Growing Up Utah

I grew up with in a very traditional household, now I know what your thinking, “wow how original.” Let me explain;

My name is Isabella Tully, and I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. The home of Brigham Young, the state that started it all. For those who are not aware, Brigham Young was the founder of the ‘Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints’ known to the world as Mormons. Majority of people who live in Utah are indeed Mormon, which also means that Utah in general is a very tight knit community state. However; growing up in a religious state can be difficult, especially when you are not of said religion. I myself am a Catholic-Christian through and through, and this is a story about showing what is can be like adapting in a state like mine.

My first memory was when I was 7, and I was on the playground with my sister and a little girl came up to play with us. She was so nice and friendly, but during the middle of playing she stopped and asked, “what are you?” I was very dumbfounded by her question as I replied, “I’m American.” I was not quite understanding her question for I did not even know there was more than one continent, let alone people other then Americans. My mother overheard this and giggled as she yelled out to me, “no sweetie she means religion, tell her you are Christian.” I was still very confused as I didn’t know what that word ‘Christian’ meant. My mom said when we got home, she was going to explain it to us, for she could tell by the looks on our faces we genuinely had zero idea what we were. My mother every Sunday would take us to church; and read us the bible, and to my sister and I this was our normal routine. However; along the way no one ever had told us we were Catholic-Christian, we just assumed everyone read the bible and went to church.

Throughout the years I learned very quickly to watch what I say, and what jokes I told. I learned the hard way; when I was in third grade I got reprimanded by a teacher, and when my parents asked why she simply said, “today in class Isabella was talking and used the phrase Oh My God. That language is not acceptable in our class.” Making friends growing up was not always an issue, but sometimes I would let words slip or dress in a way that was not always up to others standards.

I will say one of the best points in my life, was being in Girl Scouts. I loved every minute of it, and they all adored us. My troop leader was a nice lady who had three kids of her own, and she was apart of our lives from the time we were toddlers till about middle school. Unlike boy scouts; when you get assigned a troop and a group of girls, you stick with the same troop forever. Now straight from the get go my mother informed my leader (Mrs. Heidi) that we were not Mormon, luckily this was never an issue and it was a place where we felt safe and could be ourselves. We ended up being longtime friends with every single girl there, that ended up being such a nice break from reality.

Middle school is probably where I realized I could not pretend anymore. Now up until this point in my life; I was always taught to teat everyone with love and respect and NEVER ask someone their religion as it was considered ‘rude’ in my family. I will say that up until this point, I also was robotic, I walked on egg shells as well as my sister, and it was all around very taxing on us mentally. I was slow to make friends as I was in a new school, and was shy. I ended up befriending a girl who I was very good friends with, and we had playdates often. Some of the others kids thought she was a bit weird, I however did not nor did I care. One time I went to her house to have a sleepover, and her dad made us dinner, but I was rather mind blown at what we were eating. To my very eyes it ended up being animal testicles, to which I politely declined and ate around it and was as respectful as I could be. Later in the year we both found ourselves in a theatrical production, which was thrilling for both of us. One night we were doing a late-night rehearsal at our school, I was asked to walk up the street to pick up some burgers for everyone as it was my turn to make a food run. My friend asked for a cheeseburger without bacon, but when I got back and she ate her burger she got really sick. She asked me what was on the burger, to which I replied and thus remembering the bacon. She explained how she was Muslim and could not eat bacon, she then proceeded to laugh saying how it’s funny how I never picked up on the fact that she was Muslim.

My second year of Middle school became increasingly easier, as I felt as though I was making friends and all around being happier. I felt like I was in a little bubble, and the pressure of the outside judgment could not get to me. I got to the point where I stopped answering people when they asked ‘what I was’ and I just started acting and being the way that made me feel the happiest. Accept one weekend, that I remember very fondly, my birthday. I was turning the big 14 and was over the moon excited to host a giant slumber party at my house after my party, but when I asked all of my friends, they said no. They told me that since I did not attend church they weren’t allowed to sleepover Saturday night, as my family would not be taking them to church. I ended up being upset for awhile until we came up with the plan to host the sleepover on Friday, so all the girls could spend the night. To me what seemed like a fun sleepover, turned into more than that. Normally my friend’s parents would not have an issue letting their kids have a sleepover at my house; but usually if they allow their kids to sleepover on Saturdays, they expect their kids to attend church with there families Sunday morning. Once my friends found out that I wasn’t Mormon they started to ask me all these questions, like: ‘why do you dress so conservative then? What does your family usually do on Sunday? Are you allowed to watch rated R movies? The vicious cycle had once again started, and it was even worse this time around. It was in those last few months of Middle school I realized; I was done living up to everyone else’s expectations.

I hit a point in my life where I blamed everyone; friends, family, religion, even Utah itself. I held in hatred for so long, as I felt cheated and tricked with no way out. I got to college, where I met people from all around the world. I was beginning to understand; I felt like a caged animal for so long. However, that wasn’t the case; I was not born into a cage, for it was the only life I had ever known. In your life people do what they think is best for you, even though it may not be best for you in the future. Your past doesn’t define what you will become, but it can help give insight and structure for your future. I grew up in a society I did not belong in, however it kept me safe and gave me a different perspective on many things. Utah gave me great friends and gave me a sense of home, and above all structure. Sometimes as a parent you have to make judgment calls on where you think your child will thrive in most, for mine it was a state with low crime rate and good schools. My sister and I turned out pretty decent, and I will never have to wonder ‘what if’ if I was raised a different way or in another state. To this day am proud to say, growing up Utah was the best decision my parents ever made.