Betrayal

To be in a relationship and be the recipient of authentic love and affection is something that not all are fortunate to experience. When you find your person, it is a true gift and truly gives you a new perspective on life.

Being the oldest, I've always try to set the example for my siblings. I wanted to shelter them from the pain that comes with heartbreak. The way it feels like your entire world just got ripped from under your feet. You go about your days being constantly reminded of the memories that you shared. It's not easy. You won't be able to get over it quickly either.

My siblings and I always used to bicker when we were younger. We saw each other as being too different to get along with. It was like, they'll never understand. Now it's pretty crazy the way we've come together. We can truly rely on each other, confide in each other, and seek comfort in each other. For that I am extremely grateful. We have grown from our experiences and we have matured. With maturity also comes defensiveness. It's the mindset of, "you better not do anything to hurt them because you're going to regret it." There are so many angry thoughts that come flooding into my mind at the thought of one of my siblings hurting.

I've come to learn that my siblings are a lot like me in the way that when we love, we love hard. We go out of our way for those we care about. We make sacrifices, take on extra jobs to be able to have extra money to spoil the ones we love, lose sleep so we can spend time with them. We go above and beyond when we're committed. Even after the fact, we are loyal because although we may be hurting and wish the outcome would've been different, we don't wish harm on them.

From personal experience, I have ended on relatively good terms with most of my exes. Some of them may have ended things awfully with me, but I wish them no harm. I was involved in a six year relationship that lasted from 2011-2017. I truly believed this guy was going to be with me until the end of time, but one day after I had graduated from college, he bluntly said, "I'm talking to somebody else. I don't love you anymore. I'm going to block you on everything. Don't ever talk to me again." As if the past six years and the memories we made meant absolutely nothing... When you have that happen to you, it makes you wonder where it all went wrong, maybe you did something, but let me tell you what I've learned. It's not your fault.

If the journey of love and relationships has taught me anything, it's that not everyone is worth your time or tears. These awful experiences are lessons on who to avoid in life and who doesn't deserve you. Most of the time when things don't work out, it's because people are projecting their own insecurities. They make you feel crazy and make you think you're the problem.. that's called gaslighting.

Let me tell you a tale, recently a loved one of mine has separated from someone they've spent six years with. He devoted his time and energy to this individual, spoiling HER every chance he got. He would lose sleep to spend time with HER, picked up a second job to make more money for HER, did things for HER mom or sister. She returned the favor by belittling him, saying she regrets exploring their relationship and wishing she would've pursued her other suitor at the time. He tried explaining to her he had no intention of starting a relationship with anyone else and that he was going to wait until he had options later down the road. She later went on to tear him down and tell him he was NOBODY.

Even more disrespectful, she went to her friends and started spreading false claims to them.. They then in return start belittling him and putting him down for his personal struggles and mental health.... This is the part that angered me the most... If you ever genuinely cared about a person or were a decent human being, you would never unpack intimate details, like those regarding mental health, to be used against them. That just speaks volumes of the pathetic, insecure person YOU are. No one's mental health should ever be attacked because that's an unstable topic as it is and YOU have no idea what successes or failures that individual has had to endure... Even more ironic is HER friend has a name out of the Bible and for her to say the things she said to him is going to land her a nice warm seat in the firey depths of HELL.

DON'T YOU EVER project your insecurites on anyone else. If you're unhappy, that's because YOU'RE doing something wrong. That's pathetic. Sickening. Unbelievable. YOU don't deserve him and his life will be so much better WITHOUT YOU. You lost the best person with the biggest heart...