Stop Ruining Your Hair Because Instagram Told You To

I try really hard to educate and to not be angry or bitter over hair and makeup. But Instagram influencers make that hard. Like, really hard. Since covid-19 banished us all to our homes, closed hair salons and beauty supply stores, and made every hair stylist reschedule appointments on a "to be announced" basis, I've been seeing a lot of "hair diy" videos pop up on the Internet lately. What a coincidence.

I get that you want to do a root touchup on Day 22 of quarantine. I'm not gonna stop you, but I'm begging you not to watch Instagram videos and take my advice instead. Please.

Stop using craft scissors to cut your hair

Have you ever noticed that when you go to a hair salon, all the stylists have nice little scissors, not a pair you would pick up at Office Max? Yeah, there's a reason for that. Shockingly. Typical scissors you would have at home, like craft scissors, have beveled edges that are great for cutting paper snowflakes but not super nice for cutting hair. Haircutting shears have convex edges, which help the blades slide evenly across the hair and gives you a nice even cut.

Beveled edges are great for if you want a blunt bob. Think Edna Mode from the Incredibles but probably with less precision because you're using....craft scissors. But if you need any precision cutting, or even just to snip off split ends, it's so much better in the long run to just order haircutter's shears off Amazon. Even though I hate Amazon. The fact that I'm endorsing it should tell you we're in dire straits.

Some tips for at home hair lightening...

Don't do it!

Well, yeah. As much as I wish I could convince all of you to not touch your hair with bleach, I know you're gonna do it anyway. First things first, throw away the 40 volume developer. Unless you want your hair to fall out. Then, using 20 volume, do a strand test. Yeah, you need to do a strand test, dude. You've got all the time in the world. I suggest taking a piece of hair underneath your ear, that way if you mess up you can just snip it off and no one will ever know. Except you and your conscience. Always read directions.

Another reason I'm not a huge fan of Instagram DIY hair videos is because they're all done by....hairstylists. We know what we're doing. Those videos are for us to show you that we know what we're doing. They are not incentive for you to put 40 volume on your hair for 2 hours because you want to be platinum blonde and some hairdresser did it. That's how you end up in the salon chair getting a pixie cut.

If you're doing your roots, the hair closer to your scalp will lift faster than anywhere else. So, what might take your ends 40 minutes to lighten could take your roots 20. Keep an eye on them or else you'll end up with stripes and hot roots.

If your test strand doesn't lift past orange, you've got options. If you have dark hair or hair that has been dyed dark with demipermanent or permanent color, just stop there. That isn't lifting any more. If you want to go blonde, wait out this quarantine thing. Maybe even hit up your hairdresser who helped you go dark in the first place and see what they say. If you have previously uncolored hair and it isn't lifting past orange, wash out the lightener, dry the strand, and reapply. Do I recommend this? No! Are you going to do it anyway? Probably!

If you have ever touched your hair with henna dye, just stop. If you slap a little bleach on there, I kid you not, your hair is gonna start smoking in those foils. Game over, baby. Get out the clippers.

Regarding heat styling videos:

Please. If your hair straightener or curler does not have degrees listed, you should not be using it. If the only numbers listed are like, 5 through 25...you need to throw that thing out promptly and buy something with the actual temperature listed on the settings. "25" is not an indicator of temperature. You're probably baking your hair at 410 degrees Farenheit. I have my oven on 350 to make cookies. Come on now.

So, for those of us with medium coarse to coarse hair, keep your hot tools at 330 degrees max. For those with fine hair, don't even think about going above 300. The only time anyone should use an iron set to 410 is if you have very dense, very curly, coarse hair. And even then, you're using a heat protectant. Actually, all of you need heat protectants. This one is my favorite. Please. This is an act of self love.

Oh, and don't use your flat iron to heat the bleach in your foils. Like, I can't believe I saw a video of that happening in the year 2020 but just...don't.

Why isn't your vivid hair color lasting?

I mean, where do I begin?

What brand of color are you using? Brands like Manic Panic are good for about 1-2 washes as semipermanent color. Pravana Vivids, which is a salon brand, lasts about a month before you start to see fading. That is if it's taken care of properly.

Which brings me onto my next question: how are you washing your hair? If you're washing your hair every single day with scalding hot water and Vo5 shampoo uh...yeah. That's gonna bring your hot pink down to frosé real fast. I recommend for all haircolor clients to wash their hair with color safe brands (I use Living Proof's color safe formula), using cold water to seal up your hair cuticle so color doesn't leave, and only washing your hair 2x a week. Yes, you can shower more than 2x weekly. But maybe invest in a shower cap.

Thoughts on homemade hair masks

I see a lot of homemade hair mask videos, and for the most part, they're pretty spot on so I'll keep this one short. But there are things that should go on your scalp and things that shouldn't. Like lemons. The acidity of lemons does all it can to blast your hair cuticle open, which is why in the 1990s everyone put lemon juice in their hair and sat in the sun for hours trying to go blonde. So, if you have colored hair, yeah...stay away from lemons.

Another big ingredient I see is honey. Honey is an amazing way to hydrate hair naturally but it is also.......honey. So it can be messier than just a leave in conditioner. But hey, if that's what you want to do, go for it babe.

Well, if you scrolled through this entire thing before touching your hair impulsively, that's more than my 90 year old great aunt can say for herself. That's right, she cut her hair with manicure scissors at 10 pm last night, so even the most offline of people aren't immune to the urge to keep their hair in check.

At the end of the day, wanting to keep your hair presentable isn't anything to be ashamed of! It means that you respect your appearance enough to want to continue to be your bad lil self. And if you mess up...well I mean, hair grows. Not to mention, right now you might have the luxury of not needing to leave home and see anyone for anything other than toilet paper once a week.