Four Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

We often talk about what we would tell our younger selves. Maybe we would warn them of something that is going to happen that is out of their control. Perhaps we would tell them what to look forward to or something they shouldn't do.

So it is in that same spirit that I propose a little challenge so we can learn a little bit more about each other. Pick an age and then tell us what you tell them. Then tell us the story behind it.

***

8 years old: "Don't cut your hair. Better yet, don't even look at those scissors."

My hair and I have been on quite a journey. At this point, my hair was midway down my back; "Shirley temple curls" my mom called them. Due my wild child antics, my mom braided up my hair, either in many box braids or two Laura Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie) braids.

One day after have multiple box braids in for many days, I offered to help take them out. After slowly taking out quite a few, I grew frustrated with my hair constantly tangling and what felt like a lack of progress. (I was eight years old; patience was not a good friend of mine.) My eyes wandered, landing on a pair of scissors on the bathroom counter. Without much thought, I picked them up.

An unknown number of braids fell victim before my mom caught me. I guess I'm just thankful I didn't go through more.

This lead to a long, multi-year struggle of growing and learning how to properly take care of my hair. One good thing about the journey is I fell in love with my curly hair, a part of me I didn't like.

An extra note: My hair has been cut multiple times since then. (By a professional of course.)

10 years old: "Your body is beautiful, no matter what anyone else says and what changes it goes through."

"You are too skinny." Those words impacted me in ways I never would have expected at 10 years old. Let it be clear, I was an extremely active child and yes, I was "skinny," but was healthy. But with this statement coinciding with my body going through puberty, it sparked a still ongoing line of body image issues. I started to eat more with the hope I wouldn't be skinny anymore, and was devasted when I didn't gain much weight.

Then the opposite occurred when I was in the 10th grade. My metabolism and physical activity slowed, a Lyme's diagnosis, and depression lead to a significant weight gain. Suddenly, I was "fat" and "overweight," and I still couldn't fall in love with my body.

I still struggle today, but I am happy to say I love my body most days. I take the time to find outfits I feel great in and replace "fat" with the word "plus-size." Eating right and exercising consistently is still hard, but I am still trying.

To all of you: You are beautiful people, no matter your age, body type, or skin color. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

15 years old: "Tell Mom."

About three months ago, I wrote about my worst experience with sexual harassment.

While relating my story, I admitted that I didn't tell anyone until many years later for fear I wouldn't get any help until it was too late.

Even now as I look back, I'm not sure I would have told anyone then. Eventually, and recently, I told my mom the truth. There were a lot of tears and "I'm sorries." It felt like a weight was lifted off of me and I am glad I did tell her, even if it was years too late.

A more recent conversation with my mom helped me realized if I took my present self and placed myself in my 15 year old self, I would have told someone. Yes, I would have still be terrified of what he would have done, but I wouldn't have held on to such a trauma alone for as long as I did.

Plus, there is an underlying guilt that there could be others who might have suffered at this guy's hands after he disappeared. I hope there aren't, but I'll never know that for sure.

23 years old: "Just get the Kindle."

I became part of the KU (Kindle Unlimited) crowd at the end of 2021. All my reading with KU was on an app on my phone, which didn't happen often because I preferred reading the paper copy. After a couple of years, my boss made a couple of great points that convinced to by my first and, so far, only Kindle.

To the paper copy enthusiasts who are on the fence about purchasing a Kindle, I'll mention the same benefits that were told to me. One, it is the closest thing to have a book in your hand in terms of an electronic copy. And two, it is great for traveling. No need to pack a bunch of books when you already have some downloaded on one device. Of course, the decision is up to you.

***

I hope you enjoy this piece. If you participate, please share them with me and other readers in the comment section below.