6 Things I want to Tell my Inner Child on Love, Life and Dreams

Dear Girl, It has been a long journey.

I still remember standing in front of a hazy almirah mirror and declaring it to my friends that “I am my first best friend”. I was 15 years old. I smiled at the rather confused expression of my friends reflected in the mirror.

I simply knew I was right.

But did I live up to the reputation?

Not at all.

I dropped off my boundaries, gave up on my values all because I wanted to win the approval of everyone.

I would let my soul be shredded in place for gaining entry into the addictive world called acceptance. Not any more. And everytime I blamed me, resented and ended up labelling me a failure. It did not help either.

Here are 10 things I want to tell myself, something I wish I did ages ago:

1. I will never give upon you, every single day

I love the dreamer that you are.

I love the energy you bring to anything you are passionate about.

I love how your face lights up at the prospect of meeting new people, buying a new watercolour set or talking about your business plans. I also acknowledge your loss of enthusiasm once the project gets tough. That's where I let self doubts creep in and before you know everything is gone. The stress and anxiety catches up.

For a change, let’s take breaks instead of giving up. Let's practice taking a pause and see if we need help.

I promise to be there all along.

2. Love till all your heart hurts, I will be there to heal you always

Let's admit it you love to love people and you want to be loved in return.

You have been a giver and also a reluctant receiver because you have been taught that to “deserve love” you must sacrifice your wishes. I'll tell you this, you have all the rights to be loved in return even without having to work for it. You deserve to be loved for all that you are without any disclaimers. But let none of these hearbreaks make you stop believing in the goodness of people around you. There are million of them, I swear.

Also, never doubt your love when you do not receive enough and be brave enough to walk away when you are left wondering about your place in someone’s life.

3. It's never too late to dream a new dream and we are in this together

I know, in an attempt to be practical I have let the cynicism of the world to topple you.

I have watched helplessly as you transitioned from an ambitious, invincible soul into a person struggling to find her place and doubting her existence. I have labelled you a “has been”, “ could have” by comparing you with other classmates who ended up in great careers and found love.

To be honest, I was forcing you to live a life of perfection which was “ taught” to us. A steady job, a loving partner, children and a home of your own by a certain age.

Just because a rule has been set for ages, it does not mean it's right and suitable for everyone. Stop giving up on your dreams, dare to dream new ones because you think are a failure. Failure is subjective.

For every second you are hoping and giving your best, you're already winning!

4. Give all that you are to this world - a 100%

I know what you love. Painting, writing your heart out, dancing, spending time with children, teaching them and posing for photos:)

Do them and do them all.

These are skills and gifts you have been given like everyone else. But where it gets unique is in the percentage of focus you give them. Focus on all the things you love and give back your gift of creativity to this beautiful world.

There is no need to look for the money, have something and I beg you to, to do things that take you to pure joy on a daily basis. Even if its for a goddamn 5 minutes.

5. Don't love the idea of being loved but choose to love the real person

It's one thing to look for love buts it's toxic to simulate love with people.

It's harmful to live in fantasy with people who are not ready for what you want. Do not live or put up with people just for the potential they could be.

Living in an illusion to run away from realities of the world is something you do and let's acknowledge that. It does not help to wait for people who you hope will suddenly change and realize how wonderful you are. It's plain stupidity.

And it also helps to communicate clearly if you are not too. A little hurting today can save year's of regret later.

6. I am sorry, I have been hurtful to you a million times

I know I have forced you to be a doormat to be accepted into new group of friends. I was scared people will leave you alone for the quirky person you are - by calling you weird.

I am sorry for asking you to accept being hurt, accept being ignored and sorry for making the process of loving people into a goal.

A person being non responsive to you most times is not a challenge, it's a sign they are not interested. Don't persist in winning their heart, that's not how relationship is supposed to work.

I would support you every step when you are drawing your boundaries with shaky hands and telling people off with an apologetic tone.

Your happiness matters and I will promise never to hurt you again.

Final Thoughts

Getting to know oneself is a journey in itself and today I make a promise to let go of resentments and live life with all that I have been given.

By acknowledging what lead to a strained relationship with myself, I am on my healing process.

I trust the path and I trust my inner child.