Haunted, Spooky, Scary Time

Waking early to get a start in life, only to fall by the wayside and give up on stride. Back in a corner against all odds, wondering what’s next in life, before we lose it all. Quarantine time where all was home, some was out there, some became alone. A weekend to a busy work week, while you get no sleep and fear the deep. Like puppets with string, we feed the system, move along and carry the wisdom. Knowledge of pain and struggle that we face, stitched to life, that should no longer break.

Stairs to climb, so hard to face. How high it goes, doesn’t matter, when you’re out of shape. Each step you take is a breathe that leaves your body, gasping for air like you need somebody. These stairs are so small your feet will fall in pain, be scared of the climb, scared of what you might gain. Thoughts of the truth with forgotten youth, no pain from the past, but the pain that's subdued. Shocks of the century, grasping at straws, as we get older, we deal with things like emotion, trauma, and loss.

Things get more real than a Sora reveal in smash, experiences become less personal but you are more vulnerable to dash. You watch as the world around you change and form, people feel the same but change in their core. Values are stronger but while the face is indifferent, who you were back then, is entirely different. 

Better things are to be set in the future, overthinking, self sabotage and fear are to be set in the past and not here. Struggles and confusion may hinder the growth, advice from others may change your vote. Unknown of self and constant need for clarity, questioning life and help from the many. Going in spirals not sure how to steer, all because who you will be might bring you fear. Anxiety and depression exist from the past, time to put on big boy pants so understand it won't last.

Hope and positivity can only be a front, to show those you are okay when in reality, you just don't. Over time you bleed out the pain, potentially poisoning your relationships while having the new ones to blame. Sex and pleasure to escape what should be done, become an addict, until your body is numb. You descend to childhood as to where it all started, the neglect and torture that made your mind departed.

Keep yourself silent as you lay and wait, for a miracle to happen and shift you away. Make it all clear, your fears and what holds dear, no need to question because you know what's here. Gratefulness and peace is something you value, while fear and anxiety, only comes through in shambles. The people you have loved or want to love more, has change to lessons that I should love me more.

Understanding friendships at an adult age, is harder and different when you were 8. The things you wanted where the path was set clean, is now something you have to spend so much time for, just to be a team. You thought it was easy where everyone was in the know, but separate experiences changes all of us, so now together we have to grow.

Stuck in limbo lost and unaware, of how your mental struggles, affect those you care. The supporter you are that you came to be, now looking for support but can't believe that you can be free. A mindset change that sets the path, to be alone in silence, and escape the past. Start a new mindset, a new way to live, first cherishing your friendships then discipline your id.