How to Set Boundaries With Friends When You're a People Pleaser

I have a buddy (whom I nearly received rid of) who had the most traumatic dependancy of asking me personal questions in the front of different people. She did not do it maliciously.

She used to be simply clueless. I used to seethe inner and experience absolutely awkward when she would ask me questions that had been both off limits to her or inappropriate given the setting.

I used to think, "This woman would not have boundaries" But the reality of the matter was once I didn't have boundaries. I did not know how to ask for what I wished from my pal - which was to be respected.

Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, but so liberating. I'll provide you three suggestions on how to set boundaries with buddies so that your buddies (and humans in general) respect you. Most of all, you'll study to appreciate yourself.

What's a Boundary?

A boundary is a limit. It's a limit you set for what's suitable and what's unacceptable to you. It's your remedy zone. Nobody can inform you what your remedy area is or need to be. Boundaries are like fences - they maintain positive matters (people, dogs,) out of your space if you do not want them there.

What Stops You From Setting Boundaries?

People pleasing. Yuck. What used to cease me from placing boundaries was the concern that others would not like me anymore. I had such a people desirable personality, I would not speak up till I used to be enraged. Then, I would absolutely blow up and alienate people.

I don't do that anymore. And you do not have to either.

Tip #1 - Get to Know Yourself

The solely way you can learn to set boundaries is by using getting to recognize yourself. Make a list of what you like. Then make a list of what you don't like. Then write down things you hate and things you love.

Your listing can consist of matters like: "I hate bullies" or "I love assertive people". When you understand yourself, you are possibly to honor your feelings.

Tip #2 - Pay Attention to How You Feel

Feelings are so important. When you ignore your feelings with the aid of pushing them down with food, drugs, alcohol, minimizing, denying etc., you lose the capability to take care of yourself. Your feelings are your friend. They talk that some thing is wrong (or right).

I used to do the entirety I possibly may want to to run from my feelings - till I realized that my emotions are god given and important.

Tip #3 - Pay Attention To How Your Boundaries are Received

Most human beings will admire your boundaries. Sometimes, you have to repeat the boundary. However, there are some people (bullies) that will strive to step all over your boundaries. They will be triumphant if you let them.

Here's how to tell if you're in a healthy relationship...

If you set a boundary and your friend persistently ignores the boundary or tries to persuade you that your boundary is "wrong" or tries to bully you into giving valid motives for your boundaries, then your friendship is an unhealthy one.

I would certainly let my buddy understand that if she cannot respect my boundary, the friendship has to end.