To Tell Or Not To Tell - 2

Paul and Julie met in college at a party and fell in love almost right away. He was a software engineering senior, and she was a second-year accounting student. After he graduated, Paul enrolled himself into a two-year MBA program at the same college so that Julie could catch up with him. They got married right after they both graduated. They did not want to have kids right away, being young professionals and enjoying life together. They traveled a lot, both at home and internationally, mostly for his work as an up-and-coming international IT consultant. They attended a lot of parties and concerts, and generally led what some would call a bohemian urban life.

When Julie was about 28 and Paul – 31, he suggested they should buy their first house in a suburb. “Does that mean we want to settle, start a family, and have kids?” Julie asked him. “Yes, otherwise you’ll get too old and never forgive me for that,” Paul joked.

They tried for five years and couldn’t conceive. They tried everything, including invitro, which Julie’s body consistently rejected. The doctors could not figure out why it was happening, as they both were perfectly healthy. They just couldn’t get pregnant no matter how hard they tried. When the third invitro attempt failed, mentally and physically exhausted Julie suggested they should try an adoption. Not only Paul did not have to be convinced, he was surprisingly enthusiastic about it. “There are so many abandoned babies in this world who need to be loved, I’m so happy you thought of that!” the way Paul said it suggested he’d been thinking about it for a long time.

So they went to an adoption agency. They were ready for either international or domestic adoption, and they passed all sorts of background and living standards checks with flying colors. About a month later their adoption agent called them and said there was a potential option for them but it was urgent and they needed to be in the office right away.

When Julie and Paul got to the agency, they were introduced to a young heavily pregnant woman named Lucy. She was sitting in the room they were led to, waiting for them, and her puffy face and red eyes indicated she’d been crying. She told them her story: she was young and stupid for getting involved with someone as young and stupid as she was. They went to the same high school. When she got pregnant, his wealthy parents accused her of seducing their “good boy” and said they wanted nothing to do with her. Lucy’s mother, a devout Christian, said every life was sacred and promised help Lucy to raise the baby. And then she suddenly died of a heart attack, about three weeks ago, and Lucy was kicked out of the apartment her mother was renting. Lucy never knew her father and her mother had no known relatives.

At 17 and 8.5-months pregnant, Lucy found herself on the street and desperate. She reconnected with her boyfriend and while he didn’t mind hanging out together, smuggling food for her from his home, getting high and drinking, he couldn’t provide for Lucy or bring her to his parents’ house because they’d simply kick him out of the house too. Lucy’s best friend's mother took pity on her and put her up temporarily. She also got her information about this adoption agency and that’s how she ended up there.

Julie could see Lucy was torn and tormented. Her laments went from “I should have aborted it,” to “My mom would be so upset that I’m here,” to “I’m too young to be a mother!” It was not clear to Julie if Lucy really wanted to give up her baby for adoption, so she first decided to try and establish a connection with her. “What do you want for yourself, in your life?” she asked Lucy. It turned out that Lucy really liked kids and dreamed of becoming an elementary school teacher. “But I have to go to college for that, and how will I do that now? I can’t even finish high school!” she sobbed, pointing at her belly. The adoption agent gently suggested that giving up the baby could set Lucy back on track to finish high school and start college, which Lucy nodded to. “What’s the baby’s gender, if you know it?” Julie asked. “The doctors said it’s a boy,” Lucy smiled, rubbing her big belly. Julie’s heart skipped a beat; she always wanted a boy as their first child, followed by a girl and then another boy. A dream family. As the eldest of five siblings, Julie always longed for an older brother.

The adoption agent was trying to be reassuring and firm with Lucy, telling her that Julie and Paul would be great parents and could give her baby the life any child would be lucky to have. Lucy smiled and nodded understandingly, she seemed to have liked the couple. It felt like they were starting to establish good rapport. And then Paul nearly ruined everything by asking, “You’ve said your boyfriend drinks and gets high. How long?” “What do you mean?” Lucy asked, startled. “When did he start drinking and getting high?” Paul repeated, with more authority in his voice. “I don’t know, maybe since he was like 15… that’s how long I’ve known him and he's always been drinking and smoking, but not too much, he has very strict parents…” “Did you drink and smoke with him?” “Sometimes…” Lucy said quietly, dropping her head. “Did you do it while pregnant?” Paul continued to pressure. “Paul!” Julie whispered and tugged his sleeve, trying to stop the interrogation. “What?!” Paul turned to Julie, “We need to know all of this, do you want to deal with a baby who was drunk-conceived or affected by drugs and alcohol in the womb?” Lucy was sitting there, watching them silently, pale with fear. “Did you drink or smoke while pregnant?” Paul asked again. At that moment, the adoption agent interfered and said that they’d get Lucy’s pregnancy medical history and place her into a women’s shelter for the time being.

At home, Paul and Julie had a very difficult conversation about whether they’d still want to adopt the child if the mother was a “junkie,” as Paul continued to refer to Lucy. “He can have all sorts of defects, or worst yet – some mental disability that we won’t be able to detect until he goes to school or something!” Paul was throwing worst-case scenarios Julie was unable to retort.

***

“Did someone order Italian?” Julie’s memories were interrupted by a familiar cheerful voice.

“Mark!” Paul and Alice exclaimed and stood up at the same time.

“Mark? But how…” Julie started, dashing with Alice to take the delivery bags from him.

“That was fast, not even 10 minutes!” Alice said, impressed.

“I was doordashing in the area and saw your order. I hope you guys won’t mind me joining you. I’m starving!” Mark said, taking his jacket off.

“Of course not,” Julie said stopping half-way to the kitchen. Alice already set her bags on the kitchen table and came back.

“I had a gut feeling about this and placed a big order,” Alice said, “There should be enough food for everyone.”

“Good girl,” Paul said proudly, patting Alice on the back.

As they started to move to the dining room, Mark looked around and noticed the open “23 and Me” box on the coffee table.

“Oh, I see you've already opened it! Have you guys done your samples?”

Everyone followed Mark’s gaze. Julie’s knees went weak again and she nearly dropped the bags on the floor.

“No, we… we were just reading the instructions,” Paul saved them both again. “It didn’t look that simple, we needed time.”

“And some wine, right?” Alice said, laughing, and explained to her older brother, “They were drinking white wine and eating cheese when I caught them…”

“When was that, exactly?” Mark interrupted.

“Well, about 15 minutes ago now.”

“Aww, too bad,” Mark said, disappointed. “It means you’ll have to wait…”

“I thought I heard your voice,” Nick nodded at Mark, emerging from upstairs, and added, “By the way, they never told us what they were celebrating on a weekday.”

“’Us?’ You already disappeared into your room when I asked what they were celebrating!” Alice said.

“Ne-ah, I suggested Italian, remember?” Nick said strolling down the stairs.

“Stop bickering, you two,” Mark said jokingly, and then looked at Julie and Paul. “You’ve read the instructions, how long before you can take a sample after you eat?”

“I believe 30 minutes,” Paul responded. “But I’d wait more, to be sure.”

“Aww, too bad. We could have taken the samples all together, at the same time. Like family game night,” Mark said excitedly. “But I can’t stay too long, need to go back to doordashing.”

“Too bad indeed,” Paul mumbled. “Let’s go have dinner then.”

“A sample of what?” Nick asked, trying to catch up with the conversation.

“Your spit, for a DNA test,” Alice responded.

“Why?”

“There’s a murder, police are collecting everyone’s DNA samples in the neighborhood,” Alice said.

“Really?” Nick asked, almost excited.

“Of course not, you dummy,” Alice laughed. “Mark got us all a family DNA testing kit!”

“Oh wow!” Nick whistled, impressed. “Cool, bro, we’ll finally know where we came from!”

“Yeah, finally,” Paul sighed and looked at Julie, who was still standing with the delivery bags in the hallway, silently watching them all. “I thought you guys were starving, let’s go eat!”

“Wait! Have you guys eaten anything?” Mark asked his siblings.

“Not since 2 pm, I’m so hungry!” Nick answered, rubbing his belly.

“Me neither, and so hungry!” Alice echoed.

“Mom, dad, would you mind setting up the table while we figure this out and do our samples?” Mark suggested.

“That’s a great idea,” Julie said and headed to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Paul whispered when he caught up with her, “Great idea??”

“Well, are you going to tell him now?” Julie asked.

“Of course not! I’d rather NOT tell him at all, you know that!”

“Then we need to play along and pretend to be excited so that he doesn’t suspect anything,” Julie said.

While the kids were reading the instructions in the living room, goofing off as they always do when they are together, Paul and Julie silently took the food out of the bags and set the dinner table. As they were finishing, the kids entered the dining room, and Mark said, “It’s actually very simple, dad, you just unseal the tube, spit into it through the funnel, remove the funnel, screw the top tight, shake the tube and label it.”

“Don’t worry, dad, we’ll help you out when you are ready to do yours,” Nick said as they were all sitting down at the table, “It’s actually fun!”

“I’m sure it is,” Paul said cheerfully as they started to eat, “So, tell us about your news.”

While they were eating and exchanging the news of school and work, Julie couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d have to do. At this point, she was sure they’d have to tell Mark the truth, they just needed to decide when and think through the consequences. Memories flooded her mind again…

Continue to Part 3 below: