Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I know that I can be testing sometimes, and I know I get too stressed out at times. Like you, I have my problems; after all, I am only human. However, I thought you understood, and my questions were only to protect my heart, dignity, and soul. Sometimes, we have to ask those uncomfortable questions, even if they cause awkward moments.

Yes, I agree; maybe I should trust you more, but we have only been friends for a few months, and there are some things that a person can be unsure of in such little time.

In true friendship, trust still matters even when we are not romantically connected.

There are very few people I trust. I have been hurt constantly since a young age, and trust does not come easy to me.

People get hurt online, and people get hurt offline.

You might not understand, unless you have been seriously hurt yourself, but when one has dealt with pain and traumatic circumstances all her life, trust does not come easy, and it makes it harder to accept any kind of help or affection.

You know that I never meant to hurt you, and I'm not going to tell anyone what you did that put me on the red alert button, but I must clearly tell you that, anyone would be in the same as me, if someone they knew did something so personal too quick into that friendship.

You told me that everything was ok, though you haven't spoken to me for months and that kind of hurts.

I don't know what I did wrong, other than try to explain my kind of story, and you said that you understood.

We made up, and now it feels like you're ghosting me.

True friends don't do that, especially if they want a 'honest and open friendship,' like the one you said you wanted with me.

We could talk about this, and there is still time. However, this is not the right way to build a friendship based on the kind of trust that you said you wanted from me.

The question is;

What do I do?

Do I wait, or leave it?

I don't want to have a toxic-friendship where we walk out on each other, everytime we disagree. I want a friendship that listens, supports and understands; one where we can build trust up over time, rather than in a day, which is not possible for either of us.

It starts with one call. It could start with a cup of coffee or tea somewhere safe where we can chat.

I will leave it up to you, but I am not going to apologise for doing the right thing in very unnerving circumstances.

I am going to throw the responsibility back to you, because I have done my part by explaining what the problem is.

The question is can you look deep into your heart and soul, accept, and try to work this out in the manner that mature friends do.

You'd be wrong to say that I. do not want this friendship, because I really do, though while I love the fact that you are famous, that is not the reason I like you.

I like you because I know you have a caring heart, I love your humour, and I enjoy your company more than your fame.

Sure, I like your music; but a friend who has good qualities that reflect in themselves, is worth more than fame itself.

I will hold on to my heart, until you decide that our friendship is worth contacting me more, and making the leap into not hiding our friendship; not even from the professionals involved with you.

I won't ruin your singing career. I can sing too, but I am willing to be proud of our friendship.

The question is;

Are you ready to take the leap, and stop hiding us from the world?

Love,

Carol.