Nymphaeaceae

I was twelve when I realized that there was a link between the Body and the Mind. The Body...or rather, MY body, was frail. Easily broken, scarred and scraped up from living in this world. My Mind on the other hand, was free. It was an intangible thing that no one could touch. I was free in my own head to wander wherever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to and my Mind could take my Body for the ride but never the other way around.

As I aged, I felt my Body grow until I was unfamiliar with it. There were new curves, new functions, just...new problems. I had no idea what to do with it. My Mind changed as well. Thoughts that I never had sprang into being, manifesting into toxic behaviors as I became addicted to the feelings brought on by the chemicals my Body could release in moments of highs and lows.

It wasn't until I had responsibilities to those outside of my Self that I realized how sick I had become from the poisons in my own Mind. The negative words, the shut downs, the living and breathing Hatred I had borne unto my own Self... All of that Anger at my own Self for BEING what I was born to be... It had made me sick and I was vomiting that energy to the ones around me who had tried valiantly to tell me how ill I was. I had unknowingly surrounded my Self with Love but I was induced with Self Anger and Self Hatred to see it.

I remember with such clarity how much I resented my Body. The changes, the weakness, and just the overall strangeness I felt. Then one day, I looked at Myself in the mirror. I gazed into my own eyes, saw the color of my skin, how my hair fell across my face, every mole, freckle and scar that I had earned and realized that this Body I resented was oh so precious for the time being.

My Body housed my inquisitive Mind and my wild Spirit. The anger I felt washed away, the resentment, the fear, the hatred... All of it. No longer would I be a stranger in my own Self. I would be my best friend, my biggest cheer leader, and the one who would care for it like the beautiful water lily it is.