If I Started A Book Club For Black Men

For the last three years, I’ve been in a book club orchestrated by my girlfriend. As the lone man in a book club with only Black women, it has been a powerful journey. Often I find myself just listening and absorbing all of the knowledge that surrounds me. It’s beautiful to be welcomed in a vulnerable space. Other times I’m looking around and asking myself, “WHERE ARE THE BLACK MEN?!” If I’m being honest, I feel more comfortable in a room full of women than with men (I’ll figure this out with my therapist in the future), but I do think some great positivity could come from a group full of Black men reading together. So, I took myself on a journey all alone, and put together a group of books I think would be great for my own book club.

First, I had to imagine I had friends. Then, I had to imagine what would be life-changing topics for specifically Black men to read about as a group. This left me with the following themes/genres:

• Humor (it’s important to laugh and share joy with each other)
• Parenting/Fatherhood (learning different ways to educate and love children is key)
• Death (this is a deep conversation that can lead to talks about legacy, living a healthy life, fear, and grief)
• Mental Health (a topic that can never be talked about enough, and a chance to check in with everyone about needing therapy or support elsewhere)
• Self-Love (knowing how to love ourselves is key to living a positive life)
• Feminism (too many men shy away from this topic and my book club would not)
• A Black Historical Text (we must know ourselves and where we come from to change the future)
• A Black Heroine (our heroes don’t always (or only) have to be men)

Second, I wanted to make sure each book was available for different reading types. So, I chose books that could be found physically and on Audible. I don’t always enjoy (or have time to) sit down and read, so this was a big decision.

Then, it was time to read one book per month! Below are my book selections, immediate reactions, and some honorable mentions. Official reading order still to be determined…

1. The Three Mothers: How The Mothers of Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and James Baldwin Shaped A Nation

Author: Anna Malaika Tubbs

Favorite Chapter: Losing Our Sons

Favorite Quote: "By presenting the stories of three women who would otherwise have been mostly forgotten and erased I am not only recognizing them but also recognizing those like them: other people who have been marginalized and other people who have been forgotten!”

How Long: 7 - 8hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for mothers of all ages, but includes a direct and indirect call to action for men. I was immediately impressed with the bravery and patience of someone trying to tackle the stories of these women, but even more impressed and proud after reading just how well written it is. I've learned about all of their sons and continue to study them, but to hear more about their backstory and their mothers was powerful. Especially as a Mama's Boy. The "Losing Our Sons" chapter almost made me cry in the airport, and the conclusion made me want to shake the world and scream "BLACK WOMEN DESERVE BETTER!" This is amazing work. These three men are highlighted as strong Black men, and it’s an opportunity to speak about them and the ones who raised them. As a group, it’s an opportunity to speak about our childhoods.

2. Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work

Author: Akilah S. Richards

Favorite Chapter: Being Willing to Be Called In, And Called Out, by Children

Favorite Quote: “You cannot be the best teacher or guide for that young learner if you are deciding for them instead of with them. You and I must see partnering with young people as personal leadership work, social justice work, not just educational activism. This is bigger than that.”

How Long: 6 - 7hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for people considering homeschooling for their children, and educators who are currently working in school districts or with children at all. I’ve taught within school systems and in homes, and they can be two completely different experiences for children. What I’ve felt for many years is, if we do not choose to grow continuously as teachers/guardians, we will just be in the way of the beautiful learning that can be happening for a child. This book captures that idea and more very well. As a group, it can lead to a discussion about what it means to be a Black father or educator in the world we live in today.

3. Parable of the Talents

Author: Octavia E. Butler

Favorite Chapter: Epilogue

Favorite Quote: “If you want a thing-truly want it, want it so badly that you need it as you need air to breathe, then unless you die, you will have it..."

How Long: 15 - 16hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for people who enjoy fiction, and have read Parable of the Sower! I would actually recommend reading that one first, so both the books might actually have to be in the book club. This book is very futuristic, very suspenseful, and very graphic. But, it is also filled with deep stories and twists that people who like sci-fi would enjoy. For a Black men’s book club this book can be broken down about leadership, love, survival, and more!

4. Supermarket

Author: Bobby Hall

Favorite Chapter: Checkmate

Favorite Quote: “Don’t you get it? Even if I told you how to do it, it wouldn’t register. I can only help you, show you the way. But YOU have to step through the door!”

How Long: 7 - 8hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for people who love Logic as an artist, writer, and person. He’s been speaking on mental health for a very long time now, and it’s all over this book. I was pretty addicted from the beginning. For people who don’t know him, you’d enjoy this if you like mind bending and psychological books that are a bit dark and really funny. This book could also be paired with his album Supermarket, and can add the power of music and Hip-Hop to the conversation.

5. The Body In Not An Apology: The Power Of Radical Self-Love

Author: Sonya Renee Taylor

Favorite Chapter: A New Way Ordered By Love

Favorite Quote: “To be fear-facing is to learn the distinction between fear and danger. It is to look directly at the source of the fear and assess if we are truly in peril or if we are simply afraid of the unknown…”

How Long: 5 - 6hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for everyone in the world that isn’t somehow closed off from the world and internet, but great for men. Sonya Renee Taylor does a great job of literally asking questions about how we feel about ourselves and the thoughts we have about others. I love when books can make me look in the mirror and be vulnerable. This one took me awhile to finish because I felt all the emotions I’ve had inside about my body, appearance, and often not feeling normal. For a group of Black men, I can see this bringing up conversations about romantic relationships, learning more about others, and societal demands that pressure us to feel and look strong at all times.

6. Such A Fun Age

Author: Kiley Reid

Favorite Chapter: Chapter 18

Favorite Quote: “If you’re happy and you know it? Then row row row your boat to the store…”

How Long: 12 - 13hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for adults that enjoy drama, humor, and want to hear about parenting with a different lens. Also, involves interracial relationships and power struggles. It’s cool to hear a nanny/babysitter story that’s original and different, and that’s this book. I believe that Black educators teaching children in homes can be extremely beneficial on multiple levels. Realistically, this book could be a big hit or a miss. Lots of gossip and not too deep. I think every book club should have a what is this moment. This book could be it…

7. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

Author: Eckhart Tolle

Favorite Chapter: Chapter Nine (Your Inner Purpose)

Favorite Quote: “You will enjoy any activity in which you are fully present, any activity that is not just a means to an end. It isn’t the action you perform that you really enjoy, but the deep sense of aliveness that flows into it. That aliveness is one with who you are.”

How Long: 9 - 10hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for people who are on a spiritual or learning journey in their life as an individual, parent, or partner in a relationship. Definitely learned some things about myself while reading. This is another book that can be tied with an album. Kendrick Lamar mentions therapy and Eckhart Tolle a lot in his Mr. Morale And The Big Steppers album.

8. Hood Feminism: Notes From The Women That A Movement Forgot

Author: Mikki Kendall

Favorite Chapter: How Write About Black Women

Favorite Quote: “This is a space where we must be able to have the hard conversations after conflict, because sometimes the political is personal. Being a good accomplice is where the real work is done. That means taking risks inherent in wielding privilege to defend communities with less of it, and it means being willing to not just pass the mic but sometimes get completely off the stage so someone else can get the attention they need to get their work done. We can’t afford to silo the work into what we think counts as a feminist issue and instead must understand that the issues a community faces can cover a wide range, and that being able to eat, see a doctor, work, and sleep in a place free from the dangers of environmental racism are important.”

How Long: 7 - 8hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for Black boys and men to educate more on the feminist movement, whether you already call yourself a feminist or not. Also, very important for white feminists who forget to support women who don’t look like them, but that’s a discussion for a different group…

9. Assata: An Autobiography

Author: Assata Shakur

Favorite Chapter: Chapter 9

Favorite Quote: “The schools we go to are reflections of the society that created them. Nobody is going to give you the education you need to overthrow them. Nobody is going to teach you your true history, teach you your true heroes, if they know that that knowledge will help set you free. Schools in amerika are interested in brainwashing people with amerikanism, giving them a little bit of education, and training them in skills needed to fill the positions the capitalist system requires. As long as we expect amerika’s schools to educate us, we will remain ignorant.”

How Long: 12 - 13hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book to learn more about institutional racism, the Black Panther Party, and to think deeply about what a revolution is and looks like for Black people in the United States. There’s so much in this book for Black men, and it’s being told from a Black woman’s perspective. Powerful book. There’s also really great poetry included…

10. Awakening The Buddha Within

Author: Lama Surya Das

Favorite Chapter: Seeing Things As They Are

Favorite Quote: “We’re all going to die one day. But who among us really believes it? It’s such an obvious fact; why do we pretend it’s never going to happen to us? Buddha called death and impermanence the most important teaching. He said, ‘Just as the elephant’s footprint is the biggest footprint on the jungle floor, death is the greatest teacher…”

How Long: 5 - 6hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for people who live life afraid of death, and on a very deep spiritual journey. I will admit that some of the things in this book I’ve heard before, but it’s often reassuring to have things said to you again. Even if it’s in a different way. Black men too often are surrounded by lots of loss, and this can be a moment to bring those emotions out safely.

11. The 1619 Project

Author: Nikole Hannah-Jones

Favorite Chapter: Inheritance

Favorite Quote: “Inequality lives, in part, because Americans of every generation have been misled into believing that racial progress is America’s manifest destiny. That racial progress defines the arc of American history since 1619. That ‘things have changed dramatically.’ In fact, this has more often been rhetoric than reality, more often myth than history. Saying that the nation can progress racially is a necessary statement of hope. Saying that the nation has progressed racially is usually a statement of ideology, one has been used all too often to obscure the opposite reality of racist progress.”

How Long: 18 - 19hrs on Audible

Immediate Reaction: Great book for Black men who can handle the unschooling necessary to understand the horrors within American history, but are ready to be equipped with knowledge to protect themselves from accepting lies often told. You will smile and see yourself in the images of the physical book, feel the heartbreak in the true stories included, and see beauty in the poetry written. This book is heavy, but educational and needed. I highly recommend the physical copy, and listening to it also. Such an amazing resource. This may be my favorite book of all time, but this would probably need to be broken into two parts/months to process and discuss.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

These books are all too good to dismiss. Maybe I’ll need to write a part two or actually start a book club...

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