How I Almost Committed Suicide When I Was 14

When i was about 14 years old, i attempted to commit suicide. I probably would have been death by now. I remember taking countless different drugs, put them right into my mouth and swallowed them.

My Anxiety and depression began when i left my parent to attend a boarding school in another state in Nigeria, Yeah I forgot to tell you guys, Im Nigerian and over here we really dont believe in depression and anxiety, its a strange things, you tell people that you depressed and they laughed and tell you that the reason you feeling that way is because you broke. Depression and Anxiety isnt really a thing here.

Back to my story, when i got to the boarding school, i stayed for couple of month, i started having funny feelings, i wasnt happy, i didnt interact with people and i was always falling sick.

So i called my dad, told him how i felt, at that time i didnt know what to call what i was feeling, so i just told him i wasn't feeling well and i didnt like where i was and i wanted to come house.

My dad got really furious, yelled at me , told me not to call him if i didnt have any reasonable thing to say and compared me with other kids who were there and never complained.

After that call my depression became worst, i couldnt breathe well, i was all by myself, i didnt make any friends and i was just not my self. I called my mom and explained how i felt, she understood me, but there was nothing she could do, my dad had the final say, so she encouraged me, told me to be strong and that she would pray for me.I felt better that day, but the next day it came back and this time, it was even worst.

I could remember sitting all alone in the class after close of school, thought was just rushing through my head, it was like a voice telling me to just end it all. At first I just weaved the thought off, but then it became stronger and for some reason, I began to pay attention to it and before I could know I've started thinking about it and planning on how I'm going to commit suicide.

One Saturday afternoon, I went to the school clinic and complained I was sick, the nurse asked for the symptoms I had, and I told her, so she gave me some malaria and typhoid and drugs. I took the drugs to the hostel, poured it in my hand..I counted them, it was about 2o tablet of drugs to be taken twice for 10 days.

I had another extra I brought from home, it was a pain relief drug, I added it to the one I got from the clinic. It was now 30 tablet of drugs, I swallowed all of them.

At that moment I felt like something left me, and I began to question why I did what I did…but it was already too late. I had already started having stomach pain, feeling dizzy and I was finding it hard to breathe..

Lucky for, I fellow student came into the hostel to get something, I wasn't sure what it was, but he wasn't supposed to be in the hostel at that time. He saw me on floor, at this time I was going through an unimaginable pain and I was crying, holding my stomach…

Gideon, what's wrong with you?I was surprised he knew my name, but that wasn't important, I needed help…He rushed out, started calling people to help him rush me to the hospital. At that moment I had already passed out, I didn't even know what was happening..

I woke up the next day on a hospital bed, I thought I had died…I heard when people die the brain doesn't really know they're dead and there will be a series of pass life event played been shown to the person, I thought that was what was happening to me, until when i saw my mom…I could tell from her eyes that she cried heavily, i saw the sadness in her eye….she came, gave me hug and asked how i was feeling..

Tears dropped from my eyes as I helped her tight, I was glad i wasn't dead.My dad came shortly, I was expecting him to yell at me like he normally does , but I was surprised he did otherwise..it was the first time I saw my dad cry.