My Sister, My Frenemy

We were told as little girls, our relationships with our sisters determine how we will interact with female friendships when we get older. If there is mistrust and jealousy with young girls, there will be mistrust and jealousy with women. I never used to believe that until my Lil sister started having an affair with my male friend behind my back. Do not get me wrong, this is not about him, per se. Men come and go; my sister is forever. He is nothing special and certainly not worth fighting over. It is about the trust I had for my sister. I never in a million years thought she would be the one to betray me. I never thought she would be the one to hurt me.

When I first had my suspicions about my sister and him, I could not wrap my head around her being that low-down and deceitful or him doing something so foul so close to my home. My sister was my best friend. I would have killed and died for her. And I really started to like him a lot. When a sister does something like that to another sister, it is not about love for him, or that she liked him, or was attracted to him, it is about an undercover resentment and jealousy toward the other sister. I never realized how much my sister resented me or harbored that much jealousy that she would exhibit it in that way. With all the men and women in the world my sister and he could have had, they chose each other.

Now that I know, I am sure they will both say it was a mistake and that they are sorry. My questions to them both would be: you both knew sneaking around behind my back was wrong, right? You both knew it would hurt me when I found out, right? Yet, you did it anyway, so how is that a mistake? And as for as you both being sorry, you are not sorry for what you did, you are sorry I found out. If you were truly sorry, the guilt would have made you stop after the first time, but the fact that you continued for nearly a year—sorry is off the table.

My sister being the so-called Christian that she claims to be, will blame the devil for her actions. It is funny how the devil gets blamed for the wrong people do. I say, take responsibility and stop giving the devil so much credit for something you chose to do. The easy way to let yourself off the hook is to say, the devil is busy, he made me do it, he took control and had power over me. Bullshit! The devil is not that busy. He has enough followers. Did you try Jesus?

I thought about sleeping with his brother and my sister’s husband, but I cannot and will not compromise my morals, values, or body that way, or will I? I know we are supposed to forgive the wrong done to us but how can I? I could say I forgive them with my mouth, but until I can truly forgive them in my heart, my saying I forgive them is worthless. For me to forgive them I would have to forget what they did. I will never forget what they did. I don’t think it is even possible to forget something like that? THEREFORE, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM! So whatever blessings I will miss out on, so be it! Why should I forgive them and let them off the hook when I am the one that is still wounded? Free them so they could live their lives in harmony when I cannot sleep at night. You two have no idea what kind of revenge I am coming at you with. I intend to bring down the wrath of God.