Hi, Vocalverse :)

This is for Kayleigh Fraser's Get to Know Me challenge. Thanks for such a fun idea, Kayleigh! I'm too sleepy for proper intros and outros, but here are my 10:

1. I'm very anti-authoritarian. I've had a natural tendency towards bending/breaking societal rules since I was really young. I'm pretty sure I was born this way, but I was also raised this way, so it's hard to separate the two. (Somewhat) paradoxically, respecting the rules and boundaries of individuals has always been very high on my values list. But I'm heavily averse to restrictions and mandates imposed by societal structures like schools, religious institutions, corporations, or governments.

I'll spare any examples here. Government "rules" are, well... laws, after all.

I'll just say this is a pretty defining aspect of my character. I once ritualistically declared myself ungovernable, I will never vote because I see voting as a form of consent and I do not consent to being governed, and I value eating healthy for my health just as highly as I value it as a form of rebellion against the medical industrial complex (as I think on it, the latter might even be a little more motivating, tbh).

This is also why I love just about any story with a strong sovereignty theme.

2. I'm starting a certified clinical/transpersonal hypnotherapy school this month! And I'm very excited. :) I've career-hopped all of my adult life, but have always had a deep desire to work one-on-one with people in a healing vocation. I knew I didn't want my path to be in the realm of hands-on physical healing, and I didn't think a traditional clinical counseling career path would ever work for me, so I'm really grateful to have found an avenue that is all at once effective, fascinating and accessible. The subconscious mind holds the keys to our superpowers, and I'm really thrilled to learn how to help people—and myself!—tap into those more easily.

3. I got a science degree to rebel against the magic I was raised on. I was raised on witchcraft, various systems of astrology, and an always-on honoring of universal synchronicity. I'm one of those logical-creatives (I'm left-handed, I think it's an archetype lol), so my right brain is always at war with my left brain—moreso when I was younger. When I was a teenager, I got really exasperated by the sense that magical principles were "irrational woo-woo," (and just so uncool, mom) so I started college at sixteen and graduated with my bachelors in Biochemistry.

After graduating and participating in scientific research, I quickly became disenchanted with the parasitic bureaucracy of science, and although I appreciate and honor the scientific method for what it is, I witnessed first-hand the ways its application—like any human endeavor—is still susceptible to all of the foibles of humanity, including incompetence and rampant corruption.

A few years later, I came to terms with the fact that my temporary rejection of a spiritual path was really rooted in an encultured, patriarchal devaluing of intuition, and returned to the contented understanding that logic and reason are not inherently superior ways of interrelating with the world.

4. I designed a whole oracle deck. It took me 18 months of off-and-on commitment, but I finally got to my goal of 44 cards a few weeks ago. It's the longest and most thorough creative project I've ever actually finished, and it taught me a lot about where my strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to cultivating a balanced creative life.

The deck is called "Playing with Shadows," and while the artwork is very bright and bubbly and cartoonish and the voice is very humorous, the themes delve deep into the pysche. It's designed to help people explore personal accountability in difficult life situations by lowering their inhibitions with playfulness and humor, and I'm really proud of it, and I hope to get it printed and out in the world one day.

5. Dating shows are my guilty pleasure. Love Island, Love Is Blind, The Ultimatum... Yes please. I have tried to get into reading Romance as a genre, and learned over and over again that main-plot Romance is just not for me, but I will watch all the dating shows. The psychology, the drama, the cuteness, the cringe—I will convince myself it's all 100% authentic and be fully invested from start to finish.

6. I'm trying to get better at honoring my commitments and living my values. I'm a yo-yo-er when it comes to living by the things I value. I value experiences, but often tend towards escapism. I value my health, but only cycle through irregular movement practices/exercise. I value my relationships, but spend more than half of my life in hermit-mode. I'm in awe of the people who wake up every day and just get after it. Whatever "it" is. If you're one of those people, you're utterly alien to me and I want to be you when I grow up.

7. One night in my early 20's I ended up at a sushi restaurant where Vanilla Ice was performing with members of Insane Clown Posse, and I wandered onto the stage, which was highly accessible because this was a sushi restaurant, and said "Marshall help me find my friends" because I was drunk, lost, and thought he was Eminem. He was visibly upset. The memory of that night feels like a fever dream but I know it happened because I have pictures that prove it.

8. I am a cult fan of The OA and still hold belief in my heart that its "cancellation" is just a third-dimensional bit. (iykyk)

9. I think our judgments are our keys to freedom. Seriously, pay attention to what you judge other people for! There's wisdom in there just BEGGING to be realized! It's really liberating to turn your judgments into introspective action—you may actually learn how to better meet your own needs/desires, and at the same time, you'll realize that most people don't suck and the world will become a much more neutral place.

10. I used a basic manifestation method from social media to win my first Vocal challenge. I've always wanted to confess that here. I don't even believe means of manifestation which only scratch the surface by promoting hyper-fixation on what you want even work, unless you simultaneously clear out all the subconscious gunky patterns that cause you to keep manifesting the things you don't want, and then do the very hardest part of all, which is releasing attachment.

But also fuck that, I want the easy way! So I tried the "369" manifestation method by writing in a journal 3, 6, and 9 times: "I won first place and $10,000 in a Vocal challenge!" for about 2 weeks, forgot about it, and ended up placing first for the story I wrote at the same time that I was doing the journaling practice.