Braless & Wet On A Bolt Bus

Picture it

NYC

2010 ish

Hey hey what it do; How’s it goin? How are you?

Most of you know by now that in order to make ends meet, MiMi had a myriad of jobs. I was a Health & Welfare Benefits Specialist during the day; and in the evenings and on Saturdays I taught English Composition at the local college.

I remind y’all about this to merely point out a few facts:

One-I had very little free time.

Two-I STILL had very little money because

Three-Rent is/was/will always be high in New Jersey.

Despite all of this, I became the transportation escort for my granddaughter who would visit her father in the summer.

I typically didn’t mind because it gave me an opportunity to visit my daughter who was at the time residing on a military base on the West Coast.

In this particular story, I had to travel to Washington State. For the life of me I can’t remember the name of the base, but I reckon it was a base that housed both the Marines and the Navy.

Anyhow, anywho ,this was also the time when I had to purchase my return ticket home 🙄.

(Don’t ask, it’s a long convoluted tale of sociopathic selfishness.)

I couldn’t afford the ticket so I got a “hook up”from a coworker 🤷🏻‍♀️. Details of that will also be left out because I’m almost one hundred 💯 percent sure how it happened wasn’t legal🤭🤫 🤣.

But I had to get home, right?

Right, I had three jobs and not enough vacation time to relax.

Now although I LIVED in New Jersey, the airport one FLIES out of is Philadelphia International which, for all intents and purposes, was twenty minutes away from my home.

The airport in New Jersey, Newark Liberty International, is over an hour away; and that’s only if there’s no traffic.

And that’s where my “hook up” ticket landed 🛬 .

Before I left for Washington State, I made arrangements with a “neighbor friend” to pick me up from Newark Liberty International Airport upon my return.

I even called said “neighbor friend” while I was still IN Washington to make sure she was still coming to get me.

She said she was.

She, in fact, did not.

She is no longer my neighbor nor my friend.

So after about an hour and a half of waiting at the airport, I realized I was not getting picked up. I knew NO-ONE who lived nearby and had no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ how in the entire hell I was gonna get home.

But I’m also not shy ,so I found security guard and an airport employee and they informed me there was a shuttle that would take me into New York City and from there I could take something called a Bolt Bus to Philadelphia.

So, while I’m on the long ass shuttle ride in rush hour traffic to NYC, it begins to rain. Initially it didn’t bother me because ,of course, I’m on the shuttle , dry. But when the shuttle came to the end of the line and I had to get off, of course it started thunder storming. ⛈

So I’m in downtown Manhattan carrying two duffel bags and no umbrella 🌂 trying to find where I’m supposed to find this gat damn Bolt Bus stop, and my bra decides to give up on life and break right in the middle.

🤬🤬🤬

I’m a short girl, not a thin girl, and my bra has the f*ckin wing span of a small hawk.

🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s pouring rain and the guy in the pizza parlor didn’t speak English , so he didn’t understand the urgency and wouldn’t let me use the restroom unless I was a paying customer. I had an extra bra in one of my bags, I just needed some kindness. 😢

What did MiMi do?

MiMi walked up to the counter, put my bags down reached under my sweatshirt, took off my broken bra and flung it at him.

🤷🏻‍♀️ If he called the cops, I could get a ride home 🤣🤣🤣

For grins and giggles, while you’re picturing that happening, sing the chorus of “Take These Broken Wings” by Mr. Mister.

🤷🏻‍♀️ What, it made MiMi laugh.

🤣🤣🤣

#ISWISAIIWII

I did finally find the Bolt Bus that was going to Philly. And how cool was it that the seats had cell phone USB chargers in them??? That was pretty high tech for 2010 ish!!!

I breathed a huge sigh of relief & began charging my phone. I let my mother know I would be back in South Jersey later that evening and managed to calm down.

That is until the driver turned the air conditioning on.

🥶🥶🥶

By the time I got to Philly, I was sick as hell and wound up using what was left of my sick time.

Moral(s) of the story:

•Book your own flights!

•Buy better bras!

•F*ck bitches; get money!

I know the last part made no sense lemme lone 🤣🤣🤣.

And all of this was BEFORE MiMi began my 🌱 journey.

Right.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to.

✌🏼💜💨

Peace, Love, Exhale