Ok so I don’t know about you ladies out here, but when it’s almost that time of the month, I get pretty bloated, crampy, hungry, emotional, poopy and worst of all, gassy. I know I cannot be the only one haha. It was a Monday morning, around this time I was working early shifts so it was around 4 am at work, my job is to change the prices around the store, doing resets, checking for expired stuff, etc. So Mondays I typically do prices changes and when I do price changes I’m walking around a lot. nobody is there at 4 am besides the night stockers but they go on lunch around this time so the floor was free from people. Feeling extra gassy this fine Monday morning, I have to ask if you are familiar with crop dusting?? Well since no one was around and I walk around that’s what I was doing hahaha it’s horrible but come on, let’s get real everyone has done this. Sometimes I’m changing prices on the same aisle so I’ll be walking back and forth. I was on aisle 1 and I had to change a lot of prices on coffee and sodas, so I was walking up and down and let me tell you, it did not smell pretty. This is gonna sound gross but I like to smell my farts sometimes... gosh I can’t believe I’m telling you guys this I hope you guys never meet me in person ha. Anyways, I’m doing my job and there’s still some night stockers on the floor but in the frozen section, I go say hi to them, I’m literally friends with everyone at work. While I’m talking to them I feel my stomach just bubbling and I know I have to let one out soon so I cut the conversation short with my friend Isaiah and walk off quickly into the nearest aisle. *pffttt* they are silent but deadly. I go back to the grocery side and I’m in the candy/juice aisle, nobody is there and no stockers need to be on this aisle since it’s already done. I’m just letting them rip not a care in the world. All of a sudden, I hear my name and my coworker is running to me! I start to panic like “oh crap it smells like a rotten egg around me!!” At this point it’s too late for me to walk towards them and away from the smell, even if I did do that, I always read that farts follow you for about 30 seconds or something. Either way I would’ve been screwed. “Hey! Good morning I was looking for you to ask about this NIP (new items pog) to see if you could help me.” I’m literally looking at her nose and see her sniffing. I’m so embarrassed man and I know she knows that I know that she smells it. I just flat out say “I’m so sorry you had to walk into my fart.. I know it smells.” Just to skip all the awkwardness and just get it over with. Bursting into laughter she says “oh my gosh dude I didn’t want to say anything but it’s ok!! It does smell pretty bad though I’m not gonna lie to you.” I proceed to tell her that I get gassy before my period comes and she tells me she does too and she poops way more as well. So I go to help her on the NIP. Then go back to my work. It’s about 6:30 am now, still not many people in the store so I continue to dust the crop haha and this same coworker comes AGAIN. She’s halfway down the aisle this time I just yelled to her “dude I just let out a big one please don’t come over here it stinks!” She just turns around and walks back to wherever she came from. I’m literally shaking my head at myself like oh my gosh why. After some time where I felt comfortable enough to know I probably won’t fart anytime soon I go find her to see what she needed. This is the last time I crop dust. Next time I’m just gonna go to a part of the store nobody walks by or will find me. That part is in the back by the trash chute. It’s perfect, it already smells by it so you’ll never know it was me if someone were to come back there this early for any reason. I have other stories were I was embarrassed, like tripping over some boxes in front of a very cute overnight stocker left in the middle of the aisle. Or asking one guy how does he kiss and him laughing at me for even asking that. In my defense, I just wanted to know in case I tried sticking my tongue in his mouth and him pulling away like what the hell. He was younger than me not that much younger but I don’t know haha maybe he never kissed like that.. that’s embarrassing but that’s literally the only guy I ever asked how he kissed. The farting is more embarrassing. I’m glad my coworker was a girl as well and not a dude.
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.