I feel like I should feel like a badass, but I don't. But in the spirit of fake it until you make it, I decided to write a "how to be a bad ass for dummies", and it worked. I do feel little badass right now.
I made a commitment a few years ago to not let any mind-altering substances into my body as they would just make my bi-polar disorder worse. I've already been hospitalized for the disorder, but I'm not going to let my struggle define me. I'm divorced and an empty-nester. This is MY time, and I'm going to put the sin in single. But I also know that it is too easy to get arrogant - the key here is confidence. The following list are tips for myself on my way to my most successful chapter of my life.
1. The difference between solitude and loneliness is whether or not you enjoy it. Be ok being alone. I was terribly needy in my marriages. I was a needy sister. I'm not chasing anyone or anything right now. I'm just working on myself.
2. Be intimidating – read, read, and read some more. Don’t let the likability penalty get you down. I was a science teacher for 15 years at a very affluent suburb. As a result, I was on top off the latest and greatest science and technology. This is apparently intimidating to many of my colleagues. Strange - if I were a man, this wouldn't be a problem.
3. Well-behaved women never make history – Bravery and a zest for life are two qualities of mine that have propelled me to success in the past. During a bad marriage, my ex-husband held me back. I retaliated in unhealthy ways. I'm now going to use my bravery for good deeds and positive successes.
4. Be unconventional – I dress and speak and in an unusual manner. People tell me I belong in Vermont. I will not fit in anywhere. I’m a square peg in a round hole. I'm going to stop trying to fit in where I don't belong as I'll end up with clothes I don't like, with a job I despise and in a terrible marriage once again.
5. Capitalize on your strengths just not your weaknesses. Be more concerned with exercising your willpower than anything else. Willpower is like a muscle. You need to use it or lose it. My goal for this year is to persevere. I don't do that enough. I'm an idea person; my perfect team mate is a details person.
6. Seek healthy friendships and activities; be with people you strive to be like and not you used to be like. I love to hike and be outdoors. Kayaking, scuba diving, chasing waterfalls. These are a few of my favorite things.
7. I’m taking a lesson from Draft Kings – I have a long-lost relative who invested in Draft Kings and made a fortune. Some lessons are that the best things in life take time. Another lesson I learned from this family member is that if it is a good idea today it will be a good idea a week from now.
8. Have fun! Laughter is the best medicine – I really need a funny bone! Since I don't have one, I schedule time with my unboyfriend on a weekly basis. He is funny and creative. We get along well.
9. Own your mistakes - I don’t have another financial recovery in me. I could go broke on 20 million a year, I think. Probably not, but you get the idea. Get it together ladies! Fast fashion is killing the environment, your pocketbook, and the chance to marry a nice guy or live your life of solitude. Whatever your goals, a new pair of leggings is not the answer.
10. Set goals – Delayed gratification and Perseverance, be tenacious and stern at times. Focused on the goal (financial stability) and flexible on the execution. I set goals every year. The best advice my uncle gave me was that I should volunteer to affect change and make connections. I think the entirety of my career started with volunteering on Saturday mornings.
11. Follow your bliss - Many people compliment me on my writing. While I'll probably never make a fortune at it, it is certainly rewarding that people enjoy my work.
12. Sober is sexy - Mommy likes her wine culture has gone too far. One of my best friends is a raging alcoholic. She complains bitterly that no one wants to marry her, but when you drink to the point of needing sub-titles when you speak, no man wants that. Look at the half-time show. Many sober artists were on display and I don't think anyone would turn down the opportunity to be in Robert Downey Jr's shoes - he's been sober since the 1990's.
13. Stand up to your No! As women, we often say yes when we want to say no. Don't be a pushover at home or at work. It's a slippery slope and pretty soon you are over committed and suffering from burnout.
14. Respect your boundaries – you have the right to have healthy boundaries. If setting boundaries in your relationship causes problems, then I would cut my losses and run. I know this from experience. I told my ex that the relationship was moving too fast; instead of him just waiting to talk to me further about it, he decided to start sleeping with his ex-wife. Nice! Moving on..
15. Sin is an illusion; stop feeling guilty for being a mammal. Sleep in the winter, clean in the spring, bask in the sun in the summer, gather your food in the fall, and make love as often as possible.
Come up with your tips for being a badass. If you exude confidence, the money will follow in one way or the other.
About the Creator
I am an aspiring writer currently writing a book on the Sober Revolution we are in the midst of, a book about essays that will change the way you think, and a novel about a serial killer. I am also working on a book of poetry.