Parasocial Relationship Appeal

I have recently found myself in a parasocial relationship with an actor I love. I have followed and loved this actor for a while but never in my dreams imagined having somewhat of a direct access to him. It started innocently enough, he would go on live streams and I would tune in. I would sit back and watch as others typed comments and even confessed their feelings for him. As time went on and he started to stream more and more I found the courage to join in the fun and tell him how much I admired him. The rush of excitement I felt when he read my comment was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Now, I am no spring chicken and my fandom days are behind me, right? At least that is what I believed.

I try to remind myself that the person across the screen is a real person and he is simply connecting with people who like his work. That’s it, no more, no less. Yet, I find myself giddy with excitement every time my notification pops up. I’m also aware that the reason I absolutely love tuning in and stroking his ego is because this is a relationship I can manage. There is a screen between us, he cannot see me, I can only see him. He doesn’t know where I live, how old I am or what I do for a living. For someone like me this is a perfect relationship. I can also tune in when I want to and leave when I want to. I’ve done some research trying to find out if this is healthy or not. The results came back a bit mixed. It really does depend on each person and how they respond to this kind of relationship. I for one remind myself after every live stream that this whole situation is just innocent fun, it’s not a real relationship but just a gathering of like minded people. Kinda like a concert. But I cannot lie, my spirits are most definitely lifted each time I tune in. I reach the kind of positive vibration I would hope to have turned all day.

I’ve also noticed that this semi-private space where we all gather to admire and love our host, can be a very healing place. I find that many people share information that I suspect they don’t share anywhere else. From the comments I read I can tell some of the younger fans are looking for words of encouragement and support and they often find it in our small community. I’ve heard that things can sometimes turn toxic and aggressive with people using platforms to try and hurt the hosts, but in our little streams it has not happened yet, and hopefully they never will. As a fan of actors and films for a long time I believe that this kind of direct connection with their fans is something that is incredibly new and they try to manage it the best they can. We as fans are also experiencing something new and exciting along with them. I can’t imagine my favorite actors that are a bit older like Jack Nicholson, Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Oldman running a livestream back when they were younger. It would definitely have been something to see, I often daydream about it.

I can’t pretend this interaction doesn’t make my days a bit brighter, it really does. Getting to know someone I admire and getting to pick his brain at times is so incredible. Like I said for a person like myself who struggles with real relationships this parasocial relationship is the absolute best. I really doubt I will let anyone down in this relationship and this makes me happy. Who knows how long it will last, but for the time being I am enjoying myself.