The Power of Friendships

Friendships can occupy a unique and special place in our life stories. What sets these connections apart? Before we explore the scientific aspects, let's first witness a friendship in action. If I could somehow create an ideal best friend, someone embodying all the perfect qualities of my ideal match, that individual would still not measure up to Priya. She has an uncanny ability to turn any situation into a delightful experience, whether it's a chemistry lab or band practice. What I'm trying to convey is that I never experience more intense laughter than when I'm in Priya's company. She's consistently there for me, as demonstrated last year after I endured a painful breakup with Te— you know what? I'd rather not utter their name. At that moment, it felt like my whole world was crumbling, but the moment I confided in Priya, she was right at my doorstep. Despite my emotional turmoil, she sat by my side, providing a listening ear. We're always on the same wavelength; it's as though we can intuit each other's thoughts! Our conversations can extend for hours, delving into any topic imaginable. My mom would undoubtedly point out that she has the phone bills to substantiate it. If it appears that friendships formed during adolescence hold a unique significance, it's because they indeed do. Early childhood, teenage, and adult friendships all exhibit distinct characteristics, primarily because the brain operates differently during these life stages. Adolescence stands out as a time when peer relationships take precedence, and thanks to the developing brain, there are shifts in how you assess, comprehend, and connect with friends. Teenage friendships can sometimes appear inseparable. Scientists describe adolescence as a period of social reorientation, with teenagers beginning to spend as much or even more time with friends compared to their parents. This inclination to spend time with pals may result from changes in the brain's reward center, known as the ventral striatum. Activation of this region makes socializing enjoyable and motivates individuals to spend more time with their friends. Neuroimaging studies reveal that this region is remarkably responsive during the teenage years, which may explain why adolescents tend to place a higher value on social interactions compared to children or adults. Teenage friendships can also feel more profound than the friendships of childhood. This heightened connection is made possible by advances in Theory of Mind, a term used by scientists to describe the ability to understand others' emotions, thoughts, motivations, and perspectives, recognizing that these may differ from one's own. While it may seem intuitive, this ability hinges on the coordinated functioning of various brain regions, collectively referred to as the social brain. Infants begin to develop Theory of Mind at around 18 months or so. Prior to this, it is believed that they assume everyone perceives and knows precisely what they know. Although Theory of Mind was once thought to be fully developed by the age of five, scientists now understand that it continues to enhance and mature well into the teenage years and beyond. Similarly, regions within the social brain exhibit increased connectivity during adolescence compared to childhood. As a result, teenagers can gain a better understanding of their friends' perspectives, allowing for deeper connections to blossom. In the closest friendships, it can almost feel as if you share a metaphysical connection—two bodies and minds harmoniously in sync. There is even science supporting this notion! Your ability to connect with others is somewhat reliant on the coordination of actions, emotions, physiology, and thoughts, a concept psychologists refer to as interpersonal synchrony. Infants initially exhibit signs of this ability by synchronizing movements and babbling with their parents. As you grow older and spend more time outside the home, you increasingly display this synchrony with your peers. For instance, picture walking down the street with a friend. Often without conscious thought, you walk at the same pace and follow the same path. You and your best friend may not only be on the same page, but also, scientifically speaking, in perfect harmony.