Addiction

Note: I felt compelled to start something after a long day of teaching last week... I am not sure, but this feels like the beginning of something much longer. I need your input.

-K.D.

*

I am not a drug addict. I am a drug enthusiast. I have to keep repeating this to people who wonder why I continue to enjoy certain pills, powders, potions, mixtures, syrups and the occasional injection. “Why do you do this to yourself,” they say. “Why don’t you try and stop using…,“ I hear from people meaning well and understanding very little. “I have a sister who…” “I have a brother who…” And on and on it goes… They all know someone who could not control themselves and had to fall down so low that the only way to go was back up (sounds like Oscar Wilde there, or is that William Blake?)

I truly feel sorry for them. All they could do was let a drug control their lives instead of using it as a tool that could provide them some insight into how to live their lives. Just pathetic… And when they tell me which particular drugs that they got addicted to, I cannot prevent myself from suppressing my laughter. Not many invites after that happens, but who cares. I really don’t need the hassle.

Yes, I am rich. I ended up here because of my wealth. All these years of amassing wealth from just the will to be successful and I am now…

But I am getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?

Money has provided me with a very comfortable life. With the security of that in my life, I have developed charities that have provided assistance to the truly desperate and down-at-heel. I have properties now used for orphanages, research facilities, and preserves for various endangered animals. All legal and helpful, despite the arguments made about the tax bills I receive that keep me from giving too much to the government. That is their law. All I do is know how to play the game.

So, why did I start this by talking about drugs?

It was at a recent event where things came out into the light and many questions began to be thrown around about all of my hard work. “Should a man who is such an enthusiastic user of drugs be considered such a role model to our youth?” Typical politician… At least he got the idea of me being an enthusiast right. When you have so many politicians in your pockets, one or two tend to fall out and begin to think that they are allowed to be their own boss. At least he was not on what many of you might know as a “hot mike” (or “hot mic”; could never remember the spelling). He was speaking to me and my staff just before we were presenting that stuffed waste of flesh an award for a lifetime of service to the environment and his constituents.

“Why does one thing hinge on the other?”

That was Laura, in my service for over twenty years and still sharper than ever. She made him stare off into space as if he had just been told he had been voted out of office.

“Do I even have to…? Why is this so hard?”

No one wanted to stop him as he continued to babble. I was even a little amused at his concern. But I wanted it to end…

“Laura…”

She was like my own right hand; my own thoughts seemed to move through her mind.

“Sir, a man’s private actions are his own actions. There are things about every single person in this room that we may not wish to know. Drugs could be one vice, as could alcohol, gambling, gluttony…or a lack of fidelity to one’s partner.”

I loved the way she said that. Lack of fidelity… The look on the man’s face – no name necessary – was one I had seen often in business deals and meetings with staff who thought that they had gained an upper hand: predictable, yes, but still one that I loved to see.

“I am… I spoke out of turn… Maybe I could…”

I barely heard him as he was ushered out of the room. He did have to give a speech introducing me at the event, so I thought that he would need a moment.

It was a beautiful night, and I should have cherished it. My best people were in the room, a politician had been put in his place, my supply was refurbished in the limousine, and I was still a respected member of the community.

It was not to last.

What would Blake or Wilde say in such a moment?

All such things are fleeting… All such joys are not meant to last…

There is so much more to this story that I need to share with you.

Please…

*

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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