What’s going on?

A cold shiver ran up my spine as flooding thoughts raced through my mind. My life would change forever that day; I wasn't sure how, but everything moving forward would never be the same. I was a 6th grader, just minding my own business in pre-algebra class when I heard the call. “Mrs. Gorly, can you please have Jessica come to the front office?” “Jessica Graham?” she replied. “No, Phoenix,” they clarified, “Jessica Phoenix.”

I had never been called into the front office, not even once. Not even when I threw a rock at Connie Demilo that broke a window in the 3rd-grade classroom. Needless to say, I was worried. As I entered the brown double office doors, I heard a sound I'd never heard before. My mother was inside, sobbing uncontrollably. Her blouse was almost drenched in tears as she tried to compose herself once she saw me. “Hey, buttercup. You’re leaving early with me today. Ok?” She wiped her cheeks, quickly put on a smile (was it just me, or did it look forced?), and stood up. “Why? What happened?” I demanded, feeling my heart in my throat, sweat on my palms, and an unfamiliar feeling of worry. My mom said nothing, took me by the hand, and walked me to the car.

The second we got in the car, I grabbed my mother’s wrist, forcing her to look into my eyes. “Mom,” I said sternly, trying to keep my voice from shaking, “What happened?” “I’ll tell you when we get home, sweetie.” She said, gently removing my hand. Although I could tell she was trying to control them, she still had tears running down her rosy red cheeks. “Something happened. Something that will change your life forever. After today, our life will never be the same again. You’ll just have to be patient until we get home, alright? I want dad to tell you.” No, I was not alright. In fact, I was far from alright. What had happened that was so bad she couldn’t even tell me? I’ve always been a pessimist. Grabbing on to little happenings and thinking the worst. This didn’t sit right with me.

My heart pounded as I dropped into my seat, worst-case scenarios shooting through my mind. What was usually a relaxing drive home was now a tense drive towards danger, every second getting closer to tragic news. My mom’s eyes were on the road, but not with her usual easygoing gaze. It was more of a blank stare. I felt a chill shoot up my spine as we nearly ran a red light, and I got the feeling mom’s mind was somewhere else.

As we approached the house, I felt the ever-twisting knot in my chest grow tighter, my lungs struggling to take a breath. I had to remind myself to breathe.

Breathe.

Inhale, exhale.

Inhale, exhale.

Just breathe.

Mom rushed to the door, and I nearly tripped as I ran to catch up. She left the door agape, and I stopped as I reached the porch. I hesitated, my instincts screaming at me not to go in. I dreaded to think of whatever terrible fate awaited me. One more deep breath. I forced myself through the door and into the house.

I stifled a gasp as I saw my father sitting in his favorite chair, head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. I had to admit, however, I felt a strong sense of relief as I saw him there; that ensured nothing bad had happened to him. Mom went up to him, patted him on the back, and whispered something into his ear. His head immediately shot up to look at me, his gaze trapping me in place. I remained frozen as he quickly wiped his face, then turned and mumbled something to mom that I was probably not supposed to hear, but I strained my ears and caught the words, “Jenny will be here soon.”

Jenny?

What was wrong with Jenny?

“How about you go upstairs and play, darling?” Mother asked in a quiet tone, like she thought walls had ears and hoped they wouldn’t hear, “Your sister Jenny will be here soon. Go on now, go play.” “Play?” I nearly screamed, “How could I play at a time like this? What happened to Jenny? Why is she coming here? What is happening?” For a moment, there was nothing to hear but the sound of silence. Maybe they’re just not ready to tell me, I thought, although it gave me anxiety to wonder what it was. With another deep breath, I turned on my heels and walked up the stairs. I could hear mom and dad speaking downstairs, their voices growing ever quieter as I got higher and farther away.

I arrived in my room at last, changing out of my school uniform and getting into some comfortable pajamas, although it was hard to think of anything comfortable at a time like this. It felt like an eternity as I sat on my bed, fearing the worst, gripping my duvet with such a hard grasp I would be surprised if there weren’t any rips when I removed my hands. But eternities have to end at some point, don’t they?

Suddenly, I heard a car drive up to the driveway at the front of our home. I flinched as a car door slammed, and a moment later, heard the front door open with a loud creaking sound. I froze as my name was called.

“Jessica! Time to come down, sweetheart!”

My nerves were shot, but I tried to steel them so I could steadily walk down the stairs, doing my best not to let my growing fear show. My eyes searched for Jenny first, and thankfully, I saw her sitting on the couch, her hair frizzy as ever, her clothes as mismatched as always. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as I saw her. My dad was still in his chair, and mom was seated next to Jenny on the couch. I saw she had changed into her white dress with pink and blue floral designs chasing each other across the fabric. She gestured for me to come forward, so I quickly sat on the nearest chair across from my father, with my mother and sister to my left. The news was coming, I could feel it, but that knowledge only made me feel worse.

“Children, your father and I have something very important to tell you,” said my mother, her voice soft. I wanted to scream at her, “what is it?” but I didn’t want to make things worse than I knew they already were. So I sat and listened as my mother continued. “This news will change all our lives forever. It will take a few weeks to verify and claim, but it’s pretty much done. I’ll let your dad tell you the rest.”

The tension in the room grew with the gap in the conversation as dad contemplated how to relay the message. “You know my ritual of going to the convenience store every day before work? Well… it finally happened.”

Now this face, I’d never seen before. “We won…the big one. Fifty-two million!”

Like I said, my life would never be the same again.