Omission...

Everyone can be guilty of omitting things, even writers.

But I’m not talking about my writing life. Here, I feel more free to speak my mind. And I know many of you can relate.

I’m referring to my life away from the keyboard. The one that doesn’t have these platforms as a barrier to protect our hearts and souls.

Why is Omission an Issue For Me?

Oh, that’s easy: childhood trauma.

For much of my early years (4–8 years old), I was in foster care for events that I hope will never happen to you or your kids. 

And while being in a foster home wasn’t nearly as awful for me as it is for many others in my situation, it stuck a giant dose of trust issues into me.

Which I’ve carried into my twenties.

Often, I was scolded for speaking my mind or being myself, so I learned to hide aspects of myself from others, including how I was feeling at any given moment.

And despite the work I’ve done on myself to improve this, I still tend not to share how I’m actually feeling. It’s instinctual at this point, which isn’t helpful anymore.

How It’s Bitten Me in the Ass as an Adult

I’ve gotten in trouble a lot of times because I didn’t share something directly or waited until the last minute to do so.

And while I know more examples exist, I remember these the best.

My First Time Doing Weed

Now, this one hadn’t been an intentional omission from my mom.

So, I’d gotten high from an edible a friend gave me, and I ended up having a panic attack, which my stepdad calmed me down from.

But by the time she’d gotten home from work, the high had worn off, and it felt awkward to bring up something like that after the moment had already passed.

However, my friend bought it up later while hanging out at my house, which got me a ration of shit from my mom for not telling her earlier.

My December Trip, 2022

The first one that comes to mind is my not telling my parents about my first trip to Texas last year until a few days before I was supposed to leave for fear of their reaction.

Yes, I know I was in the wrong. And I’m pretty sure a pinch of resentment still lingers, at least from my mom.

My Oct-Nov Trip, 2023

I had written my piece, Wielding My New PS4, which got me into trouble with my mom.

I had made an observation about how my parents take up much of my time, and she took it as me being an ungrateful brat, which isn’t true, by the way. And I explained it to her.

I also wasn’t terribly communicative on Messenger, as I unintentionally ghosted a few people, which I think might have cost me a friendship. 

But honestly, that friendship was going nowhere anyway, and I didn’t feel terribly respected or heard.

Now, I’m relieved that I don’t have to worry about them anymore.

Learn From My Mistakes

Please, don’t do the same dumbass shit I have done. It will not work out for you if you omit things from those you care about.

Trust me, it’s easier just to be honest, even when it’s like pulling your own teeth out with rusty pliers. And when you’re terrified about their potential reactions.

Yes, the initial reactions may not be pleasant, but you won’t get the same resentment as you would if you kept it to yourself.

So tell them!

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