Chapter 2: Aegenwulf

Chapter 1: "The Whole: of the hole" may be found here: https://vocal.media/chapters/the-whole-wd4os0t5y

My gloved finger hangs in the air right above the light switch. Something is off, like déjà vu only emptier. Haven’t I done this already?

My stomach is unsettled. I try to remember through this momentary aphasia. Ice fishing…, braving the elements alone for the night, a kind of sedentary walkabout…, like a sweat lodge without the sweating (the temperature is twelve below zero & dropping, after all)…, seeking a vision of sorts, hoping to find myself…, to find a way forward.

I didn’t go, of course. I mean, I’m standing here. My gear is still setting next to the door. And yet….

A fresh hole in the ice…, no one around…, tackle slipping…, gear…,

…& then nothing.

Shake my head. Snap out of it! You didn’t go! You’re just a fool who’s forgotten how to turn off a light switch!

And yet, this stomach…, leaden, as though someone just walked over my grave.

Tavern! Friends are waiting! You’ve donned your parka & pocketed the scrip you’ll need. You’re all ready to go!

I check my pocket just to make sure.

Idiot! Doesn’t do much good with your glove on now, does it? Unsheathing my hand, I try again. Yep. It’s there. Restoring my defenses against the cold, I slap the switch & head into the night.

The guys are gonna enjoy this, I grin to myself.

Are you outta your mind?!!! They’ll accuse ya of cabin fever, isolation’s made ya stir crazy! Doc gets called & you’re on the first sled outta here. No. Nothin’ to tell. Just heading out for a couple a’ drinks & a little nosh. Nothin’ more….

I’m just a few steps up the trail when I stop, cock my head, more feeling for than listening. An impression, like a memory swimming around, inside my hood so close yet still out of reach, making me woozy. The wind is howling just as it always does, but I sense a stillness…, trees standing straight & tall…, stars unobscured by cabins or forest though I see them all around me.

A pair of yellow eyes stare at me intently from just inside the tree line.

“Aegenwulf!” I cry, shaking my head clear. “Come here, boy.”

He hesitates, one paw tentatively reaching out, then nervously drawing back, turning as though prepared to run.

I lean forward, patting my knees. “What’s the matter, boy? Come here.” I coax, reaching out my right hand. He stands there perfectly still, ready to bolt.

I kneel in the snow, making myself as small as possible, beckoning to him, “What’s wrong, don’t you recognize me? It’s your ole pal Evans.” I hear a low rumble rising from deep inside him as he begins to growl, then howl at me, bouncing back & forth among the trees as though debating between fight or flight.

I lower my arm & turn my head to the left, exposing my neck to him. I have no idea what’s going on but it seems this is no time to be direct. Make it clear I pose no threat & give him time.

After a minute or so, he takes a step, barks toward my right, more to the wind than anything else, one eye trained on me checking for a reaction. I don’t move.

When he quiets & begins shuffling around, still a good ten yards away, I speak in the most calming voice I can manage, “It’s okay, Aegen. It’s just me. I won’t hurtchya. I just wanted to say ‘Hi’ is all.” I keep my eyes averted.

He takes a few steps closer, rethinks it, howls some more, but with fits & starts eventually makes his way close enough to sniff my gloved hand. He lets me scratch him behind the neck before finally nuzzling my near frozen cheek.

I stroke his thick coat firmly with both arms around him, giving him a good hug as he begins to wriggle with recognition. “That’s a good boy, Wulfy. I told you it was okay.” He begins licking my face as I slobber back, “That’s a good boy! Yes, who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy, aren’tchya? Yes, you are!”

I stand up & he starts prancing all around, ready to play. Pointing up the trail I tell him, “I was just headin’ to the tavern. Wanna tag along?”

He barks with excitement, turns up the hill & leads the way.

Strange, I think to myself. In the five years since we found him, he’s never acted this way. I wonder if anyone else has noticed anything.

Ah, the questions can wait. First, a couple of pints & a healthy bowl of gruel.

****

Aegenwulf means "the wolf of the chief sea".