Dearest Mother

Dearest Mother,

I hope this letter reaches you before its too late. Before you make a final decision that will alter our lives forever. I sit here with my laptop open and struggle to find the best words to use when I tell you this. I worry that maybe your view of me will change drastically when I admit this. Well, here goes nothing. Id like you to think back to that fateful night just 5 years ago, the one that changed our lives and ruined what little relationship we had left. That night when everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. It was late summer and you were relaxing in the conservatory, you'd had a long day at work and just wanted five minutes of peace before you had to deal with the prospect of tomorrow. You had a cool glass of lemonade in one hand and a book in the other. I cant even remember what book you were reading, it was a romance novel wasn't it? You loved to read those, you loved to see happy relationships play out on the pages before you since the disaster that was your marriage to dad. I don't blame you, I've picked up that old habit now as well. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I think it was just past 7pm when I came running into the house screaming for help. You dropped the glass and book in unison as you heard my scream and came running to see what was wrong. I remember that look in your eyes when you saw all that blood. I remember you asking if I was hurt. I remember the panic in your voice when you asked me whose it was if its not my blood. I remember your steps faltering as I told you it wasn't important and that I just needed help. You reached for the landline to call for help and I stopped you. Do you remember what I said to you? I begged you not to call the police, I pleaded with you as they wouldn't understand. You grabbed me a wash cloth and lead me to the downstairs bathroom as I explained to you what had happened. I told you id stumbled across a body in the woods behind our house. I told you how mangled and unrecognisable the body was. Id been playing in the woods with a couple of my friends, just climbing trees and choosing one that we could make a treehouse in. You'd bought us some wood to start off with and tonight we'd finally got the foundations in place. Once I was cleaner you asked me to elaborate. I told you what I had seen, there was a man in those woods that night. He didn't look human. He had grabbed one of the teens we had been playing with. I hadn't even asked the boy his name before he was taken from us. All I did know was he had moved into one of the empty houses on the next street and my friend had invited him out with us, he was 15 the same as us and he seemed to be very helpful with the treehouse.

After id finished explaining to you what id seen you told me to go upstairs, get changed and grab a book I've already read before, when I asked why you wouldn't tell me. I did it straight away, I grabbed one of my animal books that I loved growing up and started reading. I must have fallen asleep as when I next opened my eyes it was dark outside. I ran down stairs to come talk to you but I couldn't find you. I had started to panic when you walked back through the door. You didn't speak to me, you didn't even look at me, you just went straight upstairs and jumped in the shower. When I did finally get to talk to you and ask what you'd been doing you just told me it was all sorted now and that I needed to go to sleep. We didn't mention it again and it wasn't until a week later when to police knocked the door that I realised what you had done. You'd found the body and hidden it, you'd tried so hard to cover it up but they had found him and you had left fingerprints and DNA all around the area he was taken to. You asked me to be honest that day the police came, you asked me if I had anything to do with how the boy had gotten hurt. I said no obviously, why would I hurt another child, what could he have possibly done to deserve that and why would you even think I was capable of that! The police took you away to question and after a long few months of investigation and court cases you were found guilty. They didn't think you had murdered him but they knew you had moved him and they couldn't understand why. You wouldn't tell them anything, you kept quiet all this time. They stopped me from seeing you and I've only recently been allowed to write to you.

Its been a long five years mom and I miss you. Its not been the same living with dad. It never will be the same again. But I need to get this off my chest, I need you to know the truth before it is too late. I was telling the truth that night when I came home covered in blood, I was telling the truth when I told you I hadn't done anything wrong. You didn't believe me and I was so angry at you. I'm your only daughter and you couldn't believe me for just one night. Well that moment of doubt from you made me realise nobody else would believe me either. So that's when I phoned the police and told them what you had done, I told them you went out in your car and the GPS was traced to find his body. I told them that you came home dirty and tired and jumped straight in the shower. I told them everything I knew. I was so angry with you mom but I promise I didn't mean to ruin your life. I just thought you'd be told off for moving the body. I didn't know you could actually go to jail. But still to this day I don't regret what I did. You ruined our relationship mom, if you'd have believed me I'd still be living with you. Why was it so hard for you? Why did you think I was capable of such horrid things. I still miss you mom but maybe if there is a next time you won't doubt me. Or maybe next time I will have done something wrong and you wont believe that either. Anyway, that is my big confession, I was innocent just like I told you five years ago. But you were not so innocent. What you did was terrible and you will pay that price for the rest of your life. I'm glad dad got me a good therapist, it was her idea to confess this to you, I just hope you don't take this as an invitation to fix our relationship. That ship sailed long ago mom and it will never be returning. I wish things had gone differently that night but maybe if they did I wouldn't be sat writing this to you now.

Goodbye mom, from your now free daughter.