Marriage is not about being religious

One of the arguments couples make about marriage is that "it's just a religious ceremony."

Getting married for the sake of religion (for me, anyway) is obviously not always an embodied decision, but more a culture-driven one.

However, I personally believe that marriage — one that is recognized by and witnessed by others — is a mystery of union (physical and spiritual) that makes sense. It is deeply connected to the primordial masculine and feminine, "male and female" that is at the genesis of this reality.

I'm very good at giving religious reasons for marriage. I won’t give the Christian reasons for marriage here, as that invites many to check out of the space (because naturally, they should! They can’t relate.)

So, here are my top 3 NON-religious reasons why marriage is vastly different than just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, or as a "conscious couple" (and why a man's and a woman's PERCEPTION of each other as "husband and wife" significantly shifts and effects how they give and receive).

1. It shifts the entire relationship from couple to covenant. Regardless of what a couple THINKS when living together, your relationship with your significant other changes the moment the relationship is a MARRIAGE. Our brains fire and connect new neural pathways when significant shifts happen to us (and in a marriage, your union is witnessed by, well, witnesses). This also means your new association of who you are to each other, is seen in a different and more serious light not just by the two of you, but by others. Marriage is a PERCEPTIONAL shift, that also changes your thoughts, feelings, and thus habits and behaviors. You author a NEW era of LIFE as a married couple; the relationship evolves. (And as beings in this timeline, our purpose is to evolve.) Marriage is where the "energy" of the union is now FULLY DIRECTED toward your marriage, and nowhere (and to no one) else.

2. The word "marriage” transforms the nature of the relationship. Words that we use as human beings DEEPLY affect us and others, because human beings experience our reality in and with WORDS. Think about it: Can you experience this humanity, without any words AT all? Our father is "father" because the word defines him, and also what is expected of him. With this logic, we can say that living with a "boyfriend" is not the same as living with a "husband." (And vice-versa with "girlfriend" or any other title you give her is not the same as making a home with your "wife.") "Husband and wife" as words have evolved over human evolution, and are (whether we want to believe it or not) an important statement of that person's role in your life than you are with any other title. In perceiving a person as husband and wife, it is also provided that each one's ENERGY is solely for the other.

3. Marriage means being BOUND and recognized legally. Now, for all the matrix-haters, I know this can be triggering to your beliefs of "but the government is a social construct!" The thing is, we can be "in" the matrix of systems on this planet, but not "of" the game, right? So, being legally bound to and responsible for another person holds weight in how we experience this world. When we make something legal and binding, we are pronouncing to him/her and to ourselves that we take this relationship with the utmost seriousness. We can make promises of commitment, of love and "I'll never leave you," and be sincere about it, but there is an irreplaceable seriousness of legal commitment in our modern society. (Now, if we had evolved to be in tribes where we didn't have legal structures to frame unions within, it would STILL be the same: The community would recognize a man and a woman's covenant to each other. It's just how humans have evolved.)

To be in a union isn’t a goal: it’s a calling. It has to be a full body, full-spirit “yes” to a life of giving and receiving, of surrender and sacrificing, of “for better and worse” in addition to being husband and wife material. It won’t be for everyone.

As women, we ask ourselves: How can I embody the essence of the feminine? How do I get to develop myself as the most viable and valued partner to a strong, principled, godly man? What do I get to learn about being an asset to a husband? How will I hold myself to all of this?

Also, we ask ourselves: Who do I look for guidance and accountability in feminine practice? What will I unlearn from culture, from my family, my network, about men, the masculine, and marriage? How can I start learning more about making a home and domestic arts?

Why is it that modern women hardly hear about what being a good wife and mother is, but are taught to pursue careers? Why are they not mentored in what it means to be a suitable partner before biology catches up with them (because nature will always reveal the Truth)?