I Didn't Want My Daughter to Get a Tattoo

I couldn't imagine why anyone would purposefully mark themselves with a design that would permanently stain their body for eternity. Tattoos are my not my thing. I could blame this thought on my the fear of needles but in reality, it stems from an old-fashion belief that only carnies and rock stars ink their bodies. 

My parents taught me that respectable citizens do not have tattoos. As a youth, I swallowed their stereotype without questions. As a mother, I had to reexamine my premise when my daughter wanted a tattoo. Sounding like a parrot, I stated all Mom and Dad's descriptions of people with tattoos:

• Irresponsible
• Deviants
• Uneducated
• Unprofessional

Then I added my own arguments that had no substance but sounded good in my mind. 

• You will have regrets when you get older. 
• Ink is permanent.
• You will never get a decent job.
• The images become unappealing with age.

And just in case she didn't accept this logic, I provided emotional questions.

• Why do you think tattoos are called tramp stamps?
• What will your grandpa say? Knowing grandpa was her idol, I figured his response might impact her decision. 

Kat had made up her mind and since she was an adult there was nothing I could do other than frown and look disgruntled. However, she did seize the opportunity to point out she was a responsible college student who held a fulltime job and planned on teaching. She continued to reassure me that she was not a tramp, never intended to work at the carnival and had no musical ability. Then she dropped the final bomb. Grandpa has a tattoo.

Yea but . . . but. . . I thought about saying he is a guy - that's sexist. He is an adult but so is she. He was in the military but couldn't figure out why that mattered. I resisted screaming that was a different time knowing tattoos are more mainstream now than they once were.

The day Kat came home with her first tattoo, I couldn't have been prouder. It was in honor of her grandparents. A bluebird carrying a banner inscribed #2 copied her idol's bluebirds. The banner brought back memories of times grandpa would pick her up when she was sick at school which seemed to happen too often. The number 2 was Kat's assigned number so it was written on her desk and supplies. It became her code name between the two when they played hooky. 

I believe the Dad and Kat concocted a plan to periodically spend the day together whenever she had a mild cough or scraped knee. It got to the point that the nurse and I agreed Kat had to have a temperature before she could call Grandpa. 

Under the image of the bluebird is inscribed the words, "Make it happen." The phrase her grandma reiterated often to encourage her to control her own destiny. Since Grandma Connie had passed earlier in the year, it was a tribute of her love and devotion to her grandchildren. 

In 2010 Kat was diagnosed with bone cancer, in her femur. Throughout the ordeal, numerous x-rays documented her journey. The one after the surgery took on meaning when a heart was identified in the image. As a cancer survivor, Kat chose to have the x-ray image tattooed on her foot.

This tattoo became a badge of honor sharing the strength and love required to battle, confront, and defeat cancer. The screws represent strength and the heart conjures memories of the love and support offered. I realized the negative fears originally vocalized about tattoos to be unreasonable and old fashioned. In fact, I love her tattoos and the memories they share.

Kat's third tattoo is shared by both daughters. Together they chose pine trees to represent a shared passion for nature and camping. Their choice was an honor to me because it demonstrated their close bond as sisters and desire to embrace memories from family experiences as youth.

Both girls have had their share of struggles but throughout each event, they knew they always had each other. The pine trees stand as constant reminders that they are never alone. 

There was a time my mind made judgements about people with tattoos. Then I matured and gained understanding. Many people snap pictures, create scrapbooks, and write stories. It is common to see artwork depicting important events framed and hanging on a wall. Music provides an avenue to relive significant moments in life. Tattoos provide the same opportunities. They share with others our past and remind the owner to appreciate life. I used to try not to stare at someone's tattoo thinking it rude, but I now ask questions and praise the beauty of the images that share stories and secure memories.