Really, Vocal?

I hate these challenges. What a way to start the year! And I was so looking forward to writing something with the chance of a reward. But this? Not a chance.

These are the worst for me. The ones that require introspection and analysis. I just don't like them. I have a spark for other stuff that's proposed but when it comes to talking about me in terms of my writing on Vocal, I just don't have a voice.

I don't partake in the "Getting to know me" informal challenges. I'm not sure why. Time? Maybe. Harder to do? Probably. I'm not interesting enough. Certainly. I do love reading about everyone else though. I've always been nosey or inquisitive, shall we say. It sounds so much more educated and less intrusive.

Anyway, I am attempting to write something for this but I am doing it begrudgingly and I have no doubt that this is coming out in my tone. In fact, I'm just trying to get it out of the way so that I can carry on my streak of writing a microfiction story every day, which has been so enjoyable to date. If you hadn't made it so damn tempting with your quirky $2024 prize fund, I probably would have ignored this and not bothered.

So, I'm not sure what to say. I'm going to run through my thoughts in a pedestrian fashion and see what comes.

Firstly, I like writing. I think I'm getting better at it with every year and my confidence is growing and that is thanks to Vocal. I have a strange relationship with this platform as on some level, I struggle with the choices that it makes in terms of chosen Top Stories and some of the choices for Challenge winners but then, we all interpret writing in different ways and I have an opinion which may differ to others and I respect that. There are some, I am sure, who do not value my writing and I'm fine with that too.

And I have received Runner-Up plaudits so I shouldn't complain. That, in itself, is gratifying as it feels like a nod in my direction and I like that.

However, despite this prickle of disagreement, I love the fact that this place makes my work accessible and shareable and out there! I love writing and I love the fact that I now get to showcase my words with others. There is a kick in pushing the button to "Submit for Review" of which I never tire. Never will.

And it is so easy to do! So easy! Write and launch! It's bloody marvellous!

Do I wish my stuff had more readers? Yes. Yes, I do but I understand that people do not land on your words by accident, or rarely. This has to be orchestrated, cultivated and I'm not particularly good at this. It is also time-consuming and I have lots of faces in this life as Rachel Deeming and Vocal is just one of them. Sometimes, I have to put that mask down and become someone else for a bit. I don't always want to do this but I have to. People rely on me and I can't let them down. So writing has to come second. Or third. Or sometimes be written off altogether for a bit.

This makes me sad sometimes. I am brimming with ideas and constantly mull stories around and around in my head, like a psychedelic swirl of kaleidoscopic proportions; dialogue comes to me in fragments; I may hear a conversation and extract a snippet from it for a future story idea; I get inspiration from the dullest things like household objects all the time and really should jot ideas down as they come to me in my sleep, at work, while I'm writing sometimes. I'm lucky in this, I know and I wish that I had not let some of them go as now they will never come to fruition unless they return some day. I like the idea of that - that they've just gone away for a while:

"The timing wasn't right for us," the story said as it departed. "But we will meet again. I promise." The writer gazed after the story as it retreated, fighting back the swelling emotion and sniffed as it shrank, steadily becoming smaller until it was a dot and then poof! No more. Combatting tears, the writer could only hope that the story was right: that they would meet again and join together in a relationship filled with wonder and enlightenment. She wished it well and swallowed the guilt at knowing that it was doing this for her, the noble thing, recognising that it had to leave.

I hope they have not been lost in the ether that is my conjuring brain. I hope they are safe and not too unhappy at being neglected.

Vocal is my place to express. It is liberating here in so many ways. I get to be Rachel, the writer and I love that person. I get to indulge in detailed discussion with other writers and read insightful and imaginative work and offer support and get to share my understanding of the words of others. I get to chat and exchange witty banter with people who I have come to regard as friends. I like it when they drop by to my little corner and I like popping round to theirs. Hannah Moore likened it to chatting over the garden fence and I loved this comparison, like two old ladies in our curlers, gossiping and sharing a light word or two.

I have learnt so much from Vocal in terms of the work I've read but also in the subjects that Vocalists have chosen to write about. Such diversity! I love this. The communities that have been set up create breadth and I'm never going explore all of them. Never. Maybe I should make that a goal of this year? Na. I'll never fulfil it. That's a rabbithole of which I would never come back out.

But I love the fact that they are there if I want to enter them or write in them. And who knows? If there's one thing that I like to feel I embrace, it's challenge and change so writing about something new is there for the taking.

One of the things that I do know I will exploit fully is writing book reviews and I was so glad when this was offered on here as I had written reviews before but there wasn't really a niche in which to put them on Vocal. It always felt a little odd and that they were out of place; the wallflower at a party, wanting to join in but knowing that they'd look foolish or awkward. Or like they were skulking in a dirty corner, grubby-faced and unloved. I think this was more to do with the tags not fitting than anything but still, now, reviews have their place and I think this is great.

I might stretch to poetry analysis this year and publish some of that. I love explaining what I get from a poem and analysing the language. I get such a kick putting into my words what I think another writer means. It's like pieces locking together in a complex puzzle. A "Yes!" moment. The sparks of life.

But other than that, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. No plans for a book despite family members and friends suggesting it. I'm not ready for that. I like the freedom of shorts, which sounds like a suspicious advertisement for loose fitting underwear for males, but it is the truth. One day, I might want to write a sustained piece but not yet.

And in this, Vocal is my perfect partner because you like the pieces of me I give you. You like to put them on display, sometimes putting them into the limelight and letting them glow and I appreciate that. You don't want a big bulky installation project. No. You're happy with me just the way I am and I like that too.

So, more challenges please. But fiction or poetry or travel or literary or other? Just not reflection. No thanks.

Here's to a fulfilling and obligation free partnership, Vocal. Thank you for the opportunity and I look forward to us working alongside each other to publish good things (hopefully) in 2024.

Right. Now that one's out of the way. I can go back to my microfiction.

Thanks for stopping by. If you read this, please leave a comment as I do like to interact with my readers!