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The fate of my soul

by Dr. X 2 years ago in humanity
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Dr. X

You never know how music will hit you and what it will do to you until the moment it stops everything you're doing in your tracks and really makes you listen, possibly putting you in your feels. It's always at unexpected times but when it happens its magical. The moment i listened to Indie rocker Taylor John Williams, his remastered version of The Mates of Soul touched me in a way i never thought it would. Before i met Ray i was in a previous relationship for six years, oh did i think i was inlove with this boy but i was just infatuated with him you see. I gave this boy everything i had, i was ready to be his wife and he was ready to slip into the next chick who was ready to spread his legs for him, until he got another girl pregnant.  I never would have known that he was cheating just always felt it in my gut if it was for the blessing in disguise, Stephanie.

At first my dear stephanie, i thought you shattered my world, took the love of my life but I was wrong. You getting pregnant was the push i needed to let him go and focus on myself, to let you in Ray and in that moment i almost became religious when you kissed me and then this song played. The song that made me realize that Rinck wasn't the person i was supposed to end up with, it was you. " I said i never believed in the mates of soul and so i never once claimed that i know"  the chorus spoke out to me, making me go back-and-forth on whether i thought i was falling for you and falling hard to soon or if it was just another situation as before but it wasn't Ray.

The water was hitting my back, warm and light with just the small of pressure which felt like it was massaging my scalp. I was jamming out to the beautiful Carrie Underwood, you can never go wrong with some country in your life and in all honesty if you don't like country, hang with me long enough and you'll begin to listen to it on your own even without me around, but thats irrelevant at this moment. This moment, Ray, was the moment you came in to join me, it was the beginning of us starting whatever we were, we were smiling, laughing and having our normal fun and relaxing time as always, us being comfortable with each other was never our issue. Our issue was telling each other how much we wanted to be more than whatever we were, fuck buddies? friends with benefits? in a relationship without the title? i had no idea and neither did you, but i think we both figured it out when this song came on because you did the same as i did, you froze.

It was like watching everything i felt when the song played, through a mirror just with your face and body instead of  mine. You pulled me in close and we swayed back and forth to the song while the warm water hit our bodies and we didn't mind, it didn't stop us, infact it just brought you closer to me. You even started to groom my hair, stroking it down, making sure it stayed out of my face. It was like you were feeling everything i was feeling, everything i felt when the song first played, everything i feel to this day when this song plays. I still rememeber the moment the lyrics said "they say to stay together and they promise to forever, even if forever never really wanted to stay" thats when our bodies stopped swaying in the water, your heart started to beat faster and faster while my cheek was pressed against your chest, feeling all the warmth you gave me, even more than the shower was already. I felt you body begin to shift, where your hands began to slide up the side of my body like you were shaping the outline of my figure until you reached the tip of my chin and the moment Taylor John Williams sang "that you're the only, only one for me"  you looked deep into in my eyes and kissed me like it was going to be your last .

"And i know deep down that you feel it too," Ray you will never understand the feelings that moved through me when you pulled back after kissing me the first time to the moment you heard those next lyrics, you kissed me one more time. With so much love and protection, i felt it in my toes, you looked back into my eyes so deeply i thought you could hear me screaming "I LOVE YOU" and i was terrified. In that moment as well i thought you were going to say it to me, i thought that you felt what i felt when this song played, i thought the song made you see what i was seeing, that we were meant to be together, that we were falling hard for each other and in that time all i had was faith, faith that we would work out. I remember all of this, even if you dont, i remember it like it was yesterday and i will forever remember it because i found out you did love me then, you were just to terrified to tell me, you were afraid i wasn't falling as fast as you were but i was and everytime i hear this song, it will forever take me back to the moment i got to experience the first time you heard the song and the first time i truly got to feel all of your love, even if you didn't realize you where letting me.

"The Mates of Soul" by Tyalor John Williams will forever make my heart sore knowing you are the one i was meant to wait for, you are the mates of soul i never thought i believed in.

humanity

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Dr. X

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