheart and innocent child-like self yell at me for participating in self-depricating acts like sugaring. The last time I had sex has pushed me to this limit. If I can have bad sex with anyone, I might as well get paid for it. I go on dates all the time with young men who frankly aren't worth my time and the sex has been really bad lately. None of them had been able to make me cum.

If this is the case, why save myself from sugaring? I might as well right? I am bored and upset with men my age. I want to be wined and dined and to have the extra income and not worry about them having to call/text me because it is an arrangement. A part of me is excited and nervous for all of it, while another part of me isn't and is scared for what the outcome of my feelings and self-worth will be after committing to this act.

I've always tried to guard my heart after being hurt so many times by going for sweet guys now. Sugaring will test that.


About the Creator


I range from social justice issues to sexuality articles, all depends on my mood.

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