Insecurity, Anxiety, Uncertainty…

Yes, you read that right.

Despite the persona I might give off in my writing, I often feel these unpleasant emotions.

Right now, it is one of those times. And not just in one aspect of my life. But in several of them. Which sucks and is overwhelming.

So, I’m writing this post to alleviate some of these emotions and hopefully to help at least one reader and/or writer in a similar circumstance.

Because despite how it feels, you are not alone.

My Life

Is it me, or does everyone get this feeling that they’re coming up at a crossroads in their life at some point? Like something is growing, and it’s only a matter of time before something gives?

Well, I’ve been feeling this for months now, and the farther I go, the more anxiety and uncertainty build inside me.

Truthfully, I’d been feeling discontent with my life for a long time, but my trip to Texas last December peeled away a lot of things buried inside, so I could no longer ignore it.

Being away from my life for those two weeks opened my eyes and changed me. I realized I wanted more and better from my life than what I had.

Unfortunately, I’ve been stuck, unsure how to make these changes.

I don’t want a standard life, nor has that ever been in the cards for me. But I don’t know what to do right now, even after reading all these inspirational articles I see published.

But I am trying.

My Finances

I feel like I can never fully relax when it comes to money.

I’m not wealthy, not even close, but it is a goal I have for myself. Just not working a typical 9–5 job that I hate. I don’t want to be like my parents.

It’s one reason I chose to be a book editor/content creator. I have never fit into any societal mold. So why not stand out and do something that makes me happy and fulfilled?

Not to mention, every regular job I applied for led nowhere. Which I took as a sign that those were not meant for me. Or any ordinary job, for that matter.

But working for myself hasn’t been filling my bank account quite the way I’d hoped. I’m just glad I get monthly money from my annuity and live with my parents, or else I’d be screwed.

Content Creating

While I’ve earned some money, it isn’t the hundreds or thousands of dollars others make.

Mostly from Vocal bonuses and one $1 tip from a story. And small monthly amounts from reads on both Vocal and Medium.

These are the content creation platforms I’m on now:

• Vocal.Media
• Medium
• Substack
• Ko-fi
• Buy Me a Coffee
• Gumroad

And while I don’t want to beg you to help me because I know how desperate that is, I need help getting my head above these waters.

We all know how hard it can be to make a living as a content creator, so we should help each other.

I understand that many of you can’t afford to help out, literally. But for those who can, it will mean a lot to me if you do. And once I reach a stable place, I will pay it forward.

Freelance Editing

I’ve been freelance editing for over two years now, and while I have made some money and am proud of that, my workload and income aren’t very consistent, and I only have a few repeat clients.

I don’t know why either; I’m good at my job and have received praise from multiple clients.

Here are the places you can find me on:

• Freelancer
• Upwork
• Fiverr
• Gem In The Rought Editing (my website, which I recommend, my email posted on the contact me page)

So, if you need someone to edit your work, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

Beta Reading/Ghostwriting

I have also started to read and write people’s stories to earn additional income. I figured if I’m already doing these things, I might as well add them to my list of profitable skills.

While I just got my first beta reading gig, you can read about my first ghostwriting gig here.

Other Things

Some of the additional ways I’ve tried earning extra cash:

• Spreadshop
• Mercari
• House Cleaning
• Dog Sitting
• Affiliate Marketing via Amazon

My online merch store has yet to make a sale. And I haven’t gotten a commission from Amazon.

How I Have Held Up

It hasn’t been easy, but I don’t plan to give up. My goals are for the long haul, and I understood that when I started everything.

I’m also used to delayed gratification for many things in my life, such as waiting a few years for a birthday trip to Great Wolf Lodge. So, patience is a trait I must utilize to succeed.

However, I do activities that provide me instant gratification, like cleaning, trimming the various plants in our yard, or even diamond painting.

Believe it or not, it helps tremendously in keeping me from quitting my life’s goals; they are tasks I can complete quickly, allowing me to keep going on my long-term goals.

I recommend finding activities that do the same for you.

What Should You Take Away from This?

Things will be difficult, yes. You’ll want to give up many times on this journey.

But don’t.

The worlds of freelancing and content creation are long games. So, if you intend to play them, it’ll take a few years. But you will get there and be grateful you didn’t quit on yourself or your dream.

I know I will.

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