Losing my Dad has been Tough

Losing my dad has been tough. Of course, the death of a loved one is never easy. And, the recent passing of my father has brought about many different emotions; so, I wanted to share my story with you.

Losing my Dad

In June, my dad passed away. Although I knew the end was near for quite a while; it still hit me hard.

When my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease; it wasn’t a big surprise to me. About a decade ago; my dad often repeated things multiple times and seemed to forget simple things often. To learn more about this horrible disease; visit my World Alzheimer’s Month post.

After my mom passed away 23 years ago; my dad wasn’t in my life as much as he was when my mother was alive. Less than a month after my mom died; my dad went to Florida to visit his cousin.

When he returned from Florida; he connected with a close friend of mine’s Mom who lost her husband many years prior. Hence, they began a relationship that lasted a few years. Because my dad always had dreams to retire to Florida; he left during the winter months whereas he rented a condo.

Due to my dad being gone during the winter months; he met another woman the second year he was in Florida. And, his relationship came to an end with the woman he was living with in Massachusetts.

Shortly after, they married.

Sadly, that woman ended up hospitalized at a long-term care facility and passed away.

When my dad’s second wife died; he already had a lady friend he became acquainted with while his second wife was in the hospital. And, there began another woman in my dad’s life.

My family and I had to have a new woman introduced into our life.

None of us were a fan of this woman and didn’t know what our Dad was doing with her.

Losing my Dad – Alzheimer’s Disease

Every summer, my dad would visit me and my sisters, our husband’s and his grandchildren.

One weekend, my husband and I took them on a day trip and I picked up on something. My dad married this woman yet never told anyone. At that point, I knew my dad’s medial condition was impacting his judgement and I knew things would never be the same again.

Since this was something we never dealt with in our family; there were a lot of firsts for us. From seeing my dad make poor decisions to telling me a story that he was somewhere recently when you knew he wasn’t was tough to hear.

Though we were still father and daughter; our relationship deteriorated each year.

Losing my Dad has been Tough

So, what do you say when you know when his stories aren’t true?

Alzheimer’s disease is complex.

At the same time, you begin to accept the good with the bad.

Grieving Process

Though each of us experiences grief differently; the death of a parent can be tough. Indeed, anyone who has suffered the loss of a parent, a sibling, a relative or close friend has gone through a range of different emotions at different times.

Since I have now lost my Mom, Sister, Edie, my Dad and many relatives; my emotions have gone from sorrow, memories, relief and inspiration.

When someone dies; it is essential to be understanding and give someone time to heal. Moreover, each person processes things differently. There is no right or wrong! Check out my Understanding the Grieving Process post for some coping mechanisms.

What I have Learned

In essence, a gravestone isn’t the spot where the people I have lost lie; but it is an Avator for the person who lived. Meanwhile, these gravestones are a beacon for the people I want to remember.

So, this was my first Father’s Day I wasn’t able to phone my Dad; but I know my Dad is in a better place.

As always, I welcome your comments on if you have lost someone and the ways you have coped with your loss.