Where Do I Start?

I've had a love-hate relationship with make-up for as long as I can remember. I remember my aunt buying me blue eyeshadow when I was a pre-teen, because I wanted it ... I think I used it once? Still not sure if it was just the wrong colours for my face, or if it looked awful because I didn't know what I was doing. (Maybe both!)

My best friend did my make-up (as well as my hair!) for my graduation photo. I asked her to make it as natural-looking as possible, which I think she did ... but I (personally) still noticed the make-up when the pictures came back. I hated the way I looked -- I think no matter what she did, I would've seen my face as too unnatural-looking.

I talked to someone within the past few months about make-up, asking her about her thoughts on using it for professionalism ... she basically said we don't need make-up to be considered "professional", which was a relief for me. She's in the same industry I'm training to get into right now, life coaching, and I was genuinely worried I wouldn't get clients if I didn't start wearing SOMETHING on my face.

... So, after all of these experiences, why do I still secretly (or, I guess, not-so-secretly now) desire wanting to learn about make-up? Am I missing something from my life that I don't realize? (I can't think of anything right now ...)

I know that if I were to use make-up as a creative outlet -- to play, to explore -- it would become one of my most expensive hobbies. I can't justify spending money on something I won't use. I tried that a couple years ago; I bought a couple make-up palettes and some lip glosses ... that I maybe used twice. I thought I was ready to take on the new challenge of make-up, but I guess I was wrong. Now, I'm scared of taking on that risk.

There's also other things to consider. For example, when I was researching different make-up brands, I came across a list of companies that either do or don't test on animals. I'm not a vegan, I don't live a lifestyle where I'm normally considerate of things like this, yet I had this compulsion to make sure, if I do start wearing make-up, I wouldn't buy from brands that are cruel to animals.

To combat the risk of spending 100s of dollars, I considered ordering monthly Ipsy bags, as a starting point. It could be a jumping off point for me, finding products in a less-expensive manner. I'd still have to learn how to use them, but I've seen some YouTube videos of people showing how their Ipsy products work. So I keep coming back to this idea. However ... what if I get a sample from a company that isn't on PETA's list of acceptable brands? Do I throw it out? Do I give it away? What's the protocol with this?

I do love the way I look without make-up -- I've been complimented on my skin, I'm proud of how my face naturally looks. I think this is part of why it's taken me so long to come around to the idea of wearing make-up. But will I still feel this way in my 30s? 40s? What will happen if I try to learn this information later in life? Is it better to explore NOW?

Is wearing make-up really all that fun? Is it worth it to TRY? Is it something I WANT to spend my precious time on (given my multitude of other interests I still haven't gotten to)?

As you can see, I still have SO MANY questions around the topic of make-up ... which is maybe a sign that I'm NOT ready.

So, I guess my place to start is finding some answers.