Look… A Penguin-Pelican!

Feeling Good – Michael Buble

Can’t Get Enough of You Baby – Smash Mouth

I Want Your Love! – Transvision Vamp

C’mon Now – John Butler Trio

Chapter 9

My first morning in my new home greeted me with its new sounds. Cicadas happily clicked slowly away, warming up their back legs in preparation for the hot summer’s day.

In the gum tree behind my room, a kookaburra called out with a ripper kaa kaa kaa laugh. The iconic bird competed with petulant and squawking little grey bin diving seagulls, who in the distance busily bellowed, “Grubs up!”

Relaxation swept over me with every caress from the early morning breeze that carried the scent of saltwater and its ever-present companion seaweed. If I listened hard enough, every now and again, the distant echoes of crashing waves entered my room. Voices resonated around the general area. …Adults and children, calling out to each other, some with a frustrated “Hurry up!” …or a pleading “Wait!” in response.

The methodical rhythm of slow chugging tractor engines rang out into the sleepy distance as they fulfilled their purpose of towing fishing boats down to the beach.

Millions of leaves from the grand old Peppy trees competed with every sound of human occupation. Contentedly rustling their long green fingers as they swished and shook off the night into the early morning zephyr. Standing forever like silent sentinels, patiently guarding my hut with unwavering attention.

Listening to my new life whilst wrapped up in bedding, eyes shut tight, contentedly ensconced in my soft, comfortable bed, healing sunlight peeping through thin lace curtains made me smile. How lucky can one poetic person be?

This was an amazing, …AMAZING place!

With old sadness left far behind, I could feel the promise of new adventures, happiness and fulfilment waiting to burst through the front door.

FREEDOM!

Nothing was going to disturb me …or make me move from my astonishingly comfortable bed.

Nothing!

… Except my bladder!

I’d slept in until 9:00 am. Wasn’t used to doing that. Obviously, the ol’ body needed it, but now… the ol’ bladder was bursting.

Sproink, doink, the bed protested noisily at my rapid ejection.

Standing in front of a glass-slatted window, with the sun pouring onto my body, salt air wrapped its tendrils around my lungs. My neighbouring kookaburra laughed, mimicking my happiness.

“What a beautiful blue sky. It’s so…”

‘Blue?’ Sarcasm rolled her eyes and blithely ‘snuggled’ herself down under the covers, all whilst flipping me the bird.

Such a pleasant personality trait…

The hunt for a matching pair of slippers quickly became pointless as my bulging bladder took precedence over presentation, and anyway, I could only find one! Not that it mattered; I was just content to bare-foot slump my way to the loo.

A good hard tug was employed to move the ol’ monolith plank front door. The sound of it rubbing along the lino-covered veranda boards simply made me smile. My new home’s character was beginning to show itself, and in doing so giving depth and personality to every space.

Down on the front, worn wooden step, then to the cold grey cement pavers below. All enjoyable done, when doused in warm sunlight and fresh salty air.

A stretch and yawn were inevitable.

Directing my face towards the rising sun…

…Okay! Mid-morning sun, a salutation was performed.

Bend over, touching my toes.

Stretch the legs.

Reach up high.

Stretch the back.

Crunch, click and crack, one chiropractor appointment avoided.

Behind me, a throat cleared itself loudly.

Oh.

My.

Dear.

Lord!

The burn from a blush ignited instantaneously, along with a 10-digit toe crunch. Dread replaced relaxation. Looking with wide eyes over my shoulder, little sparkles glimmered in my vision as my blood pressure dropped.

It became apparent, all too quickly, that the neighbouring blue and grey mini orb house was no longer empty. Thank goodness I hadn’t scratched my butt!

A single resident sat on the front veranda, paused in the now-forgotten act of eating toast whilst awaiting his amused smile to evaporate.

To the very depths of my humanity, regret for not putting a dressing gown on burned a new searing memory into my mind. Starting from my toes and working its way up, the uncontrollable storm of raging embarrassment engulfed me in a burning fire.

The dark blond, curly-haired man kept staring at me with his cheeky ‘You’ve been caught out’ grin, growing larger with every second.

But both our reactions were outdone by his younger, ruffle-haired brother.

The lanky teenager walked innocently out the back door in a t-shirt and long blue pinstriped flannelette pants, ready to sit next to the other occupant on the old grey outdoors lounge. A bowl clutched in one hand whilst the other busily poked a cereal-laded spoon into his hungry mouth. In one smooth movement, the teenager saw me in all my morning glory, snorted up, then spat and choked on a mouth full of milk and cornflakes. Spraying it during his spasms all over the wooden veranda, his older brother, the lounge and the lawn!

“Morning!” was all I could think of to say before bolting.

About halfway to the bathroom shed, Anxiety, dressed in sensible grey shoes, pj’s and a ‘hang in the pussy cat’ t-shirt, pelted past me in a combo Irish dance Olympic power walk, wailing, ‘Oh. My. Good. God. No, no, no ,no, no, no, no.’

If only my levels of embarrassment had been lowered after my ritual ablutions. But no, that’s not how my life rolls! After washing my hands in the cast iron bathroom sink, regret at the haste of my bedroom departure dived to such a new depth I had to grab the enamelled edges of the sink to steady myself. A glimpse of myself in the big ol’ bathroom mirror had been caught.

Anxiety stood behind me, looking at my curved spine of shame. Clasping her fingers tightly to her nervous chest, she uttered. ‘I think I'm about to throw up!’

Almost placing my head in the sink of shame, I whined, “Oh, sweet Mother Magee! …No, no, no, no, no!”.

Anxiety shrivelled down onto the well-loved yellow wooden chair in the corner and started to breathe deeply, trying to calm herself. Apparently, the trauma was too much for her to handle.

Through my old t-shirt, I had just flashed my boobs to my neighbours.

One of which I would probably be teaching.

“Oh, shame... Cassie, you idiot!”

And the other brother.

Well, he would be my neighbour for the foreseeable future. And every time we saw each other, he would know, and I would know, that he knew, that I knew what he had seen.

“Just great. What a great way to start off.”

Why can’t you rewind time when you really need to? I’m not talking about a willy-nilly rewind here and there, a type of event. Just when you really, really need to. Like now, for instance! When I just wanted to die!

For those who don’t get it, Teachers must be very careful in small communities. You’re already judged for the way you educate and discipline your neighbour's dear and delightful little darlings. If you end up being the talk of the town for other reasons… It becomes really hard to have parent-teacher meetings and be taken seriously by your students. And when the latter happens… you might as well leave town.

What made matters worse, there was nothing I could do about having to walk right back past them again! The hut’s back windows were too high – trust me, I looked. I didn’t have anything out here to put on. I know because I even evaluated the shower curtain!

Lust poked her head out of the shower recess, shrugging her dismissive shoulders. ‘What ev’s, I’ve seen worse on the beach! Chillax!’

Sarcasm didn’t even have to say anything; she just stood behind me, smiling like a Cheshire cat in her black gothic neck-to-knee nightgown, including the frilly bonnet.

Still perched on the yellow chair, Anxiety put her face into cupped hands and talked about the shame, questioning how she would live with it. The woeful mantra of, ‘It’s not too late to go home. It’s not too late to go home,’ echoed quietly out from her cupped and hidden face.

I have learnt that when faced with a horrendous future, take a deep breath and get it over and done as quickly as possible! If I can equate it to the band-aid removal method. I’m the ‘do-it-in-one-rip’ kinda girl!

To my reflection in the old round mirror, I clearly stated in an authoritative tone. “Right... do it fast! It’ll increase the wobble, but they’ll have less time to see. Cross your arms as if you’re a bit cold; that’ll help with the view and lessen the jiggle!”

‘It’s not cold!’ added Sarcasm.

‘Shut up!’ wailed Anxiety as she rocked backwards and forwards.

An Olympic power walk took me around the corner of my hut and to the front step, all in three paces.

The teenager managed not to choke but froze with a spoon hovering towards his mouth. His older brother, who had been talking to him, quickly spun his face in my direction, not wanting to miss the show. He probably copped a quick look, but nothing like his prepared teenage brother.

In my room, I slammed on a bra, hoodie and trackpants, then glimpsed in the mirror my burning red cheeks. Anxiety was still audibly wailing out our shame in the shed.

Clinging to my clothes like precious gold, a deep breath was taken before my belongings, and I once again stepped out to face come what may. I hoped the ‘neighbours’ had gone inside so I could make my escape... unfortunately, I was bitterly disappointed.

From his recumbent position on the lounge, the older brother called out, “Hi!”

in a welcoming and friendly manner. “You’re the new Teacher, …right!”

Poop! I had to stop. But at least I was covered up and respectable.

“Hi! Yes. I’m Cassandra… or it's just Cassie, really.”

His friendly smile made his crystal sea green eyes twinkle out from under his messy dark blond hair. His face, framed with a smooth square jaw, exuded friendly openness. I liked him immediately – he was obviously not a game player.

“Hi. I’m Jase. Hang on a sec.” He called out to his younger brother, who had gone back into the hut. “Marcus. …Marcus, come out and say hi to your new Teacher.”

Jase turned and smiled. He would have been around my age, maybe a bit younger. 21, 22 but no older.

The young teenager came out with a fresh bowl in hand, spoon in his mouth and then choked on his cereal again. Then, when sufficiently recovered, blushed and stumbled out, “Hi, Miss.”

I nodded with a wry smile, “Hi.”

Marcus was lanky and lean, as if his body was using all its resources to grow as tall and fast as possible. His eyes, messy hair and smile were his brothers. I noticed dark circles under his eyes as if the colour had been drained somehow from his skin. Apart from that, it was apparent he was a junior copy of Jase; with proper feeding and time, Marcus would turn out to be just as attractive.

“Hang on!” Jase leaned so he could look through the fly-wired back door and into the kitchen of his hut. “Taj. Taj… come out! The new teachers here.”

He turned back to face me, relaxed and smiling. “My …older brother just got back yesterday. Broke down at Nan’s in Northcliffe. We were out last night having tea with her and picking him up. Otherwise, we would have been here to help you unpack.”

With a nonchalant hand, I waved away his concern. “Oh, thanks, but I don’t have much, so it didn’t take me very long.”

Marcus was standing with his spoon in his bowl, smiling all goofy at me.

Oh, my goodness! Never leave this house again without a bra on.

Can you hear it?

Life is starting to play a crescendo on an electric guitar!

If I’d been paying attention, I would have heard it and been able to brace myself.

Lust heard it.

Behind me, she swung her way out of my hut’s old door frame, dressed like an 80s-bleached blond punk pop star and stood beside me with the biggest leering grin possible, focusing on the doorway of next door’s hut like a bloodhound on the scent.

Bare feet walked out the door and onto the warn grey wooden planks.

Attached to smooth, strong legs and thighs.

‘Oh….’

Dark blue footy shorts…

‘Shhhhh’

Warm brown skin slightly shining in the morning sun.

Breathe –

‘iiiiiiiiii’

He moved like an invitation.

‘tttttttt’

The face of a god smiled at me, crinkling warm blue/green eyes.

‘!!!!!!!!!!’

Just great! I would have to live next door to a living, breathing TEN.

Some people might have enjoyed this. But to me, it held up a reflection of every one of my multiple gigantic flaws, which then all held up massive signs saying ‘He’s way… WAY outta your league cause you’re nothing but a ‘Silly arm flapping Pelican-Penguin waddling girl.’

Trying to keep my mouth shut was difficult ‘cos it was trying to drop to the floor; instead, I swallowed awkwardly and grinned like a twit.

Lust wouldn’t stop smiling… well it was more an 80’s Punk leer of appreciation.

Now, because life’s a psychopath’s sense of humour! Mr 10 didn’t remain at a distance. No. He kept walking straight at me so my imperfections could bask in his glowing symmetry. And whilst he did so, his eyes fell to my bundle of clothing.

I looked down as Anxiety screamed from the bathroom, ‘Oh Good LORD! Nooo!’

Horror gripped my heart as I saw my pink glow-in-the-dark knickers at the top of my chest-high bundle. Without thought, they were automatically shoved further down into the pile. Then, because I’m a sucker for punishment, I looked back at Taj, or as us Pelican-Penguin people refer to him, ‘Sir Delusion’.

SHAME… He had seen what I had done, and so had Marcus, who swallowed so hard it was audible!

Taj presented me with an eye twinkling, half the mouth raised, smirky smile.

Amused.

Oh, great!

Just great!

Unlike his brothers, Mr 10 didn’t stay put at a respectful distance. Nooooo! Sir Delusion decided to come up so close he could shake my hand. …Bastard!

“Hi, I’m Taj.”

His hand was soft and warm, matching his now full-mouth smile. Deep, ocean blue/green eyes almost melted me on the spot.

Lust, who stood right by his side, was sniffing him, which was really off-putting.

Because I’m a ‘LADY’, I shook his hand gently, then released it.

“We’ve seen him before… Can’t think where, but… I’m sure we’ve seen him somewhere.” Realisation stood in the hut’s veranda doorway, tapping at her chin.

And just to top it off, another headache was building right behind my frontal lobe.

“Have we met before?”

It was a dumb question because I really would have remembered, but still, there was something about him that seemed so familiar. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

“No.” was his only reply. It is a conversation-stopper if I’ve ever heard one… and I have on multiple occasions.

“Oh, okay. You just look a little bit… I don’t know; I just think we may have met somewhere.”

“I doubt you move in the same circles as I do.” A smile grew across his handsome features. Whilst my body went into a panic response.

Anxiety was now right next to me, whispering harshly into my ear: ‘Of course, we wouldn’t move in the same circles; he probably hangs out with models and… and cool people.’

Taj had not turned his head but kept staring at me. With his back to his brothers, he stood almost too close, making sure I had a front-and-centre view of his amused smile being cultivated at my expense! It grew in the light of recognition of my discomfort. It flourished in acknowledgement of my unease. Maybe, given time, he might even laugh at me. I could see it in his eyes; he was thinking, ‘Ah, look… it's a ‘Pelican-Penguin Girl! Look at her blush and squirm and quake in my presence.’

His brother Jase broke the spell. “Cassie, if you need a hand with anything, just let us know. We used to help Nanna out all the time! Especially chopping wood.”

Thank goodness the headache evaporated. “Oh! Okay! I mean… That would be nice. No, I mean, I’m fine. Well, at the moment, anyway.” The blush was speeding up again.

Taj nodded in recognition of my addled, flapping; his smile grew as he spoke. “Any time you need a hand, let me know!”

Realisation probed, ‘What does he mean, Nana? Are these three related?’

And before I could stop the thought, it erupted out of my beak. “Nanna?”

“Mrs Hope is our Nan,” Taj spoke in a low casual tone. His forest-green, ocean-blue eyes twinkled.

Lust, Libido and Hormones all stoop by observing like a bunch of high school mean girls, giggling at my embarrassment. “Thanks, we’ll …I mean, yep, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Well, when you’re ready, we can take you over to the school.” Jase stood on the veranda, smiling at me.

As I looked at both men, the obvious physical differences struck me, so I stopped my backward peddling and grew a backbone.

“Did you say you were brothers?”

Taj’s veneer of cool slipped a little. With a raised left eyebrow, he smiled formally.

“Yes, we are. I’m adopted!”

I nodded as Taj’s smile changed to a new one, like there was an in-joke that I didn’t know about. It totally and utterly pissed me off.

Revenge called out from inside, “He’s lying straight to your face, must think you’re a simpleton.”

“Right.” My eyes narrowed in recognition of his behaviour. “I’ll just have a shower and some breakfast. Then, Jase, if you don’t mind, I’ll knock on your door, and you can show me the school.”

“Not a prob!” Jase lent on the verandas post. “Any time you need help, Cassie, feel free to ask. Like Taj says, it’s not a problem.”

“We’d better let you have a shower. I’m sure your trip made you all hot and sticky!”

The trio of mean girls all gasped and squealed at Taj’s comment.

Realisation pushed them out of the way. ‘He saw you in the car park. He saw you drop your icy-pole down your boobs!’

“The car park!” Was whispered.

Taj’s smile grew exponentially, “What do you mean, car park? You can park behind your shed; didn’t anyone tell you?”

Taj nodded his partings to me and said with a smile I had not yet seen up until that point. “Teacher!” Then turned and walked back into his hut.

Little Pelican-Penguin me froze mid-flap. Libido and Hormones were back as Lust whispered, ‘Oh my good goddess! I just caught fire.’

It simply wasn’t the… ‘You amuse me sticky, silly clumsy, ‘Pelican-Penguin Girl’ smile.’

NO!...

Noooooooooo!

It was more of a… ‘Silly clumsy, ‘Pelican-Penguin Girl’… I’d like to make you all hot and sticky!’ smile.

My swallow matched Marcus’s on the audible range. And like a Pelican-Penguin on fire, I quickly turned and bolted for the bathroom.

Wow, that man knew how to smile!