I Saw The End Of The World

I had already been in a bad state myself. Leaving the nest, as they say, was no easy transition. It certainly didn't come without it's heartbreaks. Living with my father had become a nightmare. Aside from the Bed Bugs eating me alive every night, and forcing me out of sleep for weeks and weeks on end, my father was allowing my step-mother to stay with us even after discovering she was the cause of the infestation. I never really liked her then. She was always mad. And they always argued. On top of it all, I was working a job that was killing me. Working until the late hours, then coming home to get mauled by a bunch of parasites, then being rattled awake by the constant screaming that would ensue most every morning between my father and his "lover"; you could see why I would eventually find myself standing in the middle of the hallway with a match and a dream.

No. Instead I made the hasty decision to finally leave it all. I ended up sleeping in my car. I occupied most of my off time by visiting the gym and going to the park to write lyrics for songs I would never end up producing. At this point, I was about ready to just drive away from Tucson and lead an entirely new life. I still hadn't gotten over the time when my own grandmother kicked me out of her house for believing that I had taken one of her cars on a joyride. I was staying with her so that I didn't have to deal with my "home'' situation. My grandmother made it clear that if I were to stay, I'd need to spend most of my time enrolling in college. Despite the fact that I hated school, I was willing to take on the challenge if it meant that I would end up somewhere ELSE. It wasn't in the universe's plans I guess... Even after coming home, having completed my placement exams, with a fresh smile on my face and a new confidence for education, I was met with unhappy faces and a boot through the door. No proof, no warning, just the words of an anonymous hater. All of the cameras in my grandmother's garage, and none of them were ever even used to help clear my name. I can't even drive a shift.

The day I saw the end of the world, I had almost given up. There were so many things weighing on my heart that I just felt like ending it. I decided that if today was going to be my last journey, I would at least make sure that I was the one in control this time. I would find a way to enjoy it no matter what happened. I took a solo trip up Mt. Lemmon. I spent most of my time hiking, and meditating. I spoke to myself aloud like I was my own therapist attempting to settle unresolved issues. One thing was for certain... It was definitely a beautiful day to die. I wasted no time frowning. I dare even say not one tear was shed. After confiding in nature for what felt like hours, I finally made my way to the peak. Standing there on the edge, facing the setting sun in all of its colorful glory, I reminisced on all of the beautiful moments in my life that I had experienced with myself just like this one. Each time, I was alone. And each time, I felt like flying away. Just like I did on that peak.

I was the happiest I had ever been. I felt like I had superpowers. Perhaps it was all of that time I had just spent soaking in nature. I was at peace. To make the most of the moment. I decided that when the sun fell behind the peak, I would take the final leap. It seemed like the perfect ending. There was no sign of any lingering regret. With my full attention on the horizon, I opened myself up to one last message from the universe. Since we were good friends and all. As the sun did one final wave behind the mountains in the distance, I took the deepest breath I had ever taken, then smiled. It's almost time. When the sun vanished, that smile quickly faded.

The warm temperature in the air plummeted immediately, and a sinister wave of energy cascaded over the valley below. I was suddenly alone and scared. Sure it was night time, but it was a whole different level of dark. Suddenly I received a vision that hit me like a train. Covid, quarantine, death, civil unrest. It all came in a flash. One like i've never seen before. I supposed I could have taken it all as a sign to jump, but the universe was no longer concerned with me. It would've been an empty journey. So I took one last look at what would've been my final resting place, then exited the mountain. To this day, I have never felt a feeling as pure as the feeling of being ready to die. Sometimes I sit and wonder if I actually did in a way. I never told anyone about that vision. What would even be the point? At least now I can say that, for a brief moment, I really DID have superpowers.