I Have Risen: The True Confessions of A Lady Lazarus

Now, I tend to go to this Episcopal Church here in Morristown, New Jersey, former place of Matthew Broderick’s sister Janet (no, really) and sanctuary to many. Most of the time, I go because I have (literally) nothing better to do, but this time was different. I wanted to expose myself to the story behind Easter, how Jesus rose to save us a-

Oh, who am I kidding? They were holding a party, and I was told there would be cake.

Now, during most Easter sermons, the story of Jesus and how he rose from the grave is told. However, the Episcopal Church is a little more casual than that, so they told the story of Orpheus and Eurydice as well- better known to contemporary audiences as the Broadway musical Hadestown After his wife was enticed to the Underworld by Hades Orpheus vowed to save her by going to the underworld to bring her back to the world of the living. Hades agreed over the terms that he not look back, or she will come back to the Underworld. Well, for the most part he does what he’s told, but just as he’s about to go back to the world of the living, he completely forgets his promise to Hades and immediately turns around. As for what happens, you guessed it, she goes back to the Underworld permanently. As he knows there’s no one but himself to blame here, Poor Orpheus is wracked with guilt for the rest of his life.

His story, of course, is used as an example of “letting our urges consume us.” Why else would we do foolish, irresponsible things? We believe we’re getting what we want by doing so, but in reality, we’re only hurting ourselves in the long run. Throughout my own life- especially when my dear mother was still alive- I’ve often been consumed by my own compulsions. In January 2019, I threatened suicide after a particularly nasty fight with mom, not realizing that my life was not only the greatest gift of all, it was all I had- at which point the police had to come to make sure I was mentally okay (I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals out of concern for my mental health since 2020; surprisingly enough I more often than not get a clean bill.) Look, Jenny, just because it can be hard to navigate this dear life sometimes, doesn’t mean you have to act this way, even if it makes you feel better now.

Orpheus himself is commusated by his love and caring for Eurydice. Likewise, Eurydice’s identity is “snuffed out” when she is seduced by Hades, who is seen here as the Greek equivalent of Satan. (Surprisingly enough, since Hades isn’t really evil in mythological canon, he just takes care of all the dead bodies out there.) Eurydice is angry at Orpheus for ignoring her during the cold, harsh winter, so she figures that working for Hades would be a step up from her condition. She realizes too late that he wants to use her for ulterior motives, like he does his other workers.

In the days leading up to my mother’s death, I more often than not let my feelings consume me, as my mental health took a nosedive after my expulsion from CoHome. owever, once we realized that Christmas that she would be in hospice for the remainder of her days, I immediately matured and resolved that I would make them as pleasant as possible for her- I wanted us to, at the very least end on a good note. At that point, our story became more analogous to Jesus than Orpheus.

In life, we’re often consumed by the temptations that being wicked can bring to us, but at the end of the day, we need to know that, sometimes the road that seems more difficult is the path better for us. Happy Easter, and God bless us all.