A teenager's cringe-ful moments

High school for me seemed a little daunting at the begging of year 7, but not too long afterwards, I settled in and began making friends, I was a shy and quite girl.

After a few months had passed, I had noticed this tanned guy with brown hair and hazel eyes walking towards the train station.

I thought he looked kind of cute, but I had not seen him at school before.

He was at school the next day, and that’s when it all began..

Day after day, I would glance his way, at recess, lunch and on the way home . Trying my best not to make it too obvious, but Started to stare back as well.

You just get this feeling, that someone’s staring, then they would look away, as soon you catch them out.! I had done my research, he was in year 9 only two years above me.

So we did our little ‘flirting-tango’ thing at school and then I’d see him on the weekend’s with his mates, skateboarding around.

By this stage, I had told mum all about him, and coming from a Greek background, a good Greek mum would have to suss him out.!

She approved, so we started venturing out on these expeditions, we went for walks near where he lived. We also had close family friend’s who had a takeaway near by, so it didn’t look to obvious.

She knew I liked him.. a lot! That’s why she came with me .

We went to the beach and occasionally he’d be there, he did (look) I made sure, mum would be on the look out for me.!

Now, with all of this flirting going on, we had NEVER spoken at all.!!

The only time I (ever) had him physically touch me.. one weekend, some family friend’s a brother and sister and I we went to the shops.

We were browsing through the shop’s, I saw some (dudes- as I had written in my diary!!) yes they’d seen me, with my friends.

Monday morning, as usual after the bell rang, we all assembled for assembly at the middle of the courtyard.

All of a sudden, I felt an elbow on my back, and I was pushed.!!

I yelled out “Hey, watch it” then I realised it was (him), I had no idea why, then I remembered on the weekend, when I was with my friend’s, his friends must of said something to him, now was he jealous.??

Number 1

Valentine’s day, I was in year 8 and (he) was in year 10. I got the courage to buy a rose at school, first period had passed and it was recess, I was very nervous, I tried to see if he’d got it, but I saw no rose!

I was really bummed, I thought what an idiot I was, thinking he probably had chucked it in the bin.

Second period, I was in my History class and (he) was across the hallway in English class.

I heard the girls going around to all of the classrooms, handing out more flowers.

All of a sudden, I heard a loud ‘wolf whistle’ coming from across the other room, I knew he’d got it. No, I did not put my name on it.. only your secret Valentine.!

By lunchtime, he looked very cheerful, I still did not see a rose.

After school finished, I saw him walking towards the station, and it was peaking out of his bag. (The )

Number 2

I found his home phone number. I got the courage and I CALLED..

His younger brother answered the phone, I asked for him by name, and said it’s a ‘friend’ .. ‘my heart was pounding.’

He came to the phone with a “Yo” I was like “oh, hi I’m a friend of..... at school” he pretended not to know me (Or my ‘friend') .. Yeah, right! So I said “oh, ok by” and I hung up.. and I BREATHED.!

Number 3

I nearly had an opportunity to chat to him... In the early 90’s our shopping centre would hold concerts for famous singer’s, actors and t.v stars come and perform.

This particular weekend, Michael Bolton ( a singer) was there, singing and signing autographs.

Mum and I loved his songs, we both gathered around to listen to him perform down by the stage. Afterwards mum went downstairs to purchase his album .

Guess who peers around the corner, it was (him) he casually comes and stand an arms length away!! Ok, I must admit I was VERY nervous heart thumping and sweating, but I was about to ask him, if he liked this kind of music.. a little old lady.. literally walks in, right between us.!! not long after he left.

Number 4

In my English class, we got given a novel to read and write about, as I opened the book, at the very first page, there’s a stamped area to write your name, so the library knows who has borrowed the books.

Second row down, (his) name was in there!

I could not believe that I was reading the exact same copy he had read. What are the chances of the teacher, handing me that book? Was it fate.?

I still have that exact novel in my possession! I never gave it back..

Number 5

When I was in year 9 I went on holidays to Greece, with mum, I had fun, seeing my relatives, but I did miss him.. heaps!

As you know, I had his address, (actually I had memorized it!) .. I did it, I sent him a POST CARD... maybe I thought he needed to know that I still thought of him, no matter the miles apart.. (Ohh dear – younger self!)

Number 6

I gave him a nickname..

Sometimes at school, you could use the school computers at lunchtime to play games. I had spent a few lunches in there myself.

Sometimes I would peak outside the window, down to the courtyard, to see if he’s searching for me, well I had thought he did, he’d look over ( Or as per my diary entry..) he ‘scanned’ over to where all my other girls were sitting..! Weeks later, I was found by his mates he then showed up too.

One day, I asked a guy class, if he could go up to the computer room to see if there’s a guy in there, that ‘looks like a fish’..... his nickname was the FISH... ( Ohh God).. Tom, repeated the question back to me, he must of thought I was LOOPY.!

Well, he did actually check, and replied, “no, no-one in there that looks like a fish -hahaha, so who is the LOOPY one.?

One Sunday morning, a older girlfriend, took me for a drive down to the local beach, as I was walking on the esplanade towards the shop’s for a coffee for us, I saw him walking towards me, I panicked.. and immediately turned around and walked back... I don’t know if he saw me, if he did, I must of looked like a total fool.

Number 7

He was graduating that Friday .. so I decided to write on the wall, where the seniors would sit, just my initials.. nothing else.

Monday after school, I saw his initials underneath mine.. Ohh I was happy, but sad at the same time, he was left!..

I did see him a bit, after he left school also he and his family had moved (my detective skills found out !) I knew where he was.

The ast time I saw him, was at a nightclub, my friend and I were on the dance floor, a popular song came on, by Jagged Edge (‘let’s get married’) we danced right next to each other, but he didn’t say anything.. again.!

Number 8

I worked with a lady, I found out knew him pretty well.

Her son went to the same High school, and was best friends with (him) ...Yeah.. talk about a SMALL world...

I literally wanted to dive into a whole that day, she knew I liked him as well.. by this stage I was engaged, but to find out that she knew him I was in shock.

It felt a bit like the movie GREASE – the scene where Zuko, denies knowing Sandy in front of his friends, this is how I felt.

It was not cool to be seen or hanging out with the ‘unpopular girls’.. I was not in the popular group at school, and somehow people found out I liked him, I realised it when a girl (in my year) had supposedly tried asking him out, - I had no actual relationship with the guy, so I guess he could be with whom ever he liked.

She wasn’t happy that she got rejected, She told me, “you can have him, he wouldn’t go out with me.”

I was like, (woo-hooing ) inside, when she told me that. Sometimes even when you hike your skirt up to look sexier , cannot make a guy like you, but he still would not talk to me.

Do I have ANY regrets about my crazy shenanigans in my youth – NO

Yes, they were embarrassing and I have no clue why I did what I did, especially from a very shy, quite girl.

But, in a way I am glad that I did do it , it showed that I didn’t care if it was embarrassing or not.

I am really happy I had my mother with me the whole way.

She really knew I liked him, she did this to make me happy.

Thinking about it and remembering it all, brings back good memories.

I do wonder sometimes, what it would be like if I did speak to him, would I like the sound of his voice ? would we be compatible.?

It’s also the unknown, the ‘What if's.’