Adolfo

I’ve never looked at a pair of boxer briefs the same since 2014. It’s just one of the many reasons my friends expect things to go left when we all get together. My two best friends and I were moving to our college campuses in the upcoming fall and we decided to take a road trip that summer before our new lives began. What better way to spend it by going to Six Flags Fiesta Texas? We were so excited to take our first (and last) solo trip before adulthood. The drive was mostly nothing out of the ordinary; a couple of hours from Houston to San Antonio.

When we arrived, we exchanged looks, because to be honest, it looked kind of sketchy. America’s Best Inn and Suites. I will never forget that name, but I guess that's the price we paid in order to check in without someone 21 and over. We ran some errands after check in, like going to the grocery store and getting racially profiled because we looked suspicious while getting lost trying to find tampons in Central Market (which is another ordeal). One of us had never eaten at Sonic before and tried walking into the building, which was hilarious, and finally returned to our room that evening.

Okay, here’s where things start to escalate, so pay attention. The first thing one of my friends did was check the drawers to make sure they were clean before putting her things inside. I paid her no mind, because who uses those? However, I did happen to notice that they were pretty nice and completely empty. Before she had the chance to get unpacked, we got the amazing idea to make use of the pool since there was no curfew. Looking back, that was definitely another red flag. We changed quickly and headed out, but not before stopping by the lobby to get towels and the code to the pool. By now it was night and apparently the lobby was closed, so instead there was a door with a window to ring for help. After getting what we needed, the guy at the counter remarked, “Don’t go skinny dipping.” and giggled before walking away. That was a little creepy considering we were all barely of legal age. We shrugged it off and enjoyed our late night swim. It was really lovely to vibe and talk about our plans as well as reflect on life. Eventually, we were past the point of pruning and decided to wrap it up for the night.

We walked back to our room, carefully to avoid “Skinny Dipping” guy on the way. I distinctly remember being second in line to shower, laying upside down on one of the beds, awaiting my turn. One of us is in the shower, and the other is finally getting to unpack her things into the dresser drawers. Out of nowhere she shrieks and falls on the floor. My first instinct is laughter because I assume she found a bug somewhere. Then she starts saying “Look in the drawer?!”, and I’m confused because we’d all seen how it was completely empty earlier. So I go over to look, and there’s a single white pair of boxers in the previously empty drawer. She’s exclaiming now, “There are boxers in the drawer!” Our other friend comes out of the bathroom after hearing us laughing out of fear.

I was hoping she’d say, “Oh, I saw those in there earlier”, but her eyes widened and said the opposite. My friend who discovered them holds them up with a pen, and there’s a nice yellow stain on them to add insult to injury. Across the waistband, there’s a giant word branded: ADOLFO. At this point, there’s only silence. My other friend walks back towards the restroom and asked who’d already brushed their teeth. There was now a healthy scoop of blue toothpaste in the sink, and no-one had brushed their teeth because we’d gone to the store earlier to pick up some. Lastly, I remembered that we’d left the TV on before heading out to the pool and it hadn’t even been two hours. I rationalized it and said maybe it went into rest mode while we were out. So at least that problem was solved.

However, we’re already freaking out, in denial, and going through a list of possible explanations for the chances of two things, possibly a third, being tampered with in our room. It only made sense that someone had been inside, so I ran over to lock the deadbolt only to discover that it was broken. Plan B. We pushed the couch in front of the door and debated what to do next. We were extremely close to packing up and heading home because what would our parents say if they found out we’d stayed. The creepy lobby staff were in the line of suspects so we definitely couldn’t reach out to them for help. Eventually, we finished getting settled in and laid up in anticipation until we fell asleep. When we woke up, the TV was still on.

Long story short, we had a blast at Six Flags and checked out safely. We never told our parents about that part of the trip, and now every time I hear the name Adolfo or see white boxers, I cringe. Occasionally we send photos of the hotel sign whenever one of us is traveling or just say the word, “Adolfo” and laugh. I guess it was worth the risk though.