Leah's Turning Point

I looked out my window, the sun was glistening off the snow; as I was waiting patiently for mom to assist me out of bed.

I have Cerebral Palsy, I feel bad sometimes because I can’t do basic things such as dress, bathe or groom myself and someone, mom has to do it all for me,

On this particular morning however, I was pleasantly surprised to see my favourite personal support workers face instead of my mothers.

“What are you doing here?” I inquired, shocked to see her on her day off.

“Your mother said she would pay me an extra hour, if I came to feed and change you, but it’s weird though she didn’t want me to get you up into your wheelchair. She told me she would do that later on” Carla explained. “She usually wants me to do everything for her.

My mother told Carla once, “She’s my daughter, but she’s your responsibility.” Carla almost quit after that. However, Carla said that her love for me was too strong, and she would rather die than leave me at the mercy of my mother. She told me never to tell anybody because the agency that sent her to my house would say she’s too emotionally involved and they would send somebody new to look after me.

“I immediately thought maybe mom had something special planned for us.

“So, do you think you could help me have a shower?” I wanted to look nice for my day out with mom. I was so unbelievably excited, “What could it be” I thought. it didn’t matter it was going to be a day, just me, and mom.

After convincing Carla to assist me with a shower. She was pushing me down the hallway to the bathroom; when my mom’s bedroom door opened and my golden retriever, Rowen came out followed by a man I had never seen before. I watched him as he put Rowen outside to pee. I thought mom, and I were the only ones here. Here I am sitting naked on a commode and there’s a strange man in my house. As he turned around to make his way back to my mother’s room, he stopped dead in his tracks once he realized I was watching him. “Get out of my house now” I screamed, horrified that this mystery man had seen me naked. The man ran out the door so fast, he didn’t even grab what I assumed was his jacket off the hook. My mom realizing what had just taken place, Jumped out of bed, and chased after the mystery man.

“Ethan wait” I heard her scream. “Ethan, Ethan, Ethan Please wait” my mother pleaded with him.

“When were you going to tell me you had a daughter Sarah” Ethan asked obviously just as freaked out by the chance encounter as I was. I realized in that moment that mom had no surprise day out for me, she wanted to keep me a secret from Ethan.

The conversation continued in the hallway, “You told me Carla was your housekeeper, oh my goodness, it all makes sense now. Why I could never sleep over here, or why you wouldn’t sleep over at my place”

My heart was broken by the fact that mom was content on hiding me from a man she was more than likely serious about. My eyes filled up with tears.

Not wanting me to be anymore traumatized, by this Carla took me into the bathroom and proceeded with my shower. I couldn’t stop crying, every time I tried they just kept coming, and along with them the negative thoughts. “Mom doesn’t love me” I sobbed, Carla tried her best to console me.

Just as Carla was getting me” to calm down enough to complete my shower; my mother burst in the bathroom.

“You were supposed to change and feed her, and leave,it was that simple. What on earth possessed you to stray from my orders” Mom was enraged enough to take the shower hose from Carla turn off the water, pull me out of the shower, “You can leave now Carla, I need to be alone with my daughter” my mom said pushing me back towards my bedroom, I didn’t understand I still had soap on my body, “Why wouldn’t she rinse me off first. The soap would itch like crazy, if the soap didn’t get washed off properly.

“Mom, there’s still soap on my body” my voice came out smaller than I intended it to.

I don’t care, today's not your shower day, Leah, you’ll have to wait until your next shower day to take care of that” Mom said, angered by my whine.

“My next shower that’s two days away, Please mom rinse it off” I begged.

“No Leah” she pulled my head back by my hair, I screamed, tears were flowing now, no longer because my heart was broken, but because I feared for what would happen next. I had never seen my mom this angry before, and all because I wanted a shower to look nice for her.

“If I make it through today, I’ll never make this mistake again” I thought.

My mom didn’t use my ceiling track lift to get me back into bed like she usually did, instead she positioned my commode, so it was facing my bed, and tipped it forward. My torso landed on the bed, but my legs were still hanging off the side, the only thing stopping me from sliding off completely was the fact that I managed to grab my hospital bed railing closest to my window and inch myself adjacent to that side of my bed. Although I was laying width wise across my bed my mother was refusing to help me lay correctly on my bed. It’s almost like she got some sick twisted pleasure out of watching me struggle. Maybe she felt like putting me through this punishment was a sort of revenge for ruining her quiet morning with Ethan.

In no way was I prepared for what followed. My mom left the room briefly, and returned with an old belt my father had left behind. She showed it to me before proceeding to hit my bare back side with it.

“I only wanted to look nice for you, Mom please stop” I cried. “It won’t happen again I promise”

Look nice for me, like I would take you out in public where people would see you, if people were to know you’re my daughter; Darlin, that’s committing social suicide, and Honey, I value my image” she said while continuously striking me with daddy’s old belt.

How I missed my father, he left one night due to my mothers never ending bitching about what a horrible man he was for causing me to have Cerebral Palsy, he had written this to me in a letter, he had Carla give it to me on my twelfth Birthday. He had also written that I could come and live with him, if I wished to.

Mom had convinced me that he didn’t mean it, “He only said that, so he could look like a good parent” she told me as she sipped on her wine. “So you would blame me for his taking off, instead of blaming yourself, which is the real reason why he left.

I thought back to that night as the strikes kept coming. Suddenly the memory of my mother saying those words to me, hurt more than being hit.

Just then I heard the front door open. my mom stopped hitting me instantly, she quickly repositioned me correctly on my bed and covered me with a blanket.

“We’ll continue this later” she mouthed and went to intersect whoever was at the door.

“Afternoon mam, we got a call about a child screaming, for the majority of the morning” the gentleman said kindly. “Do you mind, if we have a look around?”

Oh no officer be my guest, the screaming was more than likely my precious daughter; she’s not all there you know” Mom said.

“Oh” replied the officer. “We’re still required by law to look around.”

The officer made his way back to my room, ``Are you okay young lady?” the officer asked me.

“No” I sobbed.

“What day is it today?” he asked me.

Mom looked at me, probably because she wanted me to lie to protect her. I looked her straight in the eye, and said “Today is, Sunday November 8, 2015”

“What’s your address?” he was testing my cognitive awareness. Carla warned me about this, she told me, if ever I was alone with my mom and the cops came because of the fact, I’m physically challenged, they were always going to assume I’m intellectually challenged as well, until I prove them wrong. So, I answered the question, “My address is 115 Holly Lane” looking at my mom's horrified face.

The cop asked me a few more cognitive testing questions, then looked at my mom with a mask of confusion on his face,

“She seems pretty smart to me,” the officer said. “Can you tell me why you were screaming, so loud sweetheart” he turned back to face me.

I proceeded to explain everything to him, how I thought mom had a surprise day out just me and her. When I got to the part about hitting me with daddy’s old belt, the officer cringed and got on his radio to call, for a female officer to come investigate my claims of abuse.

When the female officer arrived, she went through all the cognitive tests again. I was secretly angered by this, however I knew it had to be done.

When I passed her cognitive test, my mom became very agitated, so much so the male officer had to restrain her from hitting me again.

Before the female officer did her examination, she introduced herself as officer Grey, as she put on her gloves. She removed the blanket, and saw the soap that was beginning to dry on my skin. “Was your mother giving you a sponge bath before we got here?”

“No” I said, recounting the events leading up to their need for a visit.

Her face lost all expression, “Do you have anyone we could call for you”

“Carla, my personal support worker” I answered as my eyes filled up with tears once again unsure if that was the right person to contact.

“I’ll have officer Maxwell call her right away” she said while still examining my wounds.

“Thank you” I said, trying not to cry. “Oh excuse me officer can you bring my dog, Rowen in from outside, he’s been out there all morning?”

“Well technically we’re not allowed, for safety reasons, however I will do that. so you have someone to keep you company, while we wait for someone from the agency to come stay with you” I gave her a grateful smile. “First, I have to photograph your wounds, so if I help you roll on your side, do you think you can grab your hospital rail, and look out your window while I do that? she asked.

“Yes” I answered. “What’s going to happen to my mom?”

“Well, Officer Maxwell is outside questioning her, but after that I’m not sure honey. It’s been a hard morning for you though, hasn’t it? she said as she snapped picture after picture.

“Yes” I replied.

Just as officer Grey was finishing up her pictures; we heard the door open. Officer Grey to greet them. “Leah, is she alright? I heard a male voice say.

The male voice sounded oddly familiar, although I couldn’t figure out who it was. “Carla called me,” the man said, panicking. “She’s on her way as well, she’s just finishing up with a client.”

“Sir, I’ll need to see an ID” I assume the man showed his ID because her next question was, “What’s your relation to the young lady?”

I heard nothing for a few minutes Then I heard Officer Grey say, “If you need anything sweetie, I’ll be right outside.”

She must have realized she had left me uncovered because she came into my room, covered me and headed out again. “Rowen?” I yelled not knowing for sure what was going on.

“Oh right” Officer Grey said.

Rowen came running into my room and made himself comfortable beside me on my bed. I threw my arm around his neck and began to weep.

I must have cried myself to sleep because before I knew it, Carla was in my room stroking my head in a soothing way.

“Hey Beautiful, how are you feeling?” she asked me. “Sorry it took me so long to get here.”

“It’s OKAY” I said just grateful to see her after the day I had.

“Rowen, hasn’t left your side all afternoon,” Carla smiled. “That dog really loves you.”

Carla I really need to pee, I was so scared most of the day, so it wasn’t an issue, but I really have to go now.”

“You must be hungry to?”

“Starving, but can we take care of my itchy skin, First”

“Of course, how silly of me not to assume you would want that taken care of, first”

After my shower was done, Carla and I decided to order pizza for supper.

After we’re done here, there’s someone that wants to see you”

I thought it was my mom, so I froze in fear; Carla seeing the look on my face, “It’s not your mother though” she reassured me.

I breathed a sigh of relief, “Who is it?” I asked.

“You’ll see,” Carla smiled.

Carla washed the dishes and we were on our way to meet this person, Rowen in toe. As we pulled up in the driveway in front of this house. All the sudden these fragments of memories from my childhood flood my mind. In the doorway stood an elderly couple. As Carla pushed me towards them they met me at the bottom of the steps. “Oh sweetheart, you don’t remember us do you?” the lady said with tears in her eyes. Apparently Rowan didn’t either because his teeth were bared, I stroked his head to calm him. Rowen put his head in my lap. I looked up these two people claiming to know me,

“I vaguely remember this house from when I was younger, although I don’t recall why” I smiled.

Just then my dad walked up behind them, “These are your Nanny and Grampy, my parents” he said warmly.

“Daddy” my eyes filled with tears for the Hundredth time today.

My dad immediately came to kneel in front of me, “Hi Sweetie” he embraced me.

Eighteen Months Later

I am happy to report I’m no longer living in fear of my mother’s rath, after that day I have chosen to call my turning point. I now live with my dad and his girlfriend

In my house, My dad and Carla helped me petition the court to put the house in my name shortly after my sixteenth birthday. because it was the town council that granted the use of city funds to make the house accessible. They wanted to ensure no matter what happened I would have everything I required to live healthy and happy.

Apparently my dad and Carla became an item a few years after he connected with her to find out how I was doing, Carla didn’t tell me earlier because she didn’t want to risk my mom overhearing and firing her, she did it to protect me.

Carla called him on the turning point, however they came to an agreement that the moment when I was vulnerable in bed wasn’t the ideal time for us to reconnect.

I still see my mom a couple times a month, however Carla is always close by, as well as Rowen is always next to me,

All and all things are great.