An imperfect fairy tale

it was about 2008, or 09' earlier or later the year. My parentes moved so much. Anywho, they moved to a another home in the same town we been living in, it was a nice home , next door were our new neighbors. We became befriended really fast even getting together during the holidays , summers, and even birthdays. Even today we still have a friendship, althought a little more distant, but can still chat like the old times. Reverse to some time after our families have befriended each other, at this time we are going to travel to, I was only about 18 or 19 years of age. Young and clueless lol. It was winter of either 2009/08, the holidays were in, this particular holiday was Thanksgiving and Christmas. As usual, I had gone next door to spend some time with my next door neighbors. I became good friends with one of family members, she is a niece to my neighbor. We really hit it off, and I am still grateful to today for our friendship, back to this particular day, it was a cold evening, I went next door to spend time with my neighbors and their family whom had visited, everyone was there, brothers, sisters, grandmas, granpas, uncles, nieces, nephews, you name it. In that crowd was a guy, he was about just about my age. No idea who was at the moment and you would figure I should know but I never asked. I did come to find out he was on break from military duty. I do recall seeing his photo at my neighbor's mother's home.( Yeah, I been there too! )thats how close my family and I became with our neighbors. Back to this boy, the first time I saw him I thought he was amazing, I was already an introverted and super shy person, I am thinking, only in my mind it's a fantasy if we were to hit it off. For starters, he was really cute, short hair, bright brown eyes, nice lips, and due to being in military which I don't know if it had anything to do with physique, but for me , he seemed physically attractive as well. He was also funny. Right away I had on crush on this boy. He and his family ( mom, sister, nephews, and nieces) were visiting for the holidays and staying in the same house.

Knowing this, I would visit daily just to see his face and enjoy his presence despite my quiet, shy personality. However, something amazing happened, over time he gained interested and sparked conversation one evening on the kitchen table, and we hit it off well. I wasn't super shy all of a sudden. I mean I still was a little but we seemed to have shared alot in common that I felt comfortable. As we conversed a little more each day , one thing led to the other.

On a cold Saturday or Friday night, all the members of the family including myself had planned to go out that night and so we all did, not the grownups (think moms pops, etc ) That night, everyone had a blast, and we tried to cheat our way in getting some drinks into the bar since we weren't at drinking age! During such a short time spending time with this particular guy I had a crush on, we started to like each other more, or I'd like to think. One time we all went out once again, we came back home to where my friend's house, she is the niece of my neighbor. I remember we had drinks at her house, we were all buzzed, having a great time. Everyone was hanging out in the house , while myself, just wearing a spagetti strap tank top shirt and my crush went out to the back door where the porch going to the backyard was. We sat there just talking about different things, mind you that night must have been like 20 degrees outside! I felt nothing at all. We were just chatting away and if I remember correctly , even kissed a little. After the weekend would be over, I would report to my job (yes, I had a job lol). I worked at an unemployment office. I recall one time he surprised me with a visit. He stopped by and went to the front desk asking for me. I believe it was the end of my shift. He was riding along with his mom and my neighbor. We went to a hibachi place after my shift ended. He was so sweet is all I could remember. I would always talk to my neighbor the many times I would go over her house and give her company and I would always express to her how much I liked him and how much we had in common.

Fast forward all these good times, the time finally came. The family was heading back to their out of state home including him. He especially since he had to report back to his station. The night before they were going to leave, he and I nearly spend an hour in the car (I believe his moms' or maybe was a rental) but I know we walked together to the car or truck and there we stayed steadily kissing until it was time we realized everyone will wonder where we were! Before he had gone back , we made arrangements that we could still see each other at the military base he was staying. We agreed that we could both pitch in on flight tickets for me to fly to Seattle WA, which is where he was residing at the time.

Ever since this arrangement, I was flying across the US just to spend time with this guy. The frequency would range a couple to a few times a month and it had continued for about 3 months or so. It was an official long distance relationship. Each time I would visit, he would be waiting for me outside the airport, and we would either rent a motel or stay in one of the stations. During the day we went out, at night just chill. Leaving back home was always the worst part. We shared the same taste in music. Some of those songs I still love today but unfortunetly bring me back to the past. I know that at that time he was a fan of Ne Yo, an R&B singer .

But, something strange started happening after our 3 month bond, gradually I would spend more money from my pocket to go see him, not that the tickets were expensive, but it was outside of our arrangement at the time. And then it got worse. He never texted me back for a period of about 2 weeks. I was upset, I understand that he was in the Navy and I knew to expect times where I couldn't hear from him, but trusting he would always come back to me but he never did. I had checked in with his mom and even my neighbors . Nobody said nothing bad happened. I continued to worry with sadness each day. After nearly 2 weeks of waiting for a reply and after the many times I messaged him, he finally tells me it couldn't work out anymore between us. What bugs me today is that he never disclosed the motive of why. Did he cheat, did he meet someone new, did he not like me anymore? He refused to tell me why. We stopped talking at that time and ever since I never heard from him.

So far its been more than ten years, however, he still crosses my mind from time to time. Some times I go back so deep in some of my clear memories that I even cry. All I wish I could ever know was why? And sometimes I let it make me insecure such as having thoughts of whether I wasn't good looking enough, or pretty enough for him, or there was something he didn't like about me.

Was I obssessed? Maybe. I know it sounds like I was, I was fooled because we had alot in common; beliefs, music, food, family values etc. As a matter of fact when we used to talk over the phone back when he was back at the military station, we would be on the phone for over an hour. Just talking about anything. I have always admired that connection in couples to this day, to just immerse in conversation about anything because you share so much in common.

Being with him felt like a fairy tale. Fast forward today, I feel ashamed and compelled to ask his cousin, whom is my friend still today, if she knew any motive about the break up. I refuse to expose my weaknesses and integrity so I learned to let it go. I could never find him on social media, I no longer of course have any contact either. I simply moved on. Conclusion is that I really liked this person and I wish he was mine but that was only a fairy tale short lived. To me he was so perfect that I now feel imperfect.

The end.