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Father Daniel - a childless priest who educates the children of others.

(A childhood memory)

By Estera LupuPublished 2 years ago • 4 min read
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Father Daniel - a childless priest who educates the children of others.
Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

I recently heard of this father Daniel, a family friend of some sorts. One of my relatives said like a good health wish for him when she heard of him. This made me feel something interesting about father Daniel.

I met him only a couple of times when I was a small child, like 2 decades ago and I have only one memory of him. And when I heard my mom talk about him, wishing him good health, that memory came to mind.

I was on a trip with my eldest brother who is also an orthodox priest, but a great one comparing to father Daniel. I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, and this maybe one of my very few memories of that time.

First, let me tell you something about father Daniel, he is an orthodox priest, he is married (only because you can’t be a priest unmarried) to a very nice and beautiful teacher lady, but the interesting thing is, they have an agreement to live in abstinence for all of their marriage, so, to never have sex or children.

Coming back to my trip over there, a beautiful country side village, with old houses built on edges of the hills, mountains even, breathtaking place. There was some kind of religious celebration, people gathered, I don’t remember much about that, I only remember that the good old priest tried to teach me a lesson about good behavior.

Priests here used to be very respected, maybe one of the few people with education in the village, alongside with a doctor, if there even is one, which rarely is, and maybe the mayor. But the respect for priests is long gone now. Maybe that’s why I have now the guts to see things as they are.

A friend of my brother started playing with me alongside the people who were coming down the road with the religious gathering. We were chasing around, climbed on some kind of small brick wall, he was holding my hand as I was walking on that brick wall. Could’ve been a beautiful memory.

Until father Daniel intervened, made me climb down and punished me by grabbing my ear and twisting it pretty hard in front of many people. He was a stranger to me, I only knew like 2 people with whom I rode in the car to that place. I felt embarrassed and I didn’t understand why was I punished. I didn’t do anything by myself, I was only playing around with an adult who was supposed to know better, if what we did was even inappropriate, we were not making any trouble, we were not loud. I didn’t understand why was I punished if I didn’t do anything wrong.

Maybe that was the time I started to have mixed feeling about father Daniel. He is very loved by many people, including my family. He is a good priest I presume, but I can never forget how he made a 6-8-year-old girl who didn’t feel loved enough as it is, and will never feel many years from that moment. Not until I met the right people and learned that it’s me the most important person in the world and I’m supposed to love myself harder than anyone.

Maybe he was annoyed by the fact that we didn’t walk in line with everyone else very quiet, maybe he was actually afraid that I would fall off. Nevertheless, he could’ve talked to me and made me understand what was that he wanted me to do.

I think that’s the most toxic form of child education, punishing without talking about why we are punishing. That’s only showing the child he is not loved and he did something wrong but make the child guess whatever was in your head that made you feel angry at that moment. But it’s definitely not the child that you are angry at, and that is only making the child have some days of consuming guilt and torment.

On top of that just think about how much that moment affected me if every time I hear of father Daniel I get a bitterness taste in my mouth.

Careful of who educates your child.

Childhood
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About the Creator

Estera Lupu

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