Officially Us

Does he think about me?

Am I still fascinating?

Sometimes I fear being too transparent, but I remember that, he loves and cares about me for me.

I appreciate our history.

How we shared what mattered.

The way it is so easy.

He listens to me.

My home.

My safety.

His music all communicates his sincerity.

What will I do when he asks to go out with me?

Officially?

Can I wear my green dress?

I’ve always loved dressing up to see him.

I miss that so much.

Especially now that I understand styles he likes.

It would make me so happy to surprise him.

Blow him away.

I laugh lightly, but he makes me so giddy.

I can’t deny my butterflies.

I pray he’s planning something.

I pray he thinks of me lovingly.

That he can’t take his eyes off of me. The way that last song expresses.

How it would be like heaven to touch me?

I’m dying to touch him.

To hug him.

Wrap my arms around his neck in my high heels.

To kiss him repeatedly, because I’ve missed him to pieces.

I miss him with all of me.

He has my whole heart.

I can’t deny the feeling.

That song says "I love you, baby".

Warmed my heart and shook me from the inside out.

Expressing intimate feelings does that to me apparently.

He’s so amazing to me.

He’s so patient with me.

He’s so considerate of me.

He’s so attentive.

He showed me his passionate side.

He showed me so many sides to him and I love his phases.

I love his ways, expressions.

I love his dedication in everything he does.

I love his determination.

So confident and a realist.

Where he is I’m praying to be soon.

To be everything.

To be what he wants.

To love him throughout this crazy life.

To inspire him.

To hold him when he’s down or stressed.

He posted about family this morning.

Whether intentionally or not, I’ve been thinking about him.

In more ways than one.

As a boyfriend and other titles/roles.

I talked to him about Thanksgiving.

It’s my favorite holiday.

I’m so thankful for him. He’s been my harvest.

He’s been my inspiration.

He’s been tough on me at times too.

I apologize, maybe he is going through some kind of a healing process?

I know I don’t want to bring any baggage from any of my past.

I want to start fresh.

I want a new opportunity with the man of my dreams.

It’s what I’m hoping for.

It’s what I’m praying for.

He’s my desire.

He’s my answered prayer.

I want to be his sushi roll, that video was so cute until the guy ruined it.

I’m dying to cuddle with him.

I’m praying I get to wake up to him someday.

It’s just that feeling of being with the person you love.

Your favorite person.

I pray he enjoys listening to my voice.

I’ve yawned by accident and made me think "oh well" because I feel like since he wants me, he may as well know what I sound like yawning.

I shrugged it off.

I can’t wait to see him again.

This time, smiling, because it’s due to other circumstances.

It’s not due to anything negative, but to a new beginning by his side.

Where I cling to him the way I used to.

Where I can flirt with him and watch him smile at me.

Where I can wear his T-shirt with his scent all over me.

It’s a girl thing.

When you love a man, you want to smell like him.

It’s the little things.

I want to watch the sunrise together on a Saturday morning.

I want to make parfaits, French toast, scrambled eggs or omelettes, with a side of beautiful flowers and coffee or baileys.

I want to follow where he normally jogs, one of the most majestic sunrises I’ve ever seen. I stole his picture of it and told him "sorry not sorry". I was joking of course, but his views are so perfect.

I talk about how I wish I could see him for a second.

I even cry about it.

But even I know, I want him way longer than that.

When we see other in the car, at least when I see or feel it’s him, my heart beats so fast. Adrenaline.

Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same.

I just think we’d make big trouble together.

I dream about that.

I have several times.

I think he would be such an amazing dad.

I’d love to talk about that stuff one day.

Like parenting styles and what we’d like to bring as far as practices and traditions.

I thank Hashem everyday for him.

I’m so thankful for the man that he is.

I couldn’t have asked/dreamt of a better man.

He’s it to me.

The same peace he gives me, I want to give him.

Missing him is not easy.

Especially because I have nothing holding me back, except for working on myself to blow him away.

I’m a big believer in being conservative in public and in private, imaginations can go wild.

It’s a girl thing.

I never liked girls that walk around with skimpy outfits. That’s their choice and maybe even due to trauma like a copping thing, you know?

It’s hard to judge everything nowadays, because we have to realize what we are is an effect of what happened with us.

I’ve never been physically abused nor sexually abused, so I can’t relate.

I have been mentally and verbally abused.

His patience with me, means so much to me. His presence means so much to me.

Demonstrations of his love and care, his sincerity means so much to me.

What I can relate to is, wanting to blow him away.

Leave him smiley and speechless.

I’m dying to get that stare again.

With new eyes.

Eyes of a woman that’s in love and free.

Thank You for setting me free Hashem.

Decided I’m going to focus on cycling, body sculpting, facials and lip scrubbing.

Whatever I can do, to feel beautiful, strong and feminine.

No other guy out there in the world compares to this man.

He imprinted on me a long time ago.

He is my whole heart.

Thinking about the future with him in it, makes me so happy.

I pray I don’t have any more crying outbursts. It isn’t intentional. It’s purely because I miss him so much and I don’t know what to do with all of this tears.

I’m praying he reaches out soon about us.

I want to be US. I want to listen to him call us "we", I can’t wait to be "we".

I love this man and I pray for him.

I pray he never regrets loving me.

He’s my Pooh bear, didn’t you know?

I can’t wait to call him these loving names.

I remember when he surprised me by speaking Portuguese.

His interest in my culture and country I will always appreciate.

I also love it when he’s patriotic like a proud American.

I want to kiss him so badly.

I’m so proud of him for taking care of himself.

I bet he’s staying hydrated.

It’s like we want to give each other the best versions of ourselves.

I love us the way we are, the way we were, the way we will be.

He’s my man in my heart.

I just want to be official.

My southern man.