My Experience With Paid Companionship.

Lights, camera, end.

I became so blitzed in my own glamour and fortune, I never thought about the end too suddenly or harshly, until it became a reality. We both wore masks and we both built an illusion, I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. During what I should have known to be our last vacation, he only came to me for a quick fuck and he wouldn’t speak to me like he used to. I sat, watching the seasons change trying to ignore the dissolution feeling he was giving me.

..The autumn leaf fell in front of my window; he brewed coffee to the perfect depth of flavor and richness, and I sipped hastily, as my mind wandered...

We didn't do our normal gambling things or fine dinners and he never paid me up front. I had nothing to show for our time and to no surprise, he held back on the truth when I asked about us. I saw the camera flash dim from my life, the casino noise disappear, and the Italian food now leaving a bad taste as he continued to ignore the situation entirely. A rewind of our lives together started to play like a reel in my mind and I felt both disappointed and angry. All the time I had dedicated to him was lost forever and I was more angry at myself for not speaking up sooner. It was too late for any apologies. After realizing our conversation would be a lost cause, I sat in the bathroom for what felt like an eternity. I never imagined our epic life together, would end with me arguing my pay-check.

That night, we awkwardly shared his bed. He slept, however, I couldn't get a minute in. My mind raced non-stop and by the time he saw me off the next morning, I felt queasy and detached entirely. He only gave me $60 dollars cash, as if that made up for the previous evening, and some spoken words of something less than appreciative. And like nails on a chalk board, I felt the inappropriate gouache long after we went our separate ways.

Considering how young I was, you would have thought this was going to destroy me, however, I grew up the moment we said hello. Not that it was his sole responsibility, I appreciate the exhilaration, it was everything I knew and noticed within the world. From strangers, situations, and my parents stories created the perfect combo to hold my own. And with him in particular, I stepped miles ahead from all other grown women who were still trying to find themselves. He went to bed knowing there wasn't going to be a next time and I have never been more proud of myself. I had more confidence in my voice than I have ever had before.

Rich Guy Here let the details slip many years of hello’s later on why we ended so poorly, and everything made sense. I didn't invite the closure, but a nice resolution hurts no one and any malice that was left, vanished. I was extremely grateful for all I have learned, lost, and what I was able to build for myself I simply wished him the best. Progressing forward, I'll always cherish the memories of our time together and I'll never forget the sound of me padding across the Florence street cement.

"You can change your outcome simply by changing your mindset." To be successful at anything, you need the confidence, self-sufficiency, and the determination for change. And being able to let go and move forward is the greatest skill of all. Once I woke up, I reached out and took what I knew to be possible and I will never regret doing so. I grew up in ways I wanted to all along and experienced more than enough for anyone my age. And after tasting the lifestyle I desperately wanted to maintain, Rich Guy Here didn’t hinder my confidence that I could get it again.