Back To Me

Back to me.

Back to my roots.

Back to my essence.

Back to my descendants.

Back to my maiden name.

Back to my heritage.

Back to me.

Back to family.

Back to my identity.

When I clocked in this morning for work, Thanksgiving week.

My name was back to its glorious self.

Joyful tears from my eyes.

Thank YOU, Hashem.

Thank You for bringing me back to me.

Names mean so much to me.

The significance.

The lineage.

The history.

The family.

The uniqueness of each one.

Mine.

This year has been ending in a positive way.

I’m being restored.

I’m rediscovering myself.

I’m finding love, care and patience in the heart of a man I’ve always admired.

I’m so speechless with how so many of my prayers have been answered.

I’m so grateful, Hashem.

The water lantern festival was very sweet.

Couples and families all around.

Little children running around and the atmosphere just reminded me so much of him.

I thought about him the entire time.

I messaged my bestie how much I missed him.

I messaged him too.

It was beautiful.

The actual area/park, the way everyone has blankets on the floor and looked at the water.

We all built out lanterns.

I decided to decorate mine at home.

I have no reason for “letting go” of anything.

I’ve let go all i wanted and needed.

Physically.

Mentally.

Spiritually.

Thank You, Hashem.

My mind feels so light.

I’ve been able to process stress better without immediately going into a panic attack.

Socializing with friends and other people hasn’t been so awkward.

The people that caused me so much abuse, so much anger and pure sadness.

I wish them all the best.

I wish them peace.

I also wish them far away from me for the rest of the remainder of my life.

I gave them so much of myself I ran on empty and negative even for so many years.

Expensive gifts after mistreating/invaliding me has never impressed me. You can keep all of your gifts to yourself.

I pray to teach my future children about genuine love.

About the importance of significance when gifting some you love/care about.

The importance of a family, of knowing who you are and where you came from.

The importance of trusting Hashem in all circumstances.

The importance of hard work and celebrating little steps.

When things don’t happen just the way we wanted, there’s always reason.

I’m so thankful my happily ever after didn’t happen when I wanted.

I didn’t realize how I did need space to grow and detach myself from so much toxicity.

Like a time of healing in all aspects.

Also gave me time to understand my reasons for loving him.

My knight in shining armor.

He means so much to me.

Meu amor.

Amor da Minha vida toda.

Time can do two things.

Time can show you if your feelings for someone is true or just something temporary.

Sometimes we find ourselves infatuated, with people or things/places/moments.

Time is never truly a waste.

You just discover so much.

Time alone makes me just wish he was here with me.

Minha vida.

I can daydream about him all day.

One of the most precious memories I’ve got of us was when we saw each other again.

My hero.

My whole heart.

My answered prayer.

I never want to forget that day.

I’m praying I get to see him again.

I’m praying to be Us this time.

I miss him so much.

He makes me so happy.

I’m so thankful for him.

Thank You, Hashem.

Thank You for this wonderful man.

I’m forever grateful.