Unbelievable Things Strangers Have Admitted To Me Working As a Bartender

With over a decade in the service industry, I have clocked hours in many different types of hospitality.

Bars, family joints, golf courses, a retirement home, Chuck E Cheese’s (I wish I was kidding), and as different as each of these establishments were, they all had one thing in common.

People love to open up to strangers. And I have been told some pretty inappropriate and wild things over the years.

So behold, a few (of MANY) unbelievable things I’ve ever been told by complete strangers.

The Not-So-Undercover Blind Dates

One night while working at a bar, I noticed a regular customer sitting by himself in the corner of the restaurant.

I approached him, asked if he would be having his usual, and retreated behind the bar to fetch it for him.

As I was heading back to his table with his drink, I noticed a co-worker was leading his wife in the complete opposite direction of his table.

“Oh, I just saw your wife arrive, I don't think the hostess knew you were over here, I’ll go get her”,

I turned to walk away when he abruptly stopped me, “No!”

“No?” I paused, not understanding.

“We’re not together tonight”

By the awkwardness of his nature, I let it go and made myself scarce, only returning to the table when he flagged me over.

He was watching something. Someone.

His wife, who was sitting with another man on the other side of the restaurant.

I wasn’t sure (or at all skeptical) about the situation at first because it just looked like she either had a client meeting or interview of some kind and wanted a bodyguard close.

Nothing weird about that. But there was wine.

And touching.

A lot of touching. Above and below the table touching.

My co-workers and I were miffed, but one of them called it out right away.

He liked to watch.

It wasn’t until the flirtatious couple was onto dessert and lonely lurker was paying up for his 3 pints that he shocked me with his confession. And it wasn’t what I was expecting, at all.

“I know it may seem weird, but we’re at a really terrible spot in our marriage right now. Our therapist suggested doing something adventurous”, he used air quote hand motions around the last word and dropped his head to the floor, seemingly defeated, “I’m not sure this is what he meant,” he said, tossing me a generous tip and leaving his wife behind to finish her date with the mystery man.

It broke my heart thinking that the fun being had was just one-sided.

This happened 4 more times while I was working there and he never once seemed more comfortable with the situation.

On the flip side of that previous story, the next one had me and a co-worker unwillingly covering up an affair.

Don’t Sh*t Where You Eat

When you work in catch-all restaurant in a small town, you tend to have a few different types of regulars.

We had the guys that would arrive every day right after clocking out to relax with a cold drink and a casual conversation before retreating home to their families.

We had heaps of teens that would come in multiple times a week to sit around with appetizers and desserts.

We had the families that showed up for every burger, wing, and kids-eat-free specials.

And then there was this one lady.

I didn’t take notice of her until a fellow bartender pointed out what he thought may have been going on. We’ll call him Ryan in this story.

“I’ve served that women every Saturday night for the past 2 months, one 6oz glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, and the second is always something different, cause it’s ALWAYS a different dude,”

He didn’t seem like the type to slut shame, so I called him out on it.

“This just feels icky to me,” he concluded, and we didn’t talk about it again.

It continued for 6 months. Every Saturday night around 9 pm, same woman, different guy.

I honestly didn’t think she was any different than the many other dating women I was used to seeing, mind you, a tad more persistent in her efforts.

But I could tell Ryan thought there was more to her story.

That’s when it happened..

It was a Thursday evening around dinner time, and she was there with yet another man we’d never seen before.

I was behind the bar when I spotted a wide-eyed Ryan making a run for the kitchen, he motioned me to follow him so I did.

“She’s married!” He screamed as soon as we got through the swinging double doors into the steamy kitchen.

“Wha,”

“That’s her fucking husband!” He cut me off, “I knew something was up with her”, he confirmed, more to himself than to me.

“How do you know?” I asked, trying to get him to slow down and actually explain what the heck was going on.

“I, admittedly, slipped and asked her if she wanted her regular wine,” (as servers, this is something we try to avoid if you don’t know the entire party because, as situations like this, you can really create a mess for someone) “And I could instantly tell she was embarrassed I knew what she drank, and then he asked her if she’d ever been here before, and she said NO!”

He was going to boil over. The drama was something straight from a reality TV show.

But the situation was becoming clearer now.

By the end of their meal, the gentlemen had referred to her as ‘his wife’ confirming Ryan's suspicions.

This, as I said was a Thursday. Saturday, she was back. No husband, but new date.

This carried on a few more times before Mrs. Tinders husband came in solo to have a drink at the bar.

This was only our second time ever seeing him, but both Ryan and I remembered exactly who he was.

Everything was cool until while scrubbing glasses I heard Ryan mention “the bro code” and I knew shit was about to hit the fan.

I couldn’t decide whether to run for cover or stick around to watch what was going to unfold.

But they talked calmly, he paid for his drink and left.

The night got busy quick after that and I never got a chance to ask Ryan what happened.

I’d find out the very next night, however.

As I was arriving for my evening shift, Ryan was doing his cashout from his dayshift.

Mrs. Tinder’s husband came into the restaurant and sat next to him at the bar. He ordered a beer from me and asked Ryan if he could buy him a beer too.

He held up his drink where Ryan tipped his glass into a cheers and the man unloaded on us both.

He said he and his wife were new to the area, relocated because of her work. He now was required to travel Thursday through Sunday to his office which was right across the border in the U.S.

He had his suspicions about his wife but she had been gaslighting him for years, making him feel guilty for asking every time he confronted her about the possibility of being unfaithful to him.

Ryan finally gave him the proof he needed to leave her after 12 years.

I didn’t know how I felt about what he did at first, but after seeing this man single-handedly credit Ryan for giving him his happiness back, I knew that sometimes meddling into certain situations is just the right thing to do.

Besides, it was her fault for bringing her husband to the same joint she frequented with her side pieces. This is way too small of a town to get away with that sh*t around here.

That’s all for now,

Thanks for hanging out,

Half Pint.

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